Dos And Don'ts On The First Date

My experience during my first date was one to reckon with. I was sweating all through and it is an understatement to say the tension was so real i nearly jumped out of my own skin! All that i had planned to say or do vanished out of my mind. I was practically blank and an explained state of nervousness. I hope you can guess how i was. Surely, i could not face my date one more time. There were no follow ups because i could not imagine dating someone who saw me in such overwhelming confusion. A first date dictates a lot about the days to come. It gives the first impression of who you are and whether there are future prospects in the relationship. It is hard to know what to expect or whether something will come out of it. To turn your first date into a successful romantic relationship. Play your cards right! How do you do this?

One big mistake repeated over and again is the tendency of the dates to fake everything. Do not pretend what you are not because this will leave you frustrated at last. You are who you are by design and you should be proud of that it makes you special. Focus on your strong points and overlook your weaknesses. Many are the times people lie about this or the other to cover up for their small cracks in life. The big mistake would be even to concentrate on your weakness! Nobody will notice it if you do not dwell on it. If you are financially unstable, do not feign imaginary wealth because in your effort to impress you will end up put yourself in a more state of confusion. You will have already spoilt the broth! Remember this is your first date and your date will soon find out the truth. To continue in the relationship, you will certainly need to keep putting up faces. You know what that means? Untold suffering which would have been easily avoided. The stress and the hassles is not worth. Simply tell the truth to pursue a relationship further after the first date.

Relax! It is not a life test. Even if you are not lucky to get this particular person, then he/she was not meant for you. Approach your first date with a sober mind, avoid being over confident and again not too careless. Create a favorable environment for friendship such that you both exchange the necessary information at will. Avoid creating unnecessary tension in that environment. Avoid making the whole dating scene a monologue and or a situation that seem as if if you are gilling your date with questions. If this happens, both parties will be tired of the first date and will be looking forward to end the cumbersome meeting. This is not the expected outcome. To avoid the uninvited tension, smile often and control yourself. A well maintained charming smile will offer a solution and eliminate the crippling uneasiness.

Another habit which ruins a first date is the tendency to avoid questions. Answer the seemingly challenging questions wisely but do not overlook some of them. As the wise men advise us, when you avoid storms and rough waters, you will never make a skilled sailor. Answer the questions well, it might save you another day. Follow my advice and you will never go wrong.

Francis K. Githinji Is A Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project http://www.tomydate.com Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At http://www.tomydate.net/?p=119.

Being A Leader When Dating

What is leadership?

It is important to immediate communicate that YOU are the leader, not let and not let somebody else communicate that they are leading you! A lot of guys unfortunately and mistakenly place women on some level that they can not reach and therefore let the girl have total leadership and let them be in control of situations.

The reality is that the girl NEEDS what YOU have. Therefore YOU are the leader!

The one quality that communicates leadership, more so than everything else, is slight overconfidence.

Leadership = confidence.

Be overconfident in a charming and maybe even funny way. Don't be overtly arrogant unless you're dealing with someone who is being arrogant and overbearing.

-- Confidence" is a vague term. Confidence really means --not insecure." In other words, it means not being submissive and not seeking anyone else's approval, including women and others. Most people seek women's approval, and even other men therefore destroying confidence.

Confidence is seen in an outward way as having a calm, cool, smooth demeanor with relaxed, spread out body language. This really communicates confidence and a total lack of insecurity.

Leaders DO NOT seek anyone's approval! Say this to yourself: --I approve. You are the one who approves or disapproves of what is going on. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant because You are the one who judges. Repeat this often before going out to a bar or club.

Leadership = dominance.

Dominance simply means that YOU are in control, and others must comply with YOU.

Being dominant does not mean being domineering. Domineering is a sign of insecurity oe domineering people are trying to overtly control others. Dominant people do not overtly control or manipulate others; they control THEMSELVES and SITUATIONS.

Leadership = control.

Control means control over yourself and situations in which you find yourself. Others defer to you and your judgment.

Control does not mean to be controlling. Like domineering, controlling suggests insecurity. You should strive to be in control of yourself and situations, not to outwardly control other people.
Robert Torrey -Robert Torrey is one of the dating instructors for Attract and Date. Get a free video of students approaching women, and a free MP3 for destroying fears by subscribing to Attract and Date's newsletter. http://www.attractanddate.com/newsletterSubscribe.htm

Think Of It Like Dating

This particular marketing secret is one that is resisted by more people in business, and is also the very reason why many a business fails to generate the revenues they want and deserve.

Successful marketing is a process of building a relationship of value and trust through a series of sequenced-steps.

Think of it like dating. You would never ask someone to marry you on the first date, would you? Please, I hope not!

Marketing is like dating. You go on several dates to explore the possibility of starting a relationship. There is a sequence of steps in really getting to know a person.

So too with great marketing. The purpose then, is to get people to take a series of sequenced steps with you learning more about your expertise along the way and trusting more and more that you have the best service to offer them.

Here’s An Example:

Recently I took my BMW into a nearby dealership to have minor repairs done. As I pulled my car into their valet area, a man greeted me before I could even step out of my car saying, "A technician will be right with you. In the meantime would you just fill out your name and phone number on this form?"

Before I had the form completed the technician steps up and greets me, asking what my car's up to? Since, it's a small matter, they offer to fix it while I wait in the reception area with big screen TV's. I am offered bottled water and/or coffee.

A few minutes later a man comes in and tells me it will be less than $200 in repairs and I give him the ok to proceed. Less than 30 minutes later, the same man greets me with, "Your car is ready." I asked for my bill, which he replied, "There is no charge for today."

I LOVE this dealership by now.

As I am walking out, I hear another customer service man telling a customer, "Though your warranty has recently expired, we handled the repairs today at no charge to you." I drive away an ecstatic client.

Later, I am telling a friend the story of such exceptional service, mentioning, "When I am ready to buy a new car, there is no where else to go but back to this dealership. I feel obligated."

You see, with every sequenced-step of service this dealership offers its customers, they can take their results to the bank and they know it—it’s only a matter of time.

It's no wonder the woman who owns this company has been written up in Fortune Magazine. There is a thing called the Law of Reciprocity which states when you give first, people feel obligated to return the favor--often giving more in return. There is an unconscious need to even the score.

In marketing, statistics say that it takes at least 9, some even say 11 times, of reaching out to your prospects and customers before they will feel the urge to buy from you. When you combine the Law of Reciprocity with the Law of Repetition--now you have a powerful combination on your hands to increase your relationship-building opportunities and shorten your selling cycle.

So how can you combine both laws in your business to increase your revenues and sales results? You can start by giving people more value each time you reach out to them. Ask them what they need and want, and then give it to them in sequenced steps that lead them to becoming raving fans and life- long customers.

To Your Ultimate Success!

As a business strategy expert and 20-years of extensive work for legends Tony Robbins, Stephen Covey, John Gray, and Mark Victor Hansen, Carolyn now coaches ordinary people to extraordinary results. She helps you define your business and personal goals while discovering a deeper sense of fulfillment and confidence on the road to grabbing your dreams. Explode your business with Carolyn! Get her FREE Marketing Nuggets here!

Dating With Confidence

Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people. After all, you could be meeting your future spouse. It can also be a very vulnerable experience. The whole point of dating (usually) is to get to know someone else on an intimate level, or at least beginning this process. For whatever reason, and there are many, most people want to make a good first impression. At the very least, most people want to avoid rejection. Dating is a prime opportunity for this by its very nature. Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.

How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating? There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more appropriate for some people than others.

First Things First

A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes, you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date. Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you. The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself, not where it may or may not lead. Enjoy the time together, or, if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be single for the rest of your life.

Be Yourself

Yes, you've heard it many times before, and there's a reason for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're "faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up for very long anyway. So whatever your faults, try not to hide them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be something or someone you're not.

Get Out of Yourself

To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do--get to know someone else better. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and what type of impression you're making.

Try Something Different

If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity that keeps you moving. If you have something to do, you can focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you both feel more comfortable and confident.

Son Ngo is the editor at http://www.vkhowto.com, a community shared "How To" website on everyday tricks and tips. You can share your expertises and experiences to the world by submitting your article at the website.

Dating After 50

Today, there are over 30 million singles over the age of fifty. Rising divorce rates and longer life spans have caused a tremendous increase in the number of older singles. Almost forty percent of Americans over the age of fifty are single. Over half of these singles are reentering the dating scene.

As a person gets older, they become much more realistic in their expectations. Single adults over the age of fifty tend to be more flexible and unbiased in their searching. This age group is also the least likely to enter a relationship expecting something long-term.

Men and women over fifty are usually more emotionally stable than those who are younger. This makes the dating game a lot more fun. Break ups and heart breaks are more easily put into perspective rather than allowed to hinder the enjoyment of living life.

Joining back in the dating game after so many years can be quite intimidating. However, the fun and companionship is well worth the frightening leap. With so many advances and changes in the dating world, it is easier than ever to jump back in.

Many singles over fifty are attracted to the ease of meeting other singles online. The internet gives singles a non-threatening, relaxed way of meeting people from the comfort of their homes. It is an easy way to get to know one another before agonizing over a first date that may be a waste of time rather than an enjoyable evening. There are numerous websites available to place free dating classifieds and many of these are specifically for seniors.

Another popular way of meeting other older singles are specific interest groups. Book clubs, religious activities, and dinner clubs are a few of many social gatherings that can lead to great opportunities. Interest groups are a terrific way to make friends that share similar hobbies and views.

One of the biggest fears for singles over fifty is the thought of having to show their body to their partner. Everyone gains weight, wrinkles, stretch marks, and sags as they get older. It is important to be confident with yourself and remember that your partner has aged as well and is not expecting a teenage body.

The most important rule to remember when returning to the dating field is to have fun. Allow at least two years before starting to date again to prevent falling back into a serious relationship for comfort and habit. Then take your time, enjoy the companionship, and stay optimistic. Perfect relationships are not developed overnight.

Ron Zvagelsky has a degree in Business Administration from the University of Southern California. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in May 2006. He is currently the Chief Executive Officer of PlanJam – where you can find first date ideas.

Dating For What?

The word dating is derived from ‘date’. When they word “date” is uttered among youth it implies to much more than the date as a chronological reference to time in terms of time as we know and the calendar we follow. For the youth it means an appointment with a friend of opposite for an evening or night out.

For an adult ‘date’ has same meaning as the youth but it is not restricted to fun and holding hands and mumbling few niceties before the farewell. Adult dating implies to creating a space for love, romance or a long-term relationship and casual or pre-mediated hot, torrid sex encounter. Another negative aspect of dating on land is that anonymity cannot be maintained easily and squarely as you would like to at least in the initial stages.

The adult dating world is very complex and mired in confusion for many. The reason is that dating on land as such was a very frustrating affair as interaction with the opposite sex was restricted to social clubs, work place, community and few other outlets. Thus if within these venues you could not find a soul mate or a sex partner then you had to wait for eternity for that chance meeting (if ever) with a perfect person. Or catch hold of who ever you found near suitable and risk the chance of facing frustration in later period of life.

Internet has changed that, the fantastic information transmission and connectivity that it has ushered has brought about a paradigm shift in the way we date. Not only the way we date but even in our sexual attitudes and orientations. If you visit any online dating site you will realize as to how valid the above fact is. Browse the adult personals of any major dating service and you will realize how varied the expression of sexual desire and sexual preference is.

In a fast changing society the expression of word sex is no more a taboo. People now flaunt their sexuality more openly and are not afraid of experimenting with different lifestyles as is apparent in case of swinging among couples know as swingers or adult swingers. Swinger sex albeit not acceptable to traditionalist has brought about a revolution in sex lives of married couples. The aspect of sharing once wife or swapping partner for sex is now nothing new. One good look at swinger’s personals will make that apparent. Even as a single you can sex with swinger’s if acceptance is there – since there are many combinations that are popular among swingers from twosome sex to threesome sex and orgies. BDSM and fetishist also find there kind in these websites.

Similarly the alternate sex seekers like bisexual, gay and lesbians have surfaced evenly in Internet dating thanks to anonymity it provides to out personals in a world which still refers to homo sexuality as “queer”. There are now specific portal which are service providers for alternate sex seekers and are referred to as gay dating sites and lesbian dating site which are targeted on gay sex and lesbian sex.

Many portals offer the option of ethnic or religious dating on lines of your desire to date with a person of same faith or ethnicity or have interracial relationship.

You can virtually date anyone in the world as people can post their profiles on any dating service now along with their photos. You can interact with people you like using online chat or live webcams to get to know them better before you take the plunge of meeting them. This will take you to a long term relationship a matrimonial alliance or a rollicking sex date what ever you wish.

Hence when you visit an online dating site make sure of what you wish for and accordingly choose a site that is focused on singles dating, sex dating, gay lesbian or swinger’s sex or even just friendship. Then there are matchmaking services or adult friendfinders that are region specific in case you are looking for dating within your country or in a local area. There are portals which offer everything under one roof making your task easier.

Be careful there portals that offer everything and deliver nothing. They will cheat on your credit cards and most of the profiles posted would be fake or inactive. Prefer sites which give free registration thereby giving you a chance for exploring the site before you commit financially. In most of the trusted sites privacy, anonymity and safety is assured. Just be focused what kind of dating you are in for to have a successful online dating experience. BingO!

I am a freelance writer and journalist published many online adult dating articles related to swinging, tips for online dating, online dating and for dating sites. http://www.adultsinglesdating.co.uk http://www.adultswingerspersonals.co.uk

Go Carefully Into Dating

Whether you are fifteen or thirty-five, dating is something that should be thought about and done carefully. There are few if any areas of your life that you should proceed with as much caution in as dating.

Before anyone thinks of dating someone else, they should take some time to evaluate themself and their current life situation. Someone with large questions about who they are or about what want to do in life should be hesitant to enter into a dating situation. The more you know yourself and the better your life is before you begin dating, the better chance you have that dating will add to the quality of your life. Ask yourself hard questions about who you are and about the kind of dating relationship you hope to have.

It is equally important to consider carefully the kind of person that you hope to begin a dating relationship with. The more you know yourself, the better you will understand what kind of person or personality will best complement who you are in a dating relationship. We have all heard it said that "opposites attract," and in many cases this is true. So, for example, if you tend to be an outgoing person who loves attention, the chances are high that you should not begin dating someone with a similar personality. The person you choose to date should be someone that shares common interests and values with you. There is nothing better than dating the right person at the right time and for the right reason. However, there is equally nothing worse than dating the wrong person at the wrong time for the wrong reasons.

A third major thing to consider before you begin dating someone is your expectations for the relationship. It is always wise to enter a new relationship with an understanding of the things you expect both to give to it and to receive from it. Be honest with yourself in this process. If you expect to spend time with the person you are dating every single day, then you should let that person know your expectations from the start. Or if, perhaps, you are looking to date someone while continuing with other things in your life, then be honest about that upfront as well.

Dating can be one of the most fun and beneficial things in life. It is always wise to be thinking long term and big picture when you enter a dating situation. Do not start dating someone that you know for sure you could never marry and spend the rest of your life with. So take your time and answer some serious questions before you get yourself into a serious dating relationship and realize it is wrong.

Author Rachael Cleipher loves to give people of all ages advice about entering dating relationships with caution and with honesty. Learn more for yourself at www.datinggoods.info