Thursday, April 30, 2009

Dating Tips: Using Storytelling to Attract Women

Today I want to talk to you about a subject that I feel is very important and powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.

This subject is none other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.

Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered more in depth in Part II) I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.

Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.

Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.

Even if the women does not believe the story, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.

I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.

You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)

However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.

One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.

Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.

When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.

Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.

Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with prescripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.

Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.

This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.

What is storytelling and why is it important?

Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.

Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.

If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)

There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:

*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations

This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.

Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.

People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.

*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance

When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.

What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.

Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."

*Storytelling develops stronger social skills

This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.

*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.

There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.

Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.

Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.

If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.

This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.

Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.

Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.

So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.

Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.

This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.

Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.

Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.

I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.

Till then keep an eye out for the next letter and great ready to really take storytelling to the next level.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

13 Types of Girls you should Avoid

In general, men are looking first for physical attraction at a woman. Many of them consider that if she is beautiful and well dressed, its the perfect partner they are looking for. But they don't know that behind this appearance its hiding something worst.

Maybe this happened to you too. After you began a relationship with her you found out that she is not exactly what you want and what you expect. She hurt you and dumped you when you last expected. Many men are chasing after a woman who lied them and used them. But, in order to stop this, you should know from the beginning which types of girls you should avoid for to not be hurt again.


Desperate girl

-it is the type of the girl who spend all her life laid out, looking for a perfect life, and suddenly she discover that she gets old and she doesn't get married yet because she hasn't met the perfect man for her

-she wants desperately to get married no matter who the guy is or what he does

-she is pressed by the time and is ready to marry with a jerk as long as he has marriage material

-watch out because if you marry one of this, you have to spend the rest of your life with her


Materialistic girl

-usually is good looking and well dressed

-is looking very well outside but inside it is a bunch of money hungry taker

-she is looking all the time after boys which are staying very well with their wallet

-she expects that a man should finance her entire life just because she is biologically female

-she is very friendly, nice at the beginning but after some time you'll see that no matter how much you give her, she wants more

-she is greed personified

-she is interested only in what she wants and not others feelings

-stay away from this kind of girl because she will dumped you after she spend all your money


Angry girl

-she is the type of the girl which sees life like a battle

-anything what is happening or is told to her is seen as a insult at her address

-has also a bad opinion about man, sees only the wrong sides of a man

-she is always upset and angry

-usually she likes to take out of context everything what is said to her and to interpret the words like she wants

-you don't have any future with her, she has a simmering anger at men which can explode at any moment


Insecure girl

-she is very nice and treats men very well

-but she suffers by frustration

-is wracked by anxiety about making the wrong decision

-she has to think twice about what to do, what to wear, where to go, what to eat

-she needs constant reassurance that she's attractive and worries incessantly


Stupid girl

-this type of girl likes to speak a lot but she doesn't say nothing smart

-she likes to say always gossips about the others, but when you want to talk something important with her, she is not able to make conversation


Uptown girl

-she is very rich

-everything she has is better than yours and she wants to make sure that you know it

-she only dates the best of best

-is entirely focused on herself

-she is very selfish, self-indulgent grown up as '' daddy's little girl''

-needs to be constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes


Childish girl

-everything in life hurts this kind of girl

-is the type of girl who cries a lot, every innocent comment or criticism will upset her

-avoid this kind of girl because if you are dating one you will have to spend all the time apologizing even if you didn't make any mistake

-avoid also long term relationship with her because she is capable of suicide if you want to leave her and all the blame will be thrown on yourself


Elusive girl

-is the type of girl who is afraid to start a relationship

-she might be hurt in a past relationship and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present

-she look interested at the beginning but after a while she runs away

-is the type of girl who likes to send mixed messages so you'll never understand her


Talking girl

-it is a big difference between somebody who is able to make good conversation and have sense of humor , and somebody who always have to make a comment about everything

-it is the type which is very hard to please and always has to say something about everything is happening or speaking around her


Romantic girl

-this lives in her own world, of movies and romance novels

-she is very dreamy, imagining things, expecting Prince Charming to come after her

-she doesn't know how the real world is

-she was grown with the idea that she is a princess


Dragger girl

-this kind of girl will always make you feel bad even there is no reason to feel that

-it is always worrying and she can never be happy, everything around her is a total drag

-even if a wonderful thing happen to you, she will make you feel like it was the worst thing that could happen ever


Controlling girl

-she likes to have the total control in your relationship and on you too

-wants to control you in everything you do, you wear or eat

-if you try to control her too, she will get angry, cry, scream or use any deceptive female tactic until you give up


Flirting girl

-she flirts with anybody and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity

-has a big power of attraction

-exist the risk to dump you in any moment if somebody better comes along


With all these types of girls you should avoid, it is now more easy for you to make a good choice about your next girlfriend; but remember that not all the women are the same, maybe there is somewhere a good, carrying woman just for you.