Day 3 of Neil's amazing Annihilation method Workshop got started a little late, due to the fact that everyone (but me) was up until 4:30 am partying with some of the girls from the club and Neil's home.
When I arrived, the cleaning lady was there busily trying to get everything cleaned and smelling nice before the seminar. Apparently the girls had really trashed the place the night before.
When the Final Five arrived, they had a glow about them. They were all tired, for sure, but it seemed like a "happy tired," (you know, like the kind of tired you feel after a great night).
The first thing Neil covered was the breakdowns from the club the night before. Everyone recapped their experiences and Neil gave his critiques.
Zone got $100 for being the "most improved" of the bunch. But the real VIP was Indiana, who boasted his first club make-out from a cold approach. The change in Indiana was something to behold. He walked with greater confidence and even sat down like he was a champion.
Neil pointed out how each of the guys had experienced some major success over the last two days, and that success was breeding real confidence (and it was showing!).
By the time the breakdown was through, Neil's special surprise was ready to be unveiled. He had invited two very special guest speakers to work with the Final Five...
Steve Piccus and Hypnotica!
Now for those of you who read The Game, you may recognize them as Steve P. and Rasputin. Steve Piccus was famous for hypnotizing women and having them PAY him for the priveledge of giving him blowjobs. Hypnotica (aka Rasputin) is Steve P.'s partner in crime, and also runs a major strip club in the San Diego area.
This was a real treat because these guys don't usually work with anyone because their knowledge is so powerful, and they take clients by referral only. They are the inner game specialists who have worked with all the gurus. So to have them show up to help Neil out was great.
Just some more quick background... Steve Piccus is widely regarded as the "godfather" of the seduction community. It's the concepts he pioneered that laid the groundwork for a great deal of material out there, including Speed Seduction and Double Your Dating (both Steve P. and Hypnotica are regular speakers at David DeAngelo seminars).
The famous Rick H learned everything he knows about bedding bisexual women from Steve Piccus.
But the most amazing thing this dynamic duo is known for is personal change work. And that's what they were there to talk about the final day.
The topics Steve P. and Hypnotica covered ranged from personal change to sexual mastery. One of the coolest exercises they did was teach the guys how to have amazing self-confidence.
Hypnotica picked on Rourke a bit about this, and demonstrated the technique on him. It was a small anchoring exercise where Hypnotica had Rourke imagine a line running from behind him to in front of him. On the line behind him, was pain. On the line in
front of him was supreme confidence.
Hypnotica had Rourke take a step back and asked him how it felt. Then another step back. And another. Rourke was not feeling very good by this point. Then Hypnotica had him step forward. And as he stepped forward, he started feeling better.
Eventually, he got all the way to the front of the line to feel that supreme confidence he always wanted. The exercise really seemed to change him.
Hypnotica also went on to talk about how to find your center, and how it's important to have a strong center in your mind, body, and soul. The center is the part of you that controls your energy, and if you don't have it, your energy is all over the place.
Hypnotica has a really cool philosophy about how men need to embrace the feminine energy within them, just as women need to embrace their male energy. It's about yin and yang, balance.
There is no happiness without balance in your life.
Steve Piccus also talked about some really cool things, which I'm not going to go into in this report because they simply have to be seen to be believed, and if you just simply read about them you'd think I'm making them up. But needless to say, there was some hard-core change work going on.
By this time, Neil's second surprise showed up, namely Mystery. Neil told the guys about how Mystery was his teacher and really helped him to achieve mastery in many areas of his life.
Then Mystery took the stage and started his lecture. When this happened, Mystery started from the beginning.
And when I say the beginning, I mean THE BEGINNING.
As in "man climbed out of the primordial ooze looking for sex."
(Well, maybe Mystery didn't say that in so many words, but it was close =)
Mystery talked about how on an evolutionary scale, humans are meant to do two things, and they are: Survive and Replicate.
Men are driven to replicate because they have the survival part down. They're strong enough to live, and therefore seek out women to propagate their genes.
Women, however, are driven to survive, because they're the weaker of the species. So they look for men who can protect them to replicate with.
Much of this harkened back to Neil's theory on how women are attracted to men who are part of "Tribes" and have a certain kind of status.
Mystery covered a lot of great stuff during his presentation that I won't get into in this report, but I will cover two things that struck me as cool...
The first was Mystery's definition of mastery in the venutian arts. Basically, the martial arts is the art of war (based off the Greek God Mars), while the venutian arts is the art of love (based off the Greek God Venus).
There are only two levels anyone will ever be at in this artform. The first is AFC (average frustrated chump), and the second is Master Seducer. To Mystery there is no in-between. That means no "recovering" AFC or simple "pick up artist." Just beginner and master.
His metaphor was to look at beginner and master as islands, with nothing but water in-between them. On the islands, you're safe.
It's when you're in the water you can drown.
For instance, Mystery knows just enough about self defense to step up in a fight, but get himself seriously hurt. That was his example of being between "beginner" and "master." The same is true for pick-up. If you're more than a beginner but less than a master, you're going to have to brave the perils of the water you're in.
So what does it mean to be a master seducer? Mystery laid out the "Five for Five" rule that separates a true master seducer from everyone else. It's this:
For every five women you approach, you get five girlfriends out of
the interaction.
This means that out of five approaches, you are able to create attraction, comfort, and connection to a woman, and escalate the physical attraction to the point where it becomes a romantic relationship with every single one of your targets.
If you can do that, then you've achieved mastery.
This gave the Final Five a goal to reach for. If they ever get to the point where they can open 5 sets and get five girlfriends out of it, then they've gone as far as they need to.
The second coolest thing that Mystery talked about were his tactics for Last Minute Resistance (LMR). This is where you run into trouble with a woman in the final phases of a seduction.
Mystery related all pick-ups as a nine-level video game with no save feature. So if you can open a girl, you're playing level one. But if you lose her in creating attraction, it's game over, and you have to start over again with the next girl at level one.
So you can get all the way up to level 9, but mess up and have to start all over again.
His LMR tactics were designed to keep that from happening.
Now, I know you all probably want to hear these LMR tactics (and if you don't, trust me, you DO!). But I won't get into them here. This would be like giving away Rolexes to blind people. They just wouldn't know what to do with them. If you really want to know more, check out Mystery's website and take one of his seminars.
Mystery finished up his session by having Style join him on stage. It was really fun to get to see Mystery and Style riff together.
Their friendship really came out and you got to see how much respect they have for each other and the fun they have together.
After Mystery was done, Steve Piccus and Hypnotica took the stage again. This is where things got really awesome.
First, Steve Piccus demonstrated an exercise that got rid of your "negative voice." Basically, everyone has a "negative voice" in their head that criticizes them for doing something wrong. With this exercise, he showed us how to change that voice so that it was no longer negative, and with that, we took away our ability to
re-enforce bad beliefs. This was really cool stuff.
Then it got even cooler when Steve and Hypnotica started talking about their "Menage" tactics, which is basically how you can consistently get threesomes. Steve Piccus introduced his concept of the "Hermetic Circle" which allows you to have a harem of women at your beck-and-call for sex.
As Steve was explaining this, the Final Five were furiously scribbling down notes as their eyes lit up with amazement.
I have to admit, I'm a bit jaded on seduction stuff because I get so exposed to it all the time, but even I was amazed at the level of techniques Steve was sharing.
Then Neil joined them on stage and told the guys how to perform a "Dual Induction Massage," which is a 100% proven and field tested technique for getting a threesome whenever you want. They told the guys how to set it up and how to carry it out. And I guarantee you, some of these guys are going to be getting threesomes very
soon, based on the way they were soaking up this knowledge.
At that high point, Steve P. and Hypnotica left, and Neil wrapped up the seminar with a graduation ceremony.
One by one, each of the Final Five came up and were presented with a special dog-tag necklace that commemorates their journey from AFC to master (or chump to champ) that they can wear out and help them to remain focused on their goals.
After the seminar wrapped up, Neil treated everyone to a five star celebratory dinner at Koi, LA's hippest Japanese restaurant.
There, everyone was laughing, joking, and reflecting about their experiences over the past three days.
All the Final Five talked about how their lives will be forever changed by this weekend, and I had to agree with them. Even I felt like I learned so much out of this experience.
Neil had so much great stuff to share and teach. It's a shame that he will be retiring and never doing this again. I guess we'll just have to rely on these final five to carry on with his work and become the Masters they're destined to be, so they can eventually teach what they learned.
As Leonardo Da Vinci himself said, it's a poor student who doesn't surpass his teacher. And I expect that great things will come from these Final Five.
Until then, I'm sworn to secrecy about what I learned, as are the Final Five.
Good luck,
Joseph Matthews
P.S. If you want to become BETTER than Neil Strauss, why not check out some of the material he used personally to become better...
Like:
Double Your Dating
and
The Art of Approaching
or listen to him personally explain how he had wild success through online dating on David Deangelo's Meeting Women Online DVDs
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Thursday, December 15, 2005
The Annihilation Method Part II
Taken from an Art of Approaching email.
Here's the second part of my no-holds-barred report about Neil Strauss's special farewell workshop.
The Annihilation Method Day 2:
------------------------------
On Day 2, things started a little late, which is understandable considering that all of the students and instructors were up pretty much until 3:00 am.
As the Final Five wandered into Neil's house at the crack of 11:36 am, they all brought their club clothes with them as they were instructed to last night. Today, Neil had a surprise for them...
Namely, girls.
Once, way back in the good ol' days of Project Hollywood, Neil had done something really cool during the Pick-Up Artist Summit of 2004. During his presentation at Project Hollywood, he actually had a number of girls he was dating come in, pair off with some of the guys, report their first impressions, and then give fashion critiques. Neil also went on to demonstrate different techniques on the women.
It was probably the single coolest thing I'd ever seen up to that point, and I knew Neil had something similar planned today.
But the Seminar started off by doing a run-down of the night before. Neil went through each guy and covered what he had done, how much he improved, what results he had, and how he could to better that night.
As things turned out, everyone in the group had a new energy about them as they started recalling the previous night's successes. Everyone had shown they were up to the challenge of being Neil's "successors."
Neil then went on to cover a little more of the Annihilation Method. Basically, the day before was all about how to chase women. Now it was time for the guys to learn how to get women to chase them.
Neil went through his methods for getting women to pursue you. It breaks down into 8 different categories. They are:
1. Pebbles
2. Negs
3. LAS VEGAS Attitude
4. DHVs
5. Challenges
6. Hardcore Push-Pull
7. Disqualification
8. Cat String Theory
You combine all these to make the woman feel like she is winning YOU over. But once you get attraction and rapport with a woman, you can drop most of this.
Then, came the girls.
On day 1, Neil had gotten the phone numbers of 4 girls we had met in the club and convinced them to come over to his place to help do fashion consultations for the guys. As the girls began to show up, Neil had the guys change into their club clothes.
With the exception of one girl, the women were all very attractive and had a good energy about them. Not only that, but they were game for what Neil had in mind.
The first thing Neil did was pair off each of the Final Five with a girl, and just had them talk to each other alone in different parts of the house. Afterwards, everyone re-convened in the seminar room, with the girls taking center stage.
Neil then asked them the question: "What was your first impression of the guy you talked to?"
Then, one by one, all the girls started to share their first take on each of the Final Five (the good, and the bad). This was some amazing insight for the guys on how women perceive them, and gave them a good idea on what their real strengths were and what they still had to work on in terms of the image and attitude they were
projecting.
Then the real craziness happened.
Each guy got up before the firing squad and had the girls start critiquing the way he dressed. The girls all got into it and started really giving the guys good advice on how to better dress themselves to suit their type and look cool.
Neil really emphasized the concept of creating a character that you can live up to when going out, and dressing to suit that character.
Out of all the guys, Outback got critiqued the hardest by women. It might have had something to do with the fact that his club clothes were all peacocking, consisting of faux alligator pleather pants, a vintage t-shirt, and a furry rainbow colored jacket. Poor Outback was so proud of his brazen outfit at first, but as the
women started to rip into him, he was quickly making excuses for how he was dressed. I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy (especially since I'd seen MUCH worse peacocking work pretty well, despite what the girls were saying).
The fashion breakdowns all consisted of:
1. Style
2. Fashion
3. Clothing
4. Accessories
5. Hair
6. Grooming
7. Optional Male Makeup
Each point was hit on with each guy. Eventually, one of Neil's friends, who's a fashion expert, and his girlfriend Lisa jumped in and started giving their opinions too.
After the Fashion Breakdown, it was time to get back to the Annihilation Method. Neil had the girls hang around by the pool while he pulled them in one at a time to start demonstrating DHVs on them.
This was extremely cool. It's one thing to read about DHVs. It's another to have someone lecture you on them. But it's something totally special when you get all that, PLUS a demonstration on an actual girl who has no idea what's going on.
The first demonstration was Neil's "Five Questions" routine, where you basically play a "lying game" and bust on the girl's ego or naiveté (depending on the girl). Neil demonstrated this one on his fashion expert friend Mya, who fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Her reaction to it was great, and it really showed the power of
what Neil was teaching.
Next he called in another girl and did Style's patented Value Elicitation (a.k.a. Style's EV) and showed how that worked. The basics of this is that you can find out exactly what is important to a woman and what she's about by asking three simple question.
There's some hard-core NLP at work in this one, and the reaction from the girl was very cool. Neil was able to strike right at the core of who she was, and she really responded to it.
Next up, Neil demonstrated his version of The Cube on another girl. Now, I've been using the Cube for what seems like forever, but Neil's version is actually much better than the traditional model, and the reaction from the girl was excellent. Neil also took the opportunity to play around a bit and make her a member of the "Pen 15" club by writing "Pen 15" on her hand.
Of course, when you look at it, it looks like she's got the word "Penis" written on her hand. It's a great way to tool any girl (or guy) and demonstrate higher value while entertaining others. The girl jumped up and yelled "I have to go wash PENIS off my hand!"
Definitely one of the highlights of the seminar.
The last bit of demonstration came when Neil did eye accessing cues with the women. This is really cool, since he basically taught us how to catch anyone in a lie, but also have fun doing it. He's got two lying games, one called "Eye-Accessing Cues" and one called "Interrogation." I won't go into them here since they're a bit detailed, but they were very fun and had all the girls laughing.
But as an added benefit to learning this little game, you can tell exactly when a woman is lying to you about wanting to get together or whatever. Very powerful stuff.
After his willing female subjects left, Neil covered a variety of DHVs in detail, including:
1. Best Friend Test
2. "C"s vs. "U"s
3. Name Mnemonics
4. Cigarette Vanish
5. Various other playful games
Then Neil got into what he calls his "Black Mirror Technique," which is basically a form of cold reading that really lets you stand out from any other man your target is likely to ever meet.
The first step of it is to do a really cool psychic trick where you're able to guess the woman's birthday. The second part of the Black Mirror is to do some hard-core cold reading to demonstrate an understanding of her reality and pull her into your world. It was really cool stuff that I'm not allowed to go fully into detail about (sorry, that's the price of admission to the seminar!).
By the way, I found out that Neil calls it his "Black Mirror" technique because when you use this method of cold reading, it's like getting a window into someone's soul and reflecting it back to them so they can see it (though the technique involves pointing out problems they're having in life, hence the "black" part of the mirror).
Neil then touched a little bit on qualifying girls and establishing an emotional connection with them. He offered up a few cool routines and how to use open loops to keep women interested.
Finally, Neil ended by talking about (appropriately) Closes. This was probably one of the most eye-opening parts of the course. Sure, a lot of guys can open women. Maybe they can even get comfort and attraction going. But when it comes time to seal the deal and actually get physical, most guys FAIL!
Neil knows this, and he started to share some awesome tips to make sure that when the time comes, you're able to smoothly transition into kissing, then make-out, then sex.
Neil spent some time on teaching how to read a woman's Indicators of Interest (IOIs). He pointed out that you never want to show you're interested in a woman until she shows she's interested in YOU.
Then, you escalate the kino (ie: touching). He showed a cool little trick on how to do this called "Right Hand/Left Hand."
Then he shared his patented Evolution Phase Shift Kiss Routine. This is Style's own tried and true method of getting a kiss and make-out EVERY SINGLE TIME he was with a girl. I think he said it only didn't work once out of all the times he used it, and that was because he telegraphed too much interest before hand.
Neil also went through about three more kissing routines, then shared Juggler's Girlfriend Test (which was killer), and then started talking about "instant dates."
Instant Dates is a time distortion tactic that makes the girl feel like she's known you longer than she really has. It consists of taking the girl to different places the same night you meet her.
For instance, you meet her at the bar, then move her out to the patio to talk. This is the equivalent of 2 dates, because the surroundings change, so subconsciously, it feels like a different venue. And because of that, the woman feels like she knows you longer and is more comfortable around you.
Then, Neil's girlfriend Lisa took the stage and gave the guys some tips on "Make Up."
Now, when Neil had originally told me he was going to have Lisa teach the guys how to use make up, I was a bit skeptical. I always looked at that as metrosexual bullcrap.
Boy, was I wrong.
Lisa developed a special "Male Make Up" baggie for each of the Final Five. It consisted of some powder, some eyeshadow, some mascara, and a hair stick. She got Zone to come up in front of the group and started demonstrating the use of this make-up on him.
The first was the powder. She showed how you can use powder to even out your skin tone and look healthier. Then we all watched in amazement and Zone went from a pasty white guy to a guy who looked like he had a nice bronze tan in the matter of a minute.
Then she used the eyeshadow to bring out his eyes. It was flesh-colored, but gave the area around the eyes a little darker tone, so his eyes popped. Then she used the mascara to move his eyelashes away so you could really see his eyes well.
Then the cool thing was that she used the eyeshadow to darken the grey spots in Zone's facial hair and the back of his head. He didn't have to dye his hair or anything, with just a few quick strokes, he had some nice, even hair color.
Then she showed how you can use the same technique to darken your scalp under balding areas. Usually, when guys are losing their hair, the scalp gets really pasty white. But then you use this make-up and it makes the scalp underneath the hair look even with the tone of your face.
Finally, she used the hair stick to give his hair a cool little spike to it. I had always wondered how so many people got their hair to look "messed up but cool," and with this little trick, Lisa showed us all how to do it.
Neil was very big on teaching the guys that you have to show your best self and take some effort with your appearance, and with Lisa's make-up kit, all the guys were set to look killer tonight.
After the Make Up demonstration, the Final Five went back to the hotel to get ready for the seminar's second club outing. Tonight, we were going to a club called "RokBar" off of Hollywood Boulevard.
Neil was good friends with the owner of the club, so we were treated like royalty. When the Final Five road up in the limousine, they by-passed the line and went right in. The club had reserved an entire second tier balcony for us to hang out in.
As I walked in the club, I was a little worried because there were definitely more guys than girls around. But the club was hopping none the less. The DJ for the night was playing some truly excellent music, and the club was bathed in blue, red, and purple lights.
Girls would get on top of the booths people were sitting in and start pole dancing, while on the ceiling above us, the movie Boondock Saints was projected onto the wall, giving a cool "cinema" vibe to the whole rock-and-roll atmosphere.
Once the club started to pick up, the Final Five started doing their thing. The guys were on fire, particularly Zone and Indiana.
Zone was a machine, going up to woman after woman, dancing with them, bringing them up to the VIP area, the whole nine yards. I couldn't believe that this mild-mannered journalist, who the day before you couldn't hear in a quiet room because he talked so
softly with a voice that completely lacked confidence, was now walking up to women in a loud club and getting them interested in him.
The real cool thing was Indiana getting his first "club make-out." That was definitely the highlight of the night. He had picked up this really h-o-t Asian girl and isolated her in our VIP balcony while Outback and I occupied her friend. Before the friend ended up dragging the Asian girl away, Indiana had not only gotten a phone number, but he'd also gotten a major tongue-down too!
Not all was going well for the Final Five, though. Rourke ended up leaving early because he wasn't feeling well. Outback was doing really well approaching women, but he was losing them in the attract phase. Wiseguy was having a slow night as well.
Then, Mystery arrives.
Mystery and his new girlfriend had driven in from Las Vegas and gone right to the club, so he wasn't peacocked out at all. But regardless, there's always a certain energy when Mystery walks into a room, and tonight wasn't any different. It was as though his presence gave the other guys the energy they needed to start having a wild time.
As the night wore on, things started to get more and more crazy. More girls were brought up to our area and the party started to get wilder. In addition to them dancing on our tables, some were even making out with each other right in front of everyone! Mystery started doing his magic tricks and creating a real party vibe.
Eventually, two off-duty strippers came up from the dance floor and started dirty-dancing on our balcony. That's when Wiseguy grabbed one and started grinding on her, doing a half-assed version of Neil's Evolution Phase Shift (which was a small mistake, because this girl was ready to go!).
By the time the club closed, the guys dragged the two strippers back to Neil's house. I pussed out and went home after the club closed because I was dog-tired, but I heard the next day that Wiseguy had ended up making out with one of the girls back at Neil's place, and probably could have closed the deal if her friend hadn't dragged her away.
So the breakdown of the night was:
Rourke: 6 approaches (went home early)
Zone: 2 numbers (as opposed to the night before, where he got 0)
Outback: 1 number
Wiseguy: Make-Out/Kiss close
Indiana: Make-Out/Kiss Close and two numbers
Overall the guys were really improving. As opposed to the night before where they were just opening sets, now they were actually using the Annihilation method to build at*traction with women quickly and effectively!
All of them could have gotten a make out had they been a little more practiced at using the Annihilation Method's means of creating an Emotional Connection and a Physical Connection, but for their second night out, the Final Five really did an amazing job.
Both Neil and I talked at the end of the night about how amazed we were at the student's progression. Neil had taught at a number of workshops over the past two years, and I've been to my fair share of them too, and neither of us had ever seen such a remarkable improvement with workshop attendees.
But the best was yet to come...
Neil had some surprises for the guys the next day that they didn't know about, and it was going to radically change each of their lives...
Forever.
(to be concluded...)
Check out some of these related products that helped Neil achieve with women:
Double Your Dating
and
The Art of Approaching
or listen to him personally explain how he had wild success through online dating on David Deangelo's Meeting Women Online DVDs
Here's the second part of my no-holds-barred report about Neil Strauss's special farewell workshop.
The Annihilation Method Day 2:
------------------------------
On Day 2, things started a little late, which is understandable considering that all of the students and instructors were up pretty much until 3:00 am.
As the Final Five wandered into Neil's house at the crack of 11:36 am, they all brought their club clothes with them as they were instructed to last night. Today, Neil had a surprise for them...
Namely, girls.
Once, way back in the good ol' days of Project Hollywood, Neil had done something really cool during the Pick-Up Artist Summit of 2004. During his presentation at Project Hollywood, he actually had a number of girls he was dating come in, pair off with some of the guys, report their first impressions, and then give fashion critiques. Neil also went on to demonstrate different techniques on the women.
It was probably the single coolest thing I'd ever seen up to that point, and I knew Neil had something similar planned today.
But the Seminar started off by doing a run-down of the night before. Neil went through each guy and covered what he had done, how much he improved, what results he had, and how he could to better that night.
As things turned out, everyone in the group had a new energy about them as they started recalling the previous night's successes. Everyone had shown they were up to the challenge of being Neil's "successors."
Neil then went on to cover a little more of the Annihilation Method. Basically, the day before was all about how to chase women. Now it was time for the guys to learn how to get women to chase them.
Neil went through his methods for getting women to pursue you. It breaks down into 8 different categories. They are:
1. Pebbles
2. Negs
3. LAS VEGAS Attitude
4. DHVs
5. Challenges
6. Hardcore Push-Pull
7. Disqualification
8. Cat String Theory
You combine all these to make the woman feel like she is winning YOU over. But once you get attraction and rapport with a woman, you can drop most of this.
Then, came the girls.
On day 1, Neil had gotten the phone numbers of 4 girls we had met in the club and convinced them to come over to his place to help do fashion consultations for the guys. As the girls began to show up, Neil had the guys change into their club clothes.
With the exception of one girl, the women were all very attractive and had a good energy about them. Not only that, but they were game for what Neil had in mind.
The first thing Neil did was pair off each of the Final Five with a girl, and just had them talk to each other alone in different parts of the house. Afterwards, everyone re-convened in the seminar room, with the girls taking center stage.
Neil then asked them the question: "What was your first impression of the guy you talked to?"
Then, one by one, all the girls started to share their first take on each of the Final Five (the good, and the bad). This was some amazing insight for the guys on how women perceive them, and gave them a good idea on what their real strengths were and what they still had to work on in terms of the image and attitude they were
projecting.
Then the real craziness happened.
Each guy got up before the firing squad and had the girls start critiquing the way he dressed. The girls all got into it and started really giving the guys good advice on how to better dress themselves to suit their type and look cool.
Neil really emphasized the concept of creating a character that you can live up to when going out, and dressing to suit that character.
Out of all the guys, Outback got critiqued the hardest by women. It might have had something to do with the fact that his club clothes were all peacocking, consisting of faux alligator pleather pants, a vintage t-shirt, and a furry rainbow colored jacket. Poor Outback was so proud of his brazen outfit at first, but as the
women started to rip into him, he was quickly making excuses for how he was dressed. I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy (especially since I'd seen MUCH worse peacocking work pretty well, despite what the girls were saying).
The fashion breakdowns all consisted of:
1. Style
2. Fashion
3. Clothing
4. Accessories
5. Hair
6. Grooming
7. Optional Male Makeup
Each point was hit on with each guy. Eventually, one of Neil's friends, who's a fashion expert, and his girlfriend Lisa jumped in and started giving their opinions too.
After the Fashion Breakdown, it was time to get back to the Annihilation Method. Neil had the girls hang around by the pool while he pulled them in one at a time to start demonstrating DHVs on them.
This was extremely cool. It's one thing to read about DHVs. It's another to have someone lecture you on them. But it's something totally special when you get all that, PLUS a demonstration on an actual girl who has no idea what's going on.
The first demonstration was Neil's "Five Questions" routine, where you basically play a "lying game" and bust on the girl's ego or naiveté (depending on the girl). Neil demonstrated this one on his fashion expert friend Mya, who fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Her reaction to it was great, and it really showed the power of
what Neil was teaching.
Next he called in another girl and did Style's patented Value Elicitation (a.k.a. Style's EV) and showed how that worked. The basics of this is that you can find out exactly what is important to a woman and what she's about by asking three simple question.
There's some hard-core NLP at work in this one, and the reaction from the girl was very cool. Neil was able to strike right at the core of who she was, and she really responded to it.
Next up, Neil demonstrated his version of The Cube on another girl. Now, I've been using the Cube for what seems like forever, but Neil's version is actually much better than the traditional model, and the reaction from the girl was excellent. Neil also took the opportunity to play around a bit and make her a member of the "Pen 15" club by writing "Pen 15" on her hand.
Of course, when you look at it, it looks like she's got the word "Penis" written on her hand. It's a great way to tool any girl (or guy) and demonstrate higher value while entertaining others. The girl jumped up and yelled "I have to go wash PENIS off my hand!"
Definitely one of the highlights of the seminar.
The last bit of demonstration came when Neil did eye accessing cues with the women. This is really cool, since he basically taught us how to catch anyone in a lie, but also have fun doing it. He's got two lying games, one called "Eye-Accessing Cues" and one called "Interrogation." I won't go into them here since they're a bit detailed, but they were very fun and had all the girls laughing.
But as an added benefit to learning this little game, you can tell exactly when a woman is lying to you about wanting to get together or whatever. Very powerful stuff.
After his willing female subjects left, Neil covered a variety of DHVs in detail, including:
1. Best Friend Test
2. "C"s vs. "U"s
3. Name Mnemonics
4. Cigarette Vanish
5. Various other playful games
Then Neil got into what he calls his "Black Mirror Technique," which is basically a form of cold reading that really lets you stand out from any other man your target is likely to ever meet.
The first step of it is to do a really cool psychic trick where you're able to guess the woman's birthday. The second part of the Black Mirror is to do some hard-core cold reading to demonstrate an understanding of her reality and pull her into your world. It was really cool stuff that I'm not allowed to go fully into detail about (sorry, that's the price of admission to the seminar!).
By the way, I found out that Neil calls it his "Black Mirror" technique because when you use this method of cold reading, it's like getting a window into someone's soul and reflecting it back to them so they can see it (though the technique involves pointing out problems they're having in life, hence the "black" part of the mirror).
Neil then touched a little bit on qualifying girls and establishing an emotional connection with them. He offered up a few cool routines and how to use open loops to keep women interested.
Finally, Neil ended by talking about (appropriately) Closes. This was probably one of the most eye-opening parts of the course. Sure, a lot of guys can open women. Maybe they can even get comfort and attraction going. But when it comes time to seal the deal and actually get physical, most guys FAIL!
Neil knows this, and he started to share some awesome tips to make sure that when the time comes, you're able to smoothly transition into kissing, then make-out, then sex.
Neil spent some time on teaching how to read a woman's Indicators of Interest (IOIs). He pointed out that you never want to show you're interested in a woman until she shows she's interested in YOU.
Then, you escalate the kino (ie: touching). He showed a cool little trick on how to do this called "Right Hand/Left Hand."
Then he shared his patented Evolution Phase Shift Kiss Routine. This is Style's own tried and true method of getting a kiss and make-out EVERY SINGLE TIME he was with a girl. I think he said it only didn't work once out of all the times he used it, and that was because he telegraphed too much interest before hand.
Neil also went through about three more kissing routines, then shared Juggler's Girlfriend Test (which was killer), and then started talking about "instant dates."
Instant Dates is a time distortion tactic that makes the girl feel like she's known you longer than she really has. It consists of taking the girl to different places the same night you meet her.
For instance, you meet her at the bar, then move her out to the patio to talk. This is the equivalent of 2 dates, because the surroundings change, so subconsciously, it feels like a different venue. And because of that, the woman feels like she knows you longer and is more comfortable around you.
Then, Neil's girlfriend Lisa took the stage and gave the guys some tips on "Make Up."
Now, when Neil had originally told me he was going to have Lisa teach the guys how to use make up, I was a bit skeptical. I always looked at that as metrosexual bullcrap.
Boy, was I wrong.
Lisa developed a special "Male Make Up" baggie for each of the Final Five. It consisted of some powder, some eyeshadow, some mascara, and a hair stick. She got Zone to come up in front of the group and started demonstrating the use of this make-up on him.
The first was the powder. She showed how you can use powder to even out your skin tone and look healthier. Then we all watched in amazement and Zone went from a pasty white guy to a guy who looked like he had a nice bronze tan in the matter of a minute.
Then she used the eyeshadow to bring out his eyes. It was flesh-colored, but gave the area around the eyes a little darker tone, so his eyes popped. Then she used the mascara to move his eyelashes away so you could really see his eyes well.
Then the cool thing was that she used the eyeshadow to darken the grey spots in Zone's facial hair and the back of his head. He didn't have to dye his hair or anything, with just a few quick strokes, he had some nice, even hair color.
Then she showed how you can use the same technique to darken your scalp under balding areas. Usually, when guys are losing their hair, the scalp gets really pasty white. But then you use this make-up and it makes the scalp underneath the hair look even with the tone of your face.
Finally, she used the hair stick to give his hair a cool little spike to it. I had always wondered how so many people got their hair to look "messed up but cool," and with this little trick, Lisa showed us all how to do it.
Neil was very big on teaching the guys that you have to show your best self and take some effort with your appearance, and with Lisa's make-up kit, all the guys were set to look killer tonight.
After the Make Up demonstration, the Final Five went back to the hotel to get ready for the seminar's second club outing. Tonight, we were going to a club called "RokBar" off of Hollywood Boulevard.
Neil was good friends with the owner of the club, so we were treated like royalty. When the Final Five road up in the limousine, they by-passed the line and went right in. The club had reserved an entire second tier balcony for us to hang out in.
As I walked in the club, I was a little worried because there were definitely more guys than girls around. But the club was hopping none the less. The DJ for the night was playing some truly excellent music, and the club was bathed in blue, red, and purple lights.
Girls would get on top of the booths people were sitting in and start pole dancing, while on the ceiling above us, the movie Boondock Saints was projected onto the wall, giving a cool "cinema" vibe to the whole rock-and-roll atmosphere.
Once the club started to pick up, the Final Five started doing their thing. The guys were on fire, particularly Zone and Indiana.
Zone was a machine, going up to woman after woman, dancing with them, bringing them up to the VIP area, the whole nine yards. I couldn't believe that this mild-mannered journalist, who the day before you couldn't hear in a quiet room because he talked so
softly with a voice that completely lacked confidence, was now walking up to women in a loud club and getting them interested in him.
The real cool thing was Indiana getting his first "club make-out." That was definitely the highlight of the night. He had picked up this really h-o-t Asian girl and isolated her in our VIP balcony while Outback and I occupied her friend. Before the friend ended up dragging the Asian girl away, Indiana had not only gotten a phone number, but he'd also gotten a major tongue-down too!
Not all was going well for the Final Five, though. Rourke ended up leaving early because he wasn't feeling well. Outback was doing really well approaching women, but he was losing them in the attract phase. Wiseguy was having a slow night as well.
Then, Mystery arrives.
Mystery and his new girlfriend had driven in from Las Vegas and gone right to the club, so he wasn't peacocked out at all. But regardless, there's always a certain energy when Mystery walks into a room, and tonight wasn't any different. It was as though his presence gave the other guys the energy they needed to start having a wild time.
As the night wore on, things started to get more and more crazy. More girls were brought up to our area and the party started to get wilder. In addition to them dancing on our tables, some were even making out with each other right in front of everyone! Mystery started doing his magic tricks and creating a real party vibe.
Eventually, two off-duty strippers came up from the dance floor and started dirty-dancing on our balcony. That's when Wiseguy grabbed one and started grinding on her, doing a half-assed version of Neil's Evolution Phase Shift (which was a small mistake, because this girl was ready to go!).
By the time the club closed, the guys dragged the two strippers back to Neil's house. I pussed out and went home after the club closed because I was dog-tired, but I heard the next day that Wiseguy had ended up making out with one of the girls back at Neil's place, and probably could have closed the deal if her friend hadn't dragged her away.
So the breakdown of the night was:
Rourke: 6 approaches (went home early)
Zone: 2 numbers (as opposed to the night before, where he got 0)
Outback: 1 number
Wiseguy: Make-Out/Kiss close
Indiana: Make-Out/Kiss Close and two numbers
Overall the guys were really improving. As opposed to the night before where they were just opening sets, now they were actually using the Annihilation method to build at*traction with women quickly and effectively!
All of them could have gotten a make out had they been a little more practiced at using the Annihilation Method's means of creating an Emotional Connection and a Physical Connection, but for their second night out, the Final Five really did an amazing job.
Both Neil and I talked at the end of the night about how amazed we were at the student's progression. Neil had taught at a number of workshops over the past two years, and I've been to my fair share of them too, and neither of us had ever seen such a remarkable improvement with workshop attendees.
But the best was yet to come...
Neil had some surprises for the guys the next day that they didn't know about, and it was going to radically change each of their lives...
Forever.
(to be concluded...)
Check out some of these related products that helped Neil achieve with women:
Double Your Dating
and
The Art of Approaching
or listen to him personally explain how he had wild success through online dating on David Deangelo's Meeting Women Online DVDs
Monday, December 12, 2005
The Annihilation Method -- Revealed!!
Taken from an Art of Approaching email.
Neil's big seminar was this past weekend, and I thought I'd share my seminar-recap with you, so those of you who couldn't attend could still get a taste of what Neil's first (and most likely only) seminar ever was like.
It was a rainy day in the Hollywood Hills the morning of December 2nd when I arrived and Neil's house.
The normally hip-pad had already been converted into "seminar mode" by the time I had gotten there. Two plush white couches were set up on the tiered stone floor, with a seat in the middle of the living room for Neil to run the seminar, backed by a fireplace and a collection of his best-selling books.
The thing that struck me right away was that this was not going to be your typical seminar. The setting was in Neil's actual home, so it felt very warm and intimate, as opposed to other workshops or seminars where everything seems cold, distant, and business-like.
It kind-of reminded me of the set-up the ancient Greek philosophers had when teaching their students via a dialogue. I don't know if this was Neil's intention or not, but that was definitely the vibe I was getting.
The night before, all five of the seminar attendees had been flown in. Neil had arranged for limousines to pick them up from the airport and drive them to the Standard Hotel in Hollywood, where their rooms had already been reserved.
That night, the five met Neil (and each other) for the first time, and their flagship outing was to have dinner at Miyagi's, a trendy Asian-themed club/sushi restaurant on the Sunset Strip. The first surprise Neil had in store for his new apprentices was a special dinner guest...
Ross Jeffries.
Now, I was not present at this dinner, so I can only report on what I was told later. The five attendees told me Ross came off exactly like he did in Neil's book, with lots of bashing of Mystery Method, and the touting of Speed Seduction as the one true religion of choice.
To Ross's credit, he apparently was in top form. The guy's reported he number closed two women that night. I guess he's been practicing. (Just kidding Ross, you know I love you!)
Anyway, I was very eager to meet the "Final Five," as I'd come to call them since their selection in October. After all, these were the men who were going to be "passed the torch" from the most powerful of the Jedi (and arguably one of the greatest pick up artists alive). So right away, they had a big standard to live up
to.
When they first walked in to Neil's home (chauffeured by limo from their hotel), I was under-whelmed to say the least.
It seemed a motley crew, made up of guys from all walks of life.
There was the good-looking, young hot-shot doctor from Pittsburgh, who instantly displayed the most "alpha" qualities of the bunch. At 27, he was the youngest of the bunch, and still in med school. This was "Wiseguy."
There was the aging professional gambler, ranking in at over 6'2, but despite his height, had a quiet and gentle way about him. He was mostly quiet and shy, and kept to himself for the most part. This was "Outback."
There was the Hispanic real estate developer from Chicago. Somewhat short and rotund, he looked like a college frat boy who'd been enjoying the party life-style a bit too much. This was "Rourke."
There was the professional journalist, with his thinning widow's peak of jet-black hair, and voice so quiet and meek you could barely hear him when he spoke. This was "Zone."
And finally, there was the software engineer from Buffalo, who struck me as the most anti-social of the bunch. He was a fairly good-looking guy, with an unassuming New York accent. Turns out he is a recovering "weight-aholic" who used to weigh over 300 lbs, though you'd never know it to look at the guy, who was pretty decent looking now. This was "Indiana."
It was at that point that I started to wonder what Neil had gotten himself into. Surely there were more deserving guys than that? After all, Neil went through over 300 applications and had hand-picked these guys himself.
As I greeted them and started trying to engage them, I found the Final Five fairly stand-offish and distant. I could feel their energy was low. Perhaps it was from staying out late for dinner the night before, perhaps it was a bit of jet lag, or perhaps they just had no charisma to begin with. I didn't know.
But when Neil came downstairs to greet the guys (wearing a quite spiffy manga t-shirt over a pink dress shirt), the guys seemed to perk up. Neil's personal energy seemed to light a spark that kindled a small flame in the eyes of his students.
At that point, I had a small glimpse of what was to come throughout the day.
As the Final Five took their seats, Neil began by telling them a bit about himself, and about his experiences in the seduction community.
He talked about how he spent two years hanging out with pick-up artists, and say some improve rapidly, and others flounder and go nowhere. He talked about the biggest mistakes guys make when trying to learn seduction. He pointed out that the two biggest mistakes are:
Just be yourself
And...
Be confident.
He explained that you shouldn't just "be yourself," you should be your best self. He elaborated that who we are is often a poor representation of who we really are or who we want to be.
He also said that just "being confident" is impossible without success. Success breeds confidence, and he wants to teach how to have success so his students can gain REAL confidence.
Thus, the Annihilation Method was introduced.
Neil described the Annihilation Method as a workout program for every single muscle that makes you up. It's a means of training yourself to fire on every cylinder. This means when you meet a woman, as when you are going in for a job interview, a family reunion, or trying to get upgraded to fist class on an airline - everything counts.
The Annihilation Method is broken down into three elements:
1. Who you are
2. What you do
3. When and how you do it
This is the foundation upon which Neil has built his method. He calls it the "Annihilation Method" because he sees it as a way to annihilate all fear, doubt, failure, and competition from your life.
Neil then went through the process of how the Final Five should go about learning what he had to teach. He quoted Arnold Schwarzenegger about his method to being successful in the learning process that will make you a champion. The quote went:
"This last two or three or four repetitions, that's what makes the muscles grow. That's what divides one from a champion and one from not being a champion. If you can go through the pain period, you make it to be a champion. If you can't go through it, forget it. And that's what most people lack: having the guts - the guts to go in and just say... "I don't care what happens." I have no fear of fainting in the gym... I threw up many times when I was working out. But it doesn't matter, because it's all worth it."
That's basically Neil's philosophy on becoming a master pick up artist. Dealing with challenges when they arise, working out problems in real life first, then in your head (not the other way around). And when things get painful, you push through it and learn from it.
At this point, Neil had each of the Final Five introduce themselves. Then he asked them why they were at the seminar.
Everyone had a different reason for wanting to be there. Some wanted more choice and power with women. Some wanted to overcome their fears and limiting beliefs. Some didn't want to just "settle" for a woman like their friends were doing.
And each guy had a different sticking point he wanted to conquer.
That's when Neil unleashed his "Las Vegas" system, which is the first phase of the Annihilation Method. I'm sworn to secrecy about this system, but Neil had all five guys participate in it, and it gave them an entirely new perspective on who they were, and what they needed to improve.
The stage had been set, and the groundwork for Annihilation had been laid.
This alone was something that really amazed me. One of the biggest problem guys have is not having a clear picture of what they need to improve. They just get hung up on what they feel is wrong with them (like being fat, bald, ugly, etc.), but not at what REALLY is keeping them back.
The Las Vegas system changed that, and now the Final Five had a clear picture of where they needed to go next.
Neil then unveiled the Annihilation Method's 4-step model of attraction. It is:
1. Open
2. Demonstrate Value
3. Create An Emotional Connection
4. Create A Physical Connection
Simple enough, right?
But when Neil actually started breaking down what made up each phase, things got more in-depth than even I could imagine.
The rest of the first day of seminar material was spent entirely on how to open. You could really see Neil light up as he started talking about this subject, and his enthusiasm for the material was infectious. I could literally start to see the student's eyes widen at the knowledge they were getting.
Seriously, light bulbs were going off over their heads as Neil explained the intricacies of opening women.
The coolest thing he talked about was his method of "calibration." This is about reading the dynamic of the group or the women you're approaching, and knowing what you have to do next - even if it's something you've never done before.
Now I realize why Neil is so good. It's his calibration skills. It's his ability to size up a situation, figure out where the girl is mentally and emotionally, and then adjust his game to that specific girl in order to get her.
And the cool thing is: HE TAUGHT EXACTLY HOW TO DO THIS!
Step-by-step. He broke it down by telling you the three responses to look for in a woman that will tell you how to adjust your game, and the tactics you can use to seduce her.
He also talked about how to figure out who the woman is and what she's about, quickly, so you can adjust your game accordingly.
By teaching this set of calibration skills, Neil was giving the Final Five the exact method they needed to seduce ANY WOMAN they want - consistently and effectively.
I was in awe.
I had never seen seduction or pick up taught like this before, and neither had the Final Five, who were as busy scribbling notes as I was.
And the really cool thing is, Neil shared his secret on how to get feedback from the women you pick-up so you know what you did that works and what doesn't!
Through this learning method, anyone could become phenomenal in the field.
Neil then went in depth on different types of openers, how to deliver them, and 16 general principles of opening.
A lot of this stuff I already knew, but Neil actually took the time to train his students on how to properly do an opener (which is different from most other workshops, who just throw you right out into the field from the start).
Each guy was nervous as he demonstrated his opener for Neil, and a few fumbled with it. But Neil gave them feedback that got them back on track and made them comfortable with their delivery.
He then went over these concepts:
1. What to do after the opener
2. Wingman rules
3. Role-playing
4. Push-pull
5. Pebbles
Now for those of you wondering what the hell "Pebbles" are, it's an awesome new concept Neil has that's a big part of the Annihilation Method. They're similar to "NEGs" in a way, but they're used to amp up fun, excitement, and interest in your pick-up.
Basically, the concept is that when things start dragging during a set (or when you want to amp things up), you toss these "pebbles" to hit your target in the head and get their attention. It's a strategy that's brilliant in it's simplicity, and highly effective.
The seminar portion ended with Neil and the Final Five going over 22 different Pebbles Neil had invented.
After the seminar ended, the group prepared for the workshop portion of the day. Neil's girlfriend Lisa took Zone and did a quick make-over with him. His long black hair with the thinning widow's peak made him look greasy and old. She gave him a quick haircut so he had a nice, short, trimmed head of hair, and the difference was remarkable. The guy looked 10 times better than he had before, all with a simple hair cut.
Then the Final Five were whisked back to the Standard to change for a night of clubbing.
The first stop was a trendy nightclub in the Highlands complex on Hollywood Boulevard called "Lucky Strike," which claim to fame was the fact that in addition to being a cool restaurant/bar, it was also a freakin' BOWLING ALLEY.
(Seriously, Hollywood has this weird thing about turning strange businesses into nightclubs. There's a beauty salon and shoe store that moonlight as nightclubs too.)
This is where the Final Five got their first taste of cold approaching Annihilation Method-style.
I was along on the ride as a co-instructor for the workshop. One of the reasons there were only five people allowed in the seminar is because Neil wanted to give all the guys a lot of personal attention. But he asked me to help out since this is one of my areas of expertise.
At Lucky Strike, I started pushing guys into sets. Basically, I'd ask them what their opener was, pick a set for them, send them in, then give them feedback on how to improve.
My first "victim" was Indiana. He had three false-starts before he had the courage to open his first set. Lucky for him, Neil came by to wing for him.
I did the same for Rourke, Outback, Zone, and Wiseguy (though Wiseguy seemed to be more of a natural than the others).
Neil had started a bet on the limo ride to the club that the first guy to get a number would win $100. So as the guys got more into approaching, the competition started heating up.
Lucky Strike was pretty dead for a Friday night, though. So there weren't that many good sets available. Most guys ended up opening sets some other student had opened earlier.
But the response of the Final Five was remarkable.
Shy old Outback was approaching some great sets, and he even pulled off probably the hardest opener of the night by opening a two-set of girls who were eating, and then joining them at their table!
Rourke and Zone were also getting in the groove of things, and each approached three sets.
Indiana was the most remarkable change. He was grinning ear-to-ear and walked with a new-found confidence. I joked with him about his sudden change, and he burst out "I never knew it was so easy to meet women!"
But the best was yet to come.
The next stop was at a place called Spider Club, which is a club above another club called Avalon, which is on Vine Street.
This is one of the hippest clubs in LA, and now I know why. The women here were GORGEOUS.
Seriously, we're talking L.A. quality 10s here.
Neil had arranged a VIP table at the club, along with bottle service. So even though we had a large group of guys around us, we had some super-high status going in (seriously, we just bypassed everyone waiting in line to get in. It was awesome).
Once we got situated at our table, all hell broke loose.
And I mean that in a good way!
The meek guys who I had met that morning had suddenly transformed into APPROACH MACHINES.
Something just seemed to click in all five guys. It was amazing. I had never seen anything like it happen in a workshop before.
Guys who earlier in the day could not talk to women or do a single cold approach were now using the Annihilation Method to meet some of the hottest women in LA.
Rourke opened a three-set of Latina girls who he brought to our table. Others went off to open some more sets, while a few took Rourke's lead and started merging sets and bringing girls over.
Things started getting wild. The Final Five were having a blast, dancing, sarging, laughing. Neil and I were amazed at how fast everyone was coming along.
Before we knew it, these guys were isolating targets and pawning groups off of groups. Each guy approached 12-15 sets over the course of a night.
The final count at the end of the night was:
Rourke - 1 phone number (he won the $100 because he was the first to get one), had a girl grinding on his lap most of the night.
Indiana - 1 phone number
Zone - 15 sets opened, and was dirty dancing most of the night
(turns out he didn't get a number because he wasn't sure on how to
ask for one, but he could have gotten many if he knew to ask)
Outback - 2 numbers
Wiseguy - An in-club make-out, also got 2 phone numbers
Every single one of them were beaming with a newfound confidence that can only come with success. Neil had achieved his goal. Each guy had tasted success with women for the first time, and their confidence had grown.
Neil and I were impressed. I'd never been to a workshop that had that much success in one night. All my fears about these guys had vanished, and I knew Neil had picked the right ones to pass his knowledge onto.
The funny thing was, Neil had only revealed a FRACTION of his Annihilation Method that day. If these guys were able to take that and have this kind of success in one night, I couldn't imagine what they'd do with the WHOLE system.
But I was soon to find out...
(To be continued...)
Neil's big seminar was this past weekend, and I thought I'd share my seminar-recap with you, so those of you who couldn't attend could still get a taste of what Neil's first (and most likely only) seminar ever was like.
It was a rainy day in the Hollywood Hills the morning of December 2nd when I arrived and Neil's house.
The normally hip-pad had already been converted into "seminar mode" by the time I had gotten there. Two plush white couches were set up on the tiered stone floor, with a seat in the middle of the living room for Neil to run the seminar, backed by a fireplace and a collection of his best-selling books.
The thing that struck me right away was that this was not going to be your typical seminar. The setting was in Neil's actual home, so it felt very warm and intimate, as opposed to other workshops or seminars where everything seems cold, distant, and business-like.
It kind-of reminded me of the set-up the ancient Greek philosophers had when teaching their students via a dialogue. I don't know if this was Neil's intention or not, but that was definitely the vibe I was getting.
The night before, all five of the seminar attendees had been flown in. Neil had arranged for limousines to pick them up from the airport and drive them to the Standard Hotel in Hollywood, where their rooms had already been reserved.
That night, the five met Neil (and each other) for the first time, and their flagship outing was to have dinner at Miyagi's, a trendy Asian-themed club/sushi restaurant on the Sunset Strip. The first surprise Neil had in store for his new apprentices was a special dinner guest...
Ross Jeffries.
Now, I was not present at this dinner, so I can only report on what I was told later. The five attendees told me Ross came off exactly like he did in Neil's book, with lots of bashing of Mystery Method, and the touting of Speed Seduction as the one true religion of choice.
To Ross's credit, he apparently was in top form. The guy's reported he number closed two women that night. I guess he's been practicing. (Just kidding Ross, you know I love you!)
Anyway, I was very eager to meet the "Final Five," as I'd come to call them since their selection in October. After all, these were the men who were going to be "passed the torch" from the most powerful of the Jedi (and arguably one of the greatest pick up artists alive). So right away, they had a big standard to live up
to.
When they first walked in to Neil's home (chauffeured by limo from their hotel), I was under-whelmed to say the least.
It seemed a motley crew, made up of guys from all walks of life.
There was the good-looking, young hot-shot doctor from Pittsburgh, who instantly displayed the most "alpha" qualities of the bunch. At 27, he was the youngest of the bunch, and still in med school. This was "Wiseguy."
There was the aging professional gambler, ranking in at over 6'2, but despite his height, had a quiet and gentle way about him. He was mostly quiet and shy, and kept to himself for the most part. This was "Outback."
There was the Hispanic real estate developer from Chicago. Somewhat short and rotund, he looked like a college frat boy who'd been enjoying the party life-style a bit too much. This was "Rourke."
There was the professional journalist, with his thinning widow's peak of jet-black hair, and voice so quiet and meek you could barely hear him when he spoke. This was "Zone."
And finally, there was the software engineer from Buffalo, who struck me as the most anti-social of the bunch. He was a fairly good-looking guy, with an unassuming New York accent. Turns out he is a recovering "weight-aholic" who used to weigh over 300 lbs, though you'd never know it to look at the guy, who was pretty decent looking now. This was "Indiana."
It was at that point that I started to wonder what Neil had gotten himself into. Surely there were more deserving guys than that? After all, Neil went through over 300 applications and had hand-picked these guys himself.
As I greeted them and started trying to engage them, I found the Final Five fairly stand-offish and distant. I could feel their energy was low. Perhaps it was from staying out late for dinner the night before, perhaps it was a bit of jet lag, or perhaps they just had no charisma to begin with. I didn't know.
But when Neil came downstairs to greet the guys (wearing a quite spiffy manga t-shirt over a pink dress shirt), the guys seemed to perk up. Neil's personal energy seemed to light a spark that kindled a small flame in the eyes of his students.
At that point, I had a small glimpse of what was to come throughout the day.
As the Final Five took their seats, Neil began by telling them a bit about himself, and about his experiences in the seduction community.
He talked about how he spent two years hanging out with pick-up artists, and say some improve rapidly, and others flounder and go nowhere. He talked about the biggest mistakes guys make when trying to learn seduction. He pointed out that the two biggest mistakes are:
Just be yourself
And...
Be confident.
He explained that you shouldn't just "be yourself," you should be your best self. He elaborated that who we are is often a poor representation of who we really are or who we want to be.
He also said that just "being confident" is impossible without success. Success breeds confidence, and he wants to teach how to have success so his students can gain REAL confidence.
Thus, the Annihilation Method was introduced.
Neil described the Annihilation Method as a workout program for every single muscle that makes you up. It's a means of training yourself to fire on every cylinder. This means when you meet a woman, as when you are going in for a job interview, a family reunion, or trying to get upgraded to fist class on an airline - everything counts.
The Annihilation Method is broken down into three elements:
1. Who you are
2. What you do
3. When and how you do it
This is the foundation upon which Neil has built his method. He calls it the "Annihilation Method" because he sees it as a way to annihilate all fear, doubt, failure, and competition from your life.
Neil then went through the process of how the Final Five should go about learning what he had to teach. He quoted Arnold Schwarzenegger about his method to being successful in the learning process that will make you a champion. The quote went:
"This last two or three or four repetitions, that's what makes the muscles grow. That's what divides one from a champion and one from not being a champion. If you can go through the pain period, you make it to be a champion. If you can't go through it, forget it. And that's what most people lack: having the guts - the guts to go in and just say... "I don't care what happens." I have no fear of fainting in the gym... I threw up many times when I was working out. But it doesn't matter, because it's all worth it."
That's basically Neil's philosophy on becoming a master pick up artist. Dealing with challenges when they arise, working out problems in real life first, then in your head (not the other way around). And when things get painful, you push through it and learn from it.
At this point, Neil had each of the Final Five introduce themselves. Then he asked them why they were at the seminar.
Everyone had a different reason for wanting to be there. Some wanted more choice and power with women. Some wanted to overcome their fears and limiting beliefs. Some didn't want to just "settle" for a woman like their friends were doing.
And each guy had a different sticking point he wanted to conquer.
That's when Neil unleashed his "Las Vegas" system, which is the first phase of the Annihilation Method. I'm sworn to secrecy about this system, but Neil had all five guys participate in it, and it gave them an entirely new perspective on who they were, and what they needed to improve.
The stage had been set, and the groundwork for Annihilation had been laid.
This alone was something that really amazed me. One of the biggest problem guys have is not having a clear picture of what they need to improve. They just get hung up on what they feel is wrong with them (like being fat, bald, ugly, etc.), but not at what REALLY is keeping them back.
The Las Vegas system changed that, and now the Final Five had a clear picture of where they needed to go next.
Neil then unveiled the Annihilation Method's 4-step model of attraction. It is:
1. Open
2. Demonstrate Value
3. Create An Emotional Connection
4. Create A Physical Connection
Simple enough, right?
But when Neil actually started breaking down what made up each phase, things got more in-depth than even I could imagine.
The rest of the first day of seminar material was spent entirely on how to open. You could really see Neil light up as he started talking about this subject, and his enthusiasm for the material was infectious. I could literally start to see the student's eyes widen at the knowledge they were getting.
Seriously, light bulbs were going off over their heads as Neil explained the intricacies of opening women.
The coolest thing he talked about was his method of "calibration." This is about reading the dynamic of the group or the women you're approaching, and knowing what you have to do next - even if it's something you've never done before.
Now I realize why Neil is so good. It's his calibration skills. It's his ability to size up a situation, figure out where the girl is mentally and emotionally, and then adjust his game to that specific girl in order to get her.
And the cool thing is: HE TAUGHT EXACTLY HOW TO DO THIS!
Step-by-step. He broke it down by telling you the three responses to look for in a woman that will tell you how to adjust your game, and the tactics you can use to seduce her.
He also talked about how to figure out who the woman is and what she's about, quickly, so you can adjust your game accordingly.
By teaching this set of calibration skills, Neil was giving the Final Five the exact method they needed to seduce ANY WOMAN they want - consistently and effectively.
I was in awe.
I had never seen seduction or pick up taught like this before, and neither had the Final Five, who were as busy scribbling notes as I was.
And the really cool thing is, Neil shared his secret on how to get feedback from the women you pick-up so you know what you did that works and what doesn't!
Through this learning method, anyone could become phenomenal in the field.
Neil then went in depth on different types of openers, how to deliver them, and 16 general principles of opening.
A lot of this stuff I already knew, but Neil actually took the time to train his students on how to properly do an opener (which is different from most other workshops, who just throw you right out into the field from the start).
Each guy was nervous as he demonstrated his opener for Neil, and a few fumbled with it. But Neil gave them feedback that got them back on track and made them comfortable with their delivery.
He then went over these concepts:
1. What to do after the opener
2. Wingman rules
3. Role-playing
4. Push-pull
5. Pebbles
Now for those of you wondering what the hell "Pebbles" are, it's an awesome new concept Neil has that's a big part of the Annihilation Method. They're similar to "NEGs" in a way, but they're used to amp up fun, excitement, and interest in your pick-up.
Basically, the concept is that when things start dragging during a set (or when you want to amp things up), you toss these "pebbles" to hit your target in the head and get their attention. It's a strategy that's brilliant in it's simplicity, and highly effective.
The seminar portion ended with Neil and the Final Five going over 22 different Pebbles Neil had invented.
After the seminar ended, the group prepared for the workshop portion of the day. Neil's girlfriend Lisa took Zone and did a quick make-over with him. His long black hair with the thinning widow's peak made him look greasy and old. She gave him a quick haircut so he had a nice, short, trimmed head of hair, and the difference was remarkable. The guy looked 10 times better than he had before, all with a simple hair cut.
Then the Final Five were whisked back to the Standard to change for a night of clubbing.
The first stop was a trendy nightclub in the Highlands complex on Hollywood Boulevard called "Lucky Strike," which claim to fame was the fact that in addition to being a cool restaurant/bar, it was also a freakin' BOWLING ALLEY.
(Seriously, Hollywood has this weird thing about turning strange businesses into nightclubs. There's a beauty salon and shoe store that moonlight as nightclubs too.)
This is where the Final Five got their first taste of cold approaching Annihilation Method-style.
I was along on the ride as a co-instructor for the workshop. One of the reasons there were only five people allowed in the seminar is because Neil wanted to give all the guys a lot of personal attention. But he asked me to help out since this is one of my areas of expertise.
At Lucky Strike, I started pushing guys into sets. Basically, I'd ask them what their opener was, pick a set for them, send them in, then give them feedback on how to improve.
My first "victim" was Indiana. He had three false-starts before he had the courage to open his first set. Lucky for him, Neil came by to wing for him.
I did the same for Rourke, Outback, Zone, and Wiseguy (though Wiseguy seemed to be more of a natural than the others).
Neil had started a bet on the limo ride to the club that the first guy to get a number would win $100. So as the guys got more into approaching, the competition started heating up.
Lucky Strike was pretty dead for a Friday night, though. So there weren't that many good sets available. Most guys ended up opening sets some other student had opened earlier.
But the response of the Final Five was remarkable.
Shy old Outback was approaching some great sets, and he even pulled off probably the hardest opener of the night by opening a two-set of girls who were eating, and then joining them at their table!
Rourke and Zone were also getting in the groove of things, and each approached three sets.
Indiana was the most remarkable change. He was grinning ear-to-ear and walked with a new-found confidence. I joked with him about his sudden change, and he burst out "I never knew it was so easy to meet women!"
But the best was yet to come.
The next stop was at a place called Spider Club, which is a club above another club called Avalon, which is on Vine Street.
This is one of the hippest clubs in LA, and now I know why. The women here were GORGEOUS.
Seriously, we're talking L.A. quality 10s here.
Neil had arranged a VIP table at the club, along with bottle service. So even though we had a large group of guys around us, we had some super-high status going in (seriously, we just bypassed everyone waiting in line to get in. It was awesome).
Once we got situated at our table, all hell broke loose.
And I mean that in a good way!
The meek guys who I had met that morning had suddenly transformed into APPROACH MACHINES.
Something just seemed to click in all five guys. It was amazing. I had never seen anything like it happen in a workshop before.
Guys who earlier in the day could not talk to women or do a single cold approach were now using the Annihilation Method to meet some of the hottest women in LA.
Rourke opened a three-set of Latina girls who he brought to our table. Others went off to open some more sets, while a few took Rourke's lead and started merging sets and bringing girls over.
Things started getting wild. The Final Five were having a blast, dancing, sarging, laughing. Neil and I were amazed at how fast everyone was coming along.
Before we knew it, these guys were isolating targets and pawning groups off of groups. Each guy approached 12-15 sets over the course of a night.
The final count at the end of the night was:
Rourke - 1 phone number (he won the $100 because he was the first to get one), had a girl grinding on his lap most of the night.
Indiana - 1 phone number
Zone - 15 sets opened, and was dirty dancing most of the night
(turns out he didn't get a number because he wasn't sure on how to
ask for one, but he could have gotten many if he knew to ask)
Outback - 2 numbers
Wiseguy - An in-club make-out, also got 2 phone numbers
Every single one of them were beaming with a newfound confidence that can only come with success. Neil had achieved his goal. Each guy had tasted success with women for the first time, and their confidence had grown.
Neil and I were impressed. I'd never been to a workshop that had that much success in one night. All my fears about these guys had vanished, and I knew Neil had picked the right ones to pass his knowledge onto.
The funny thing was, Neil had only revealed a FRACTION of his Annihilation Method that day. If these guys were able to take that and have this kind of success in one night, I couldn't imagine what they'd do with the WHOLE system.
But I was soon to find out...
(To be continued...)
Sunday, December 11, 2005
How To Get A Girl For Less Money
From the Mailbag of Art of Approaching author Joseph Matthews
>>>>>QUESTION FROM A READER:
Dear Joseph,
Greetings and best wishes to you this day. Thank you for your advise. Pls I need your assistance because I know I have a problem to get a woman of my choice.
I have money and I address fine but any woman that comes to me will hate me, I dont know if it is because I dont chat with them because I dont know how to chat with a woman.
Pls help me with some advice because I have been trying make any woman that comes to me happy by given them anything they requested from me but I still found out that they dont love me.
Furthermore, I have a woman who promise me that she will not cheat on me because I care for her alot but she will never ask me to make sex with her unless I requested but if I didn`t request, he might stay up to a month without having sex with me, pls I need your advice if this is real love and she does`t cheat on me.
Dear Thundercat, pls advice me on what to do because I am shy even to my follow men because I dont feel confortable meeting woman and men so I also stay alone.
Pls I need your advice.
Finally, I am in Abidjan Cote d`ivoire west africa and I have been to several book shop to buY the book (THE ART OF APPROACHING)but I cannot see the book at book store.
Thanks
Amarachukwu
>>>>>>>>>>MY RESPONSE:
Hi Amarachukwu,
First off, don't look at these women as "hating" you. Just look at them as women who haven't gotten to know you yet. When faced with a choice of looking at something as a negative, always try to reframe it in your mind as a positive. That is an essential trick to keeping your self esteem high.
What it sounds like you're doing (and I know English isn't your native language, so forgive me if I misinterperet) is trying to buy your way into a woman's pants, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of because you want to get a girlfriend.
This is actually VERY typical situation among men, so don't feel bad. You're not alone. Even I have fallen into this trap in the past. Just remember this one key point when it comes to women:
Only give them what they want, if you're getting what YOU want!
It took me a while to figure this one out, but it's a very important concept once you grasp it. If you want a certain girl to be your girlfriend, only invest in her what she's willing to give back.
For instance, if she wants a fur coat, but she isn't willing to kiss you yet -- DON'T BUY HER A FUR COAT! And tell her "Oh man, if you were my girlfriend, I'd buy you that coat right now." Let her know the "cost of doing business," so to speak.
See, girls get really used to getting something for nothing (especially if they're beautiful). And guys get in the habit of getting nothing for everything. You must BREAK that habit if you want to succeed with women. Believe it or not, women respect men who don't bow down to their every whim! If you show them you're not treating them like a queen, they'll treat you like a king.
I always like to follow these rules when it comes to dating:
* Never spend any money on a woman you're not sleeping with.
* Never spend more than $60 on a date.
* If after 3 dates, nothing is happening, it's time to move on
(3 strikes, and she's OUT!)
These three simple rules will save you a TON of time and money when you're in the dating scene.
As for women promising not to cheat, don't get hung up on that. Most women will cheat on you, that's just how it is. But instead of getting them to "promise" not to cheat on you (because when you do that, you're displaying insecurity and lowering you're value by "begging"), you need to TELL the woman you're with what you're not willing to put up with.
Tell her flat out: If you ever cheat on me, you're gone.
Let her know you want a woman who will be faithful, and if she's not willing to do that, you'll dump her and find another woman.
This way of thinking can be VERY powerful.
You're letting her know you don't need her, and that she has to do what YOU want if she wants the benefits of being with you!
And if she doesn't, despite what you may believe -- that's a good thing! Let her go, because it will save you a TON of time, money, and heartache in the long run. Why would you want to be with a woman who's unfaithful to you? Just set the boundaries, and stick to them.
As for the Art Of Approaching, you won't find it in any bookstore anywhere. It's exclusively available online! A book this helpful to men would NEVER be published and sold in real bookstores, because society just would not allow it. The Oprahs of the world would condemn it, because it teaches men not only how to meet beautiful women, but how to empower themselves! And the feminists wouldn't want that now, would they?
After all, who'd buy them all the free stuff that they don't have to do anything for? =)
If you haven't downloaded my book yet, what are you waiting for?
You can start meeting tons of women today by clicking below:
Website
This book goes into great detail on how to improve your ability to create the life you want for yourself! If you're unhappy, don't delay. Download the book right now!
Good luck,
Joseph Matthews
>>>>>QUESTION FROM A READER:
Dear Joseph,
Greetings and best wishes to you this day. Thank you for your advise. Pls I need your assistance because I know I have a problem to get a woman of my choice.
I have money and I address fine but any woman that comes to me will hate me, I dont know if it is because I dont chat with them because I dont know how to chat with a woman.
Pls help me with some advice because I have been trying make any woman that comes to me happy by given them anything they requested from me but I still found out that they dont love me.
Furthermore, I have a woman who promise me that she will not cheat on me because I care for her alot but she will never ask me to make sex with her unless I requested but if I didn`t request, he might stay up to a month without having sex with me, pls I need your advice if this is real love and she does`t cheat on me.
Dear Thundercat, pls advice me on what to do because I am shy even to my follow men because I dont feel confortable meeting woman and men so I also stay alone.
Pls I need your advice.
Finally, I am in Abidjan Cote d`ivoire west africa and I have been to several book shop to buY the book (THE ART OF APPROACHING)but I cannot see the book at book store.
Thanks
Amarachukwu
>>>>>>>>>>MY RESPONSE:
Hi Amarachukwu,
First off, don't look at these women as "hating" you. Just look at them as women who haven't gotten to know you yet. When faced with a choice of looking at something as a negative, always try to reframe it in your mind as a positive. That is an essential trick to keeping your self esteem high.
What it sounds like you're doing (and I know English isn't your native language, so forgive me if I misinterperet) is trying to buy your way into a woman's pants, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of because you want to get a girlfriend.
This is actually VERY typical situation among men, so don't feel bad. You're not alone. Even I have fallen into this trap in the past. Just remember this one key point when it comes to women:
Only give them what they want, if you're getting what YOU want!
It took me a while to figure this one out, but it's a very important concept once you grasp it. If you want a certain girl to be your girlfriend, only invest in her what she's willing to give back.
For instance, if she wants a fur coat, but she isn't willing to kiss you yet -- DON'T BUY HER A FUR COAT! And tell her "Oh man, if you were my girlfriend, I'd buy you that coat right now." Let her know the "cost of doing business," so to speak.
See, girls get really used to getting something for nothing (especially if they're beautiful). And guys get in the habit of getting nothing for everything. You must BREAK that habit if you want to succeed with women. Believe it or not, women respect men who don't bow down to their every whim! If you show them you're not treating them like a queen, they'll treat you like a king.
I always like to follow these rules when it comes to dating:
* Never spend any money on a woman you're not sleeping with.
* Never spend more than $60 on a date.
* If after 3 dates, nothing is happening, it's time to move on
(3 strikes, and she's OUT!)
These three simple rules will save you a TON of time and money when you're in the dating scene.
As for women promising not to cheat, don't get hung up on that. Most women will cheat on you, that's just how it is. But instead of getting them to "promise" not to cheat on you (because when you do that, you're displaying insecurity and lowering you're value by "begging"), you need to TELL the woman you're with what you're not willing to put up with.
Tell her flat out: If you ever cheat on me, you're gone.
Let her know you want a woman who will be faithful, and if she's not willing to do that, you'll dump her and find another woman.
This way of thinking can be VERY powerful.
You're letting her know you don't need her, and that she has to do what YOU want if she wants the benefits of being with you!
And if she doesn't, despite what you may believe -- that's a good thing! Let her go, because it will save you a TON of time, money, and heartache in the long run. Why would you want to be with a woman who's unfaithful to you? Just set the boundaries, and stick to them.
As for the Art Of Approaching, you won't find it in any bookstore anywhere. It's exclusively available online! A book this helpful to men would NEVER be published and sold in real bookstores, because society just would not allow it. The Oprahs of the world would condemn it, because it teaches men not only how to meet beautiful women, but how to empower themselves! And the feminists wouldn't want that now, would they?
After all, who'd buy them all the free stuff that they don't have to do anything for? =)
If you haven't downloaded my book yet, what are you waiting for?
You can start meeting tons of women today by clicking below:
Website
This book goes into great detail on how to improve your ability to create the life you want for yourself! If you're unhappy, don't delay. Download the book right now!
Good luck,
Joseph Matthews
Tuesday, December 6, 2005
Always Try And Be 'Best' Yourself
I heard something from one of Thundercats mailing list that you might like.
He was talking about Neil Strauss's recent training session of the 'Final Five' (a group that Neil personally selected from over 500 applicants).
Anyways...
This is what was in the email:
It's interesting how we all try and find the easiest ways to do things in life usually.
Well its the same in the seduction community. We use cookie cut openers, etc to try and get further with women.
I like what Neil said that you shouldn't just be yourself, but you should be your best self.
The book that has revolutionized my thinking about this part of my life, and also MOST areas of my life has been Double Your Dating. David does a great job of talking about this, he even provide a list and mentions through his reference book, and even provides methods he himself has personally used. You can get a free trial of the e-book at David's site here.
Apart from that, I noticed today when I was in my marketing class, chatting to this super hot brunette snowboarder chick. You gotta be yourself, and be the best you can be. It sounds like the army right? Well there not far off.
Keep it real.
Donovan
He was talking about Neil Strauss's recent training session of the 'Final Five' (a group that Neil personally selected from over 500 applicants).
Anyways...
This is what was in the email:
"He talked about how he spent two years hanging out with pick-up
artists, and say some improve rapidly, and others flounder and go
nowhere. He talked about the biggest mistakes guys make when
trying to learn seduction. He pointed out that the two biggest
mistakes are:
Just be yourself
And...
Be confident.
He explained that you shouldn't just "be yourself," you should be
your best self. He elaborated that who we are is often a poor
representation of who we really are or who we want to be.
He also said that just "being confident" is impossible without
success. Success breeds confidence, and he wants to teach how to
have success so his students can gain REAL confidence."
It's interesting how we all try and find the easiest ways to do things in life usually.
Well its the same in the seduction community. We use cookie cut openers, etc to try and get further with women.
I like what Neil said that you shouldn't just be yourself, but you should be your best self.
The book that has revolutionized my thinking about this part of my life, and also MOST areas of my life has been Double Your Dating. David does a great job of talking about this, he even provide a list and mentions through his reference book, and even provides methods he himself has personally used. You can get a free trial of the e-book at David's site here.
Apart from that, I noticed today when I was in my marketing class, chatting to this super hot brunette snowboarder chick. You gotta be yourself, and be the best you can be. It sounds like the army right? Well there not far off.
Keep it real.
Donovan
Saturday, December 3, 2005
A New Model of Attraction
Wow, I just found a great article explaining Attraction and Value. This is amazing fellas. Read. (This is pretty intense, if your new to attracting women using techniques, perhaps don't read it)Attraction Defined in a Precise Way to Empower You to Generate Attraction From Any Woman
A definition of attraction - and a way to consistently to get attraction from any girl - is long overdue. Perhaps the two most missunderstood parts of the community are attraction and one of the pieces of it, value.
I'll set the record straight, and give you a gameplan for how to attract any woman in the world, as well as give specific examples of how attraction works. Since many people are familiar with it, I picked Neil Strauss' New York Times Bestseller The Game for my examples on how attraction works - I'll use a few excerpts from the book to explain how this all works.
Attraction is something desireable to someone, that much is obvious. But to create the kind of real, almost-tangible attraction that'll cause a woman to sleep with you, you need two components:
The Two Components of Attraction Are Value and Deservedness.
I will explain both.
"Value" is value for her life, based on her perceptions. What is valuable is unique to every single person, but pattern of what is valuable can easily be seen. Some things are almost always seen as valuable, and some things are almost always seen as detrimental to value. But the value of any given thing to a person is different for that person than another.
What does this mean? A giant script will not appeal to every single woman. At best, a script can mass-appeal to a man's target audience. Many sorority girls might have similar value for each other, so if you wanted that demographic, a script that's useful on many could be devised. But for broader categories, like "college girls", you'll need knowledge of how value works for different people.
There are many traits that are almost universally valuable (and thus, attractive). These should be almost universally developed, so that you're perceived as having them with minimal effort on your part. This includes confidence, charisma, leadership, intelligence, quick wit, sharp instincts, health, wealth, a strong sense of survival, purpose, adaptability, and so on. Very, very, very few women find these traits unattractive, so it's in every man's best interest to appear to have these.
This can be done in one of three ways.
1. Develop the trait: If you become confident, you will appear confident. If you become healthy, you will appear healthy. Et cetra.
This is the path that takes the longest to achieve out of the three, but is the easiest once you've achieved it.
2. Develop the appearance of the trait: "A prince need not possess princely qualities. He merely needs the appearance of princely qualities." - Niccolo Machiavelli
Machiavelli is largely right. If you're not confident, nor a leader, it is still in your best interest to develop the body language and walking patterns of a confident leader. This will give you the appearance of these things, the benefit of which is twofold: You'll be perceived as having the quality (useful in your immediate interactions) and by being perceived as having it, you might actually develop the quality ("fake it 'till you make it" at work). Developing the appearance of a quality you don't have is actually a great way to help develop that quality.
3. Demonstrate you have the quality any time the occasion arrises. This is the fastest way to show one person you have a trait about you, but the least efficient way to show the world you have a quality. A good example for this would be kino: It demonstrates you're comfortable with yourself and comfortable around others (among other things).
If a man wants to demonstrate he's comfortable with himself and around others, one way might be to kino. After he achieves a base proficiency in kinesthetic interaction (kino, touching other people in a normal way), he can do so consciously to appear to be comfortable with himself and around others.
Over time, his kino will become automatic. At his point he's developed the appearance of the trait, and most people he will meet will perceive him as comfortable with himself and around others.
Finally, if he allows his belief system to develop, he'll come to actually be comfortable with himself and around other people. At this point, no conscious technique or tactic is necessary: He has simply become a person who is comfortable with himself and around others. Because this is a universally attractive trait, he is now always a more attractive man and he knows it.
Outside of universally attractive things are things that are attractive to specific women. A gold-digger wants money and status. A 28-year old working professional may be looking for a stable husband/father type man. A 34-year old divorcee may be looking for a feeling of youth and excitement. A young girl may want maturity OR want fun and popularity. Or both.
What any given woman wants is different based on the woman. But you can make generalizations. I always ask students what type of relationships they're looking for, and what their "type" is. Age, ethnicity, nationality, and social class are all ways that you can make an intelligent guess about what is attractive to a woman. It's why many pick-up artists have to adjust their techniques when moving to a new location. Even in the same nation, such as the cities of Atlanta and New York City, there are some differences in what the majority of people are looking for.
That said, fine-tuning your game to your "type" is great, but a master's proficiency in pickup will let you adjust what you're demonstrating to the specific girl you're with - and know exactly what to demonstrate.
Cultivating Deservedness:
Part of attraction is value. A large part. If you appear to have no value for her life, something that she'd specifically want, than it doesn't matter how much of the second part, deservedness, you cultivate.
But it is relatively easy to appear to have value. If you have even some semblance of "a life" then you've got some value. If you do some basic things to improve your life (or alternatively, the appearance of having improved your life) then value won't be your problem.
Attraction is not exclusively value. Value is a part of attraction, and necessary for it, but the second necessary component for attraction is deservedness.
Deservedness is broken into two parts: Attainability, and effort. Both require a comprehensive explanation and guidelines on how to produce these feelings in a woman.
Attainability, first, may confuse some. In all of life, people seem to strive for the unattainable. Something just a step beyond them.
But these things always seem to have some attainability to them. Think about it like this: While you may enjoy looking at a centerfold in a magazine, you are more likely to fall madly in love with the girl next door. Though a centerfold prompts a lot of physical attraction in you, you do nothing to actually GET the centerfold (well, most people...).
This comes down to an important concept called the Auto-Rejection Mechanism. In short, if someone believes they have no chance, they won't try. It's the reason master pick-up artists often struggle trying to pick up ugly girls: The girls have no sense of entitlement, so they don't let themselves get attracted and get hurt.
You can see examples with people aiming for a bit more than they have, too. The people that get very attracted to wanting a yacht are people that can either afford it or come close. Rarely will you see someone that is very poor strongly desire a yacht. Since it does not have attainability in their mind, they can not be seduced by the idea.
The second part of deservedness is effort. Specifically effort the woman puts in.
This is all based on the Cost-Value Conception. In short, Cost-Value says this: You will value something that costs a lot over something that costs little, largely irrospective of their real value. If you've ever won a stuffed animal at an amusement park or carnival, you know what I'm talking about. While you might not even take one for free if they're handing them out on the street as a promotion, by winning it at the carnival (putting in effort and probably more money than thing is worth) it gains a lot of value. The cost determines the value.
When a woman is forced to work for something, she will want it more. However, in the beginning, if she sees it as unattainable, she likely won't want it. This is largely true of men, too. While a man might like and desire a beautiful woman he sees passing, or a model, he's more likely to grow very attached to a woman he had sex with who broke up with him, or a woman who keeps saying she really likes him as a friend.
To make someone attracted to you, you simply need to have value and for them to feel deservedness. For value, you need value for their life. There are universally valuable/attractive things like confidence, charisma, health, wealth, loyalty, faith in oneself, purpose, fun, leadership, survival ability, and so on, there are also traits that are more or less valuable/attractive at different points in a woman's life. Some of these, like wealth and fun, are universally good but are larger priorities for some women than others. Other characteristics, like danger, eccentricity, risk-taking, and so on may be very attractive to certain women, but unattractive to others. It is a sad testament that even many traits that are mostly UNattractive are attractive to certain people, such as abuse and control. These people are mentally unhealthy, and though I advise you to stay away from them, it's worth noting that sometimes negative traits may be attractive to certain types of women at certain points in their lives.
For deservedness, make sure they feel you are attainable. This would mean not demonstrating all kinds of value to them without them knowing why: This makes you look desperate most of the time, but the worst part is that it can make many normal women feel insecure and that you're unattainable even when you do it well! Solid screening and qualifying can increase their sense of your attainability if you know how to target your questions and responses. The "special advantage" that Vincent is always talking about making her feel like she has is another good way.
The second part of deservedness is having her put in effort. If a woman works for a man, even just a bit, she'll be more attracted to him and want him more. Over time, you can use this to change the compliance scales between you two and make sure you keep getting compliance out of her. The result will be that she feels she's earned you and wants to keep you. If you continue to bed a woman for long periods of time, and she isn't helping you build your lifestyle, then you may run into problems where she isn't putting in enough effort and doesn't feel like she's worked for you, and therefore deserves you. So she loses attraction.
Examples from The Game by Neil Strauss:
I choose The Game by Neil Strauss as a teaching tool for this article. It's a cool read, and instead of using anecdotes from my own life of which I'm obviously biased, I can use a well-known good guy and objectively point out why people are or aren't attracted to each other in the book. I'll use some short excerpts and reference the page numbers, so y'all can read up the background at home if you have a copy.
On pages 312-317, Neil starts doing an interview of Britney Spears, a very coveted celebrity. He gets her phone number in a feat of true prowess, but is waffling on calling her.
THE GAME PAGE 317:
<<<<<<<<<<< "Just call her," Mystery constantly prodded me. "What do you have to lose? Tell her, 'Can you not look like Britney Spears? We're going to do some crazy shit, and we can't get caught. We're going to wear wigs, climb up to the Hollywood sign, and touch it for good luck."
"If I had met her socially, fine. But this is a work assignment."
"You're playing the game at another level now. When the article is finished, it isn't an assignment anymore. So call her."
But I couldn't do it. If it had been Dalene Kurtis, the Playmate of the Year, I would have called her back in a second. I had no fear of women like that anymore. I felt worthy. I'd proven that over and over since meeting her. But Britney Spears?
One's self-esteem can only grow so much in a year and a half.
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MY COMMENTS:
You see Neil deciding against calling her because he thinks she's unattainable. The telltale lines are, "I had no fear of women like that anymore. I felt worthy." (shows he feels Dalene Kurtis is attainable to him) And "One's self-esteem can only grow so much in a year and a half." (shows he doesn't think Britney is attainable)
Now, if Britney had wanted Neil, she could have fostered a sense of attainability about herself for him. A phone call or two, or perhaps something akin to some of the techniques we use to ground herself as an average person beneath all the celebrity. And if she had done that, Neil would have became much, much attracted to her than he was.
***
Towards the end of The Game, Neil becomes very attracted - and eventually goes completely exclusive for - a woman named Lisa. What did Lisa have that the other girls didn't? Well, she had value for his life, being beautiful, intelligent, and with a better personality than most of the girls Neil has met. And since Neil is a top-notch Pick-Up Artist, he feels all women are attainable: He's unlikely to feel an Auto-Rejection Mechanism except on the most elite of celebrities.
But what about work? At this point in the book, Neil is used to getting huge amounts of compliance from the women in his life. He runs his game for a while and they like it. He phase-shifts and kisses them. They begin to fall ga-ga for them, and if necessary, he uses his techniques to blast LMR and bed them. When and how he pleases.
THE GAME PAGE 365
<<<<<<<<<<>
"I'm not kissing you," she barked.
The words scalded my face like hot coffee. There was no girl I couldn't kiss within a half hour of meeting her. What was her problem?
I froze her out and tried again. Nothing.
It is in these moments that, as a PUA, you start to question the work you've done on yourself. You begin to worry that maybe she sees the real you, the one who existed before the silly nickname, the one who wrote poems about this exact situation in high school.
I delivered a moving, impassioned performance of the evolution phase-shift routine. Somewhere in the distance, I heard a thousand PUAs applauding.
"I'm not biting you," she said.
I wasn't through. I told her the most beautiful love story ever written: "On Seeing the 100 Percent Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning" by Haruki Murakami. It is about a man and a woman who are soul mates. But when they doubt their connection for a moment and decide not to act on it, they lose each other forever.
She was ice cold.
I tried a hardcore freeze-out: I blew out the candles, turned off the music, turned on the lights, and checked my email.
She climbed into my bed, curled up under the covers, and went to sleep.
I finally I joined her, and we slept on opposite ends of the bed.
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MY COMMENTS:
There is no doubt at this point in the book that Lisa will end up with Style if she wants him. She has value for his life, he feels she is attainable to him, but he will be made to work for it. If he "catches" her in the end, he will be astronomically more attracted to him than if she had bedded him that evening.
The old addage that a woman must make her man wait to have her for him to respect her isn't necessarily true. But it is one of the simplest and easiest ways of making a man work to get her and become more attracted.
The only way, the absolutely only way Lisa could lose Neil at this point in the novel is for his sense of attainability to fall off. This would be a difficult proposition, but because Style is a man of some character and self-esteem, he won't hang around forever if she makes it clear she won't be his. The value is there. He's worked for her. Now, if she keeps herself appearing attainable, she can have him when she likes him.
THE GAME PAGE 368:
<<<<<<<<<<>
Maybe I just wasn't her type. I imagined her with tattooed, muscle-bound, leather-jacketed Danzig types, not a scrawny metrosexual guy who had to take pickup workshops. She was killing me.
For the first time since I'd learned the word one-itis, I knew that I was doomed. No one ever gets his one-itis. He gets too clingy and needy and blows it. And, sure enough, I blew it.
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MY COMMENTS:
At this point, Neil is questing whether she's attainable or not. And then when she blows him off later, leaving him at the airport with a limo, liquor, and a fancy date planned, his sense of her attainability is near-gone. He continues to pursue her, but details on page 372 that he leaves a message for her and she doesn't call back.
Neil does his thing, and goes on a little tear of his own, sleeping with a bunch of different women. He thinks of Lisa from time to time, but you can even see what happens in the pacing of the book: There's barely a mention of her for the next 24 pages as he talks about sleeping with other women and all the ProHo drama. Though no one can be sure, pick-up artists would like to think Neil didn't spend all his time pining over Lisa in the days that passed until he ran into her again. Though this will happen occasionally with women, most of the time high self-esteem men won't think constantly over a one-itis once the sense of attainability is gone. At the very least, they're unlikely to take rational action unless the woman first makes a move of her own.
Which Lisa does, incidentally. If you've read the book, you know what happens. She shows up in her convertible, and Neil is ecstatic. She expresses interest in him on page 396 and his sense of her attainability is back.
THE GAME PAGE 410:
<<<<<<<<<< [Strauss:] "So what made you drive up the hill the other day to see me again?"
[Lisa:] "while you were gone, I realized how much I missed you." I loved watching her lips part over her front teeth when she talked. It made me think of salmon on rice. "My friends were making fun of me because I was counting down the days until you came home. I actually went grocery shopping while you were gone so I could cook you food. I don't know why." She hesitated and smiled, as if she were offering information she'd never planned to divulge. "I bought a fresh piece of swordfish and had to throw it away because it went bad."
A warm flush of confidence filled my chest. So I still had a chance with this girl.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:
Neil, again, sees Lisa as attainable and you can actually see him immediately feel attraction! She says she misses him, and then he thinks about how much he loves watching her lips part over her front teeth. He analogizes it to salmon on rice.
This is going to lead to more effective seduction on her part: She likes him, and with all the work she's made him put in, she has a definite shot at exclusivity with a top-notch pickup artist if she wants it. Her own "game" is definitely top of the line.
The rest of pages 410 and 411 are provide even better examples. Why did Lisa act the way she did and lose attraction for Neil? She, herself, wasn't sure about his attainability. She was thankfully sure enough to reengage him, but there was a little mixup that caused her Auto-Rejection Mechanism to set in - and tell a guy that she liked that he had no chance.
She's not rejecting Neil, she's rejecting HERSELF! This is what happens when the sense of attainability is removed.
THE GAME PAGE 410
<<<<<<<<<< "But it's too late," she said. "The window was open with me, and you blew it."
David DeAngelo would have said to go cocky funny here. Ross Jeffries would have said not to buy into her frame. Mystery would have said to punish her. But I had to ask: "How did I blow it?"
"First off, you didn't call me when you came home from Miami. I had to go to you."
"Hold on. I thought you were blowing me off. You never even called while I was away."
"Well, your voice mail said you were out of town and you weren't receiving calls, so I didn't leave a message."
"Yeah, but I would have returned your call. I wanted to hear from you."
"Then you came to Whiskey Bar and hardly talked. And the last straw was when we went to your house to go surfing. I told Sam I was starting to like you again and she said, 'Get over it. When I went up to his room to use the bathroom, I found a used condom on the floor.'"
My brain leaped up and slapped itself. I had been careless: I'd forgotten to throw away the condom I'd used with Isabel. So that's what Sam and she were whispering about in the car on the way to Malibu.
"So then why did you agree to go out with me tonight?"
"You asked me out on a proper date. And you were a little nervous, so I figured you must really be into me."
I propped myself up on the pillows. I was about to say the most AFC thing of my life. "Let me tell you something. The pickup artists have a word they call one-itis. It's a disease that people get when they become obsessed with just one girl. And they never end up with this girl because they get too nervous around her and scare her away."
"So?" she asked.
"So," I said. "You're my one-itis."
We were looking each other in the eyes now. I could see hers sparkle. I knew mine were sparkling. It was time to kiss her.
There were no lines, no routines, no evolution phase-shift--I'd tried them all unsuccessfully anyway. I leaned in. She leaned in. Her eyes closed. My eyes closed. Our lips met. It was just like I'd always thought a kiss was supposed to begin.
For hours, we lay there making out and dissecting the connections and misunderstandings of the past few weeks.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:
You can see her ARM (Auto-Rejection Mechanism) in motion. "I told Sam I was starting to like you again and she said, 'Get over it. When I went up to his room to use the bathroom, I found a used condom on the floor.'"
"I told Sam I was starting to like you again" is a classic example of attraction rebuilding. Neil invites Lisa surfing, so Lisa thinks Neil is attainable. Attraction grows. But then Sam tells Lisa about the condom on the floor. Attainability fades. Attraction fades.
BUT, Neil Strauss is a man of exceptional character, and shows why he's been crowned one of the best pick-up artists of this era. Though he's not exactly sure why, he knows intuitively that David DeAngelo's advice is based on making her work for him, which isn't the answer. Ross and Mystery are suggesting to do things that demonstrate traits of independence and choice, which also isn't necessary.
So Neil opens up and shows Lisa he's attainable. He goes as far as to tell her that he's obsessed with her: And it works. The value for her life was there (Neil's a great guy with a good career and lots of interesting stuff going on). She's had to work for him, charming and seducing him. When he shows her that he's attainable to her, she falls for him.
Deciding to be faithful now, Strauss sets about dumping his other girlfriends.
THE GAME PAGE 411:
<<<<<<<<<< "So you're choosing her over me?" Isabel asked angrily.
"It's not an intellectual choice."
"Is she better in bed or something?"
"I don't know. We've only kissed."
"So you made out with some girl," she said, with a weak attempt at a cruel laugh, "and you want to get rid of me now."
"It's not that I want to get rid of you. I'd still like to see you, but as a friend." I could hear the word pierce her heart like a dagger, as it had my own heart so many times before I'd joined the community.
"But I love you."
How could she love me? She needed to go fuck a dozen other guys to get over her one-itis.
"I'm sorry," I said. And I was.
There is a downside to casual sex: Sometimes it stops being casual. People develop a desire for something more. And when one person's expectations don't match the other person's, then whoever holds the highest expectations suffers. There is no such thing as cheap sex. It always comes with a price.
>>>>>>>>>>
MY COMMENTS:
Neil, in a way, touches on value and working for someone here. Neil has more value for Isabel's life than Isabel has for Neil's life. And Isabel has worked harder for him (been more compliant for lower rewards, as per Vincent DiCarlo's Value/Compliance model) than he has for her. The two combined together means she feels she deserves him and is attracted to him - so of course it hurts. Many men that read this will understand how Isabel felt.
While it's not nearly as common for women to feel this pain as men, it does happen. She was attracted to him: Neil had value for Isabel's life, and she felt she deserved him (he was attainable because she had already been bedding him, she worked to get him by accepting terms she didn't like such as non-exclusivity).
Or I could be completely, totally off-base with my comments, and other stuff was going on.
Though I won't ruin the specifics, I'll let you know there is a happily-ever-after to this book, and Neil and Lisa do metaphorically ride off into the sunset together.
As for creating attraction in your own life, remember this formula:
Attraction = Value + Deservedness
Value is the value for her life. Cultivate the appearance of all universally attractive traits, and selectively demonstrate specific traits to specific women.
Deservedness is comprised of two elements. The first is attainability: If a woman thinks you are unattainable, her Auto-Rejection Mechanism will kick in. She'll blow you off so she doesn't feel hurt, and then backwards-rationalize it, halting attraction from growing and sometimes killing it all off. So you must let feel that you are potentially attainable. Conscious tactics for this include screening, qualifying, and making her feel like she has a special advantage. It can also be accomplished with looks and certain body language and tonality.
The second part of deservedness is the woman working to earn you, the cost/value conception. When someone works hard for something, they feel like it should be belong to them and it's to be prized. She'll feel like she deserves to be with you and she'll be attracted to you because of it.
Use these teachings wisely, friend. I documented some examples and you can see how negative emotions ran through some good people because of some missteps in attracting each other. These techniques can be a bit powerful and can mess with a woman's head, so do make sure to, as Neil puts it, not violate Ross Jeffries' only ethical rule of seduction: Leave her better than you found her.
Yours,
Sebastian Dimitri Drake
Swashbuckling Pick-Up Artist
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