The Dating Game: Bachelor #3

 

Was my crappy luck in the dating game over or was it about
to change?   My date with Bachelor #1 was
awkward, Bachelor #2 was a good date but I didn’t go home with him and as a
result there wasn’t a date number 2.  So,
was the third man going to be the charm? 

My first date with Bachelor #3 was a casual lunch get
together that didn’t really even feel like a date.  We met on Twitter, chatted back and forth and
made a last minute lunch “date”.    I’d
just come from a job interview, was in a suit and was still decompressing from
the pressure of being grilled.  Heck, how
much more pressure should I put on myself than to have a first date right after
an interview?  Sheesh that’s a big ol’
stress sandwich.  

I enjoyed our lunch conversation and it was effortless.  We instantly seemed comfortable with each
other, asked “get to know you” questions peppered with a lot of random humor.   This date wasn’t long after the full court
press that Bachelor #2 put on me and so having a funny conversation with a man
was a welcomed surprise.   After lunch,
we hugged and talked about getting together and I looked forward to that.  I had a great time, we connected and it was
so low key, exactly what I needed.

As the next couple of days went by, we kept in touch but he wasn’t
making typical aggresive male moves.  He
casually asked me on a date for the next weekend.   We set a date for a movie and met at the
theatre on Saturday night.  I was very
relaxed to see him, getting ready was stress free, although I fixed my makeup
and hair for a date, I didn’t think much about what to wear. 

We met up, exchanged quick hugs and bought our tickets.   We also bought the monster trough of
popcorn, large enough to feed a small third world country.   Seating was limited, but we made our way
inside the comfy theatre and settled in for the show.   We hadn’t broken any kind of physical date
contact barriers yet and I could sense he was contemplating making the typical
arm around the shoulder move or some other similar gesture.   So, we exchanged casual chit chat through
the previews while I imagined he was planning a move.

It felt comfortable being with him, maybe too comfortable if
that’s possible.  After the other recent
dates and having to feel like I was defending myself it was nice to not have to
worry.  We exchanged quiet chit chat
during the previews and I playfully snuck bites of his popcorn.  

I felt relaxed and being with him was incredibly easy.   Once the movie started, I made a joke about
how he could do the pretend yawn move so that he could put his arm around
me.   Maybe it was me being a control
freak or maybe I wanted to rescue him from wondering if was going to be
ok.   He seemed happy to have the “green light” and
he moved the arm rest between us so that I could snuggle closer. 

It struck me as a little odd having this intimate kind of
physical contact with someone before having our first kiss, but it also felt
comfortable, like slipping on a favorite sweater.   We saw an action movie and enjoyed reacting
to the plot twists with each other.    My
feet were tucked under me, comfortably and his arm rested casually around my
waist, touching the bare skin between the waist of my jeans and my blouse.  It was a sensual feeling and certainly wasn’t
out of bounds for us being on just a second date.  

Once the movie ended, we made plans to have dinner at the
Irish Pub a block away, a place I’ve spent many evenings and was the setting of
many fun and romantic memories for me.   He arrived first and claimed a table in the
cozy library room.    We ordered dinner and drinks and immediately started
talking.  For some reason, tonight’s
conversation was much more serious.  

He
talked about his divorce and some serious health challenges he endured.  I listened intently and shared a little about
some things I’ve been through as well.  
However, I wasn’t expecting the evening to have such a serious tone,
unlike our first date.   I tried to
inject some humor and I wasn’t sure I hit the mark of the levity I tried for
because it felt like I might have offended him with my joking. 

I enjoy real conversations and I surely don’t want to
participate in superficial ones, but I wasn’t prepared for tonight to be so
heavy.  I wondered if he felt like he
wanted to disclose these details in the name of honesty, as a confession
requirement for a relationship, or if it was just something he felt like he
needed to talk about.   Either way, I
appreciated that he felt like he could trust me with such personal information
but I wondered if he still had some healing to do from his divorce, I wasn’t
sure.    It was such a serious conversation
that it wasn’t conducive to my typical flirty moves and charm, so I was
beginning to question if there was an attraction, it was difficult to decode.

We both had light dinners, finished the conversation on a
positive note, and we decided to call it a night.  He put his arm around me as he walked me to
my car in the crisp fall air.   It felt
more relaxed and I was wondering if he’d kiss me as we walked along the
sidewalk.   I pointed out my car and we
stopped in front of it to exchange goodbyes. 
He towered over me by more than a foot and our long hug soon became a
longer kiss, and then several more.   We
kissed long and passionately under the stars. 
  

His arms reached tightly around my waist as he pulled me close
to him as his kisses became intense.   I
felt his hands graze over my ass as he cupped me tightly against him as we
kissed.    I enjoyed kissing him and I felt wanted, as
my attraction for him was starting to increase.   His passion intensified as he grabbed my
head while his kisses became hot like fire in my mouth.  As we kissed, his fingers moved up through my
hair, grabbing the roots.  It was a sexy
moment and I became aware I was making an audible moaning sound, but I wasn’t
going to stop. 

A lot of thoughts were racing through my head as we kissed
and it felt good to know that we had physical chemistry since I generally liked
him as a person.   I was lost in the
feeling of being swept away by his kisses and as we stopped, I tried to talk
coherently, but it took me a few seconds to rattle myself back into the moment.

We ended the night with warm fuzzies, happy thoughts and
promises to see each other again soon.  Yet, after the date, we kept in touch but my
life took a swift turn down the 'ol toilet.   

My ex became a real ass to our youngest son and hasn’t
participated in his life since.  It’s
made me have to juggle everything and has reduced my social life down to the
bare bones, sadly.    Out of fairness, I
did give Bachelor #3 some basic details of the happenings of my life and I
understand if he decided to let things settle for awhile.   I’m
disappointed that we didn’t get to see more of each other but for the short
term, my main focus has to be on my son and getting him through this.   

It’s been a difficult emotional landscape for my son,
affected his grades tremendously and I’m also trying to balance it with my work
and my own challenges.   Honestly, it’s
been a challenge to be everything, pick him up from school when he’s sick, get
my work done, wearing all these hats has been a source of major stress.

I tried to make the holidays as celebratory as I could, but
I could sense my son was feeling an undercurrent of rejection and pain.   Somehow, I know we will get through this and
be better for it.  I know I will, I have
to and I hope that this new year has lots more kisses and warm fuzzies in store
for me.   I am still talking to Latin
Lover, but his life is stressful at the moment too.   So, I'm trying to just keep my focus on what is important today, and that's my son.

This is a season in my life that parenting has to come first
and it’s only temporary, so I’m going to pass through it and know that it’s all
falling into place the way it needs to.   I’ve come so far this year and I have so many
exciting things ahead, I know I’m close and I can see good things coming.   Thank you for being patient, I'd love to be able to write more but haven't had time off until this break.

I thank you so much for reading, for sending me good
thoughts and I hope your holiday season is wonderful!

Smooches,

The Single Mom

 

The Right Questions to Ask On a Date

The immense popularity of the Internet has made the concept of online dating a fairly common phenomenon in today's world. More and more people are looking to find partners online. Finding love online seems to grow with each passing day. Social networking sites, websites and dedicated chat online dating services are bringing like-minded more in the virtual world. However, online dating is not as simple as meeting someone in person. The virtual world poses different threats and all are a little worried. Then, it becomes extremely important to ask the right questions during meeting sessions online.

Ok. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. Now what? How do you begin to separate those who have real potential and those that have no potential at all? You need to find something about who this strange woman really is and not only those who want to believe it. It would be nice if women wore labels like "Gold Digger" or "Daddy's girl" .... but not so it's up to you to find these things and you can't just make direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady, if you decide to do so.

After you are past the initial small talk, I ask you: "what are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?" Listen carefully to your answers. Going to tell you a lot about herself and her opinions on men in General.

You should then ask: "What do you really think about online dating?" Now she will tell you if you have had bad experiences or encounters online and will help you avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important ..... "What caused the break in your relationship last?" If you put all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If you get all the same fault, you should probably do the same. If you say that the breakup was mutual consent or that the relationship wasn't right for neither, you have heard the answer. Move forward, but always with caution.

Make the right questions will give understanding and make you more confident when you meet the Lady for the first time.

Holiday Dating Tips

Even if you're not in honeymoon, sometimes you just want to go away with your loved one for a week fantastical or two in a luxury tourist resort. Whether you're getting away from children and pets just curious, there's no doubt that you want to improve your romance to this holiday special. Here are five of my favorite tips to help you get the maximum potential out of your love story luxury vacation special. Although not going on a luxury vacation, these tips can help you find a bit of romance in addition to your normal life as well.

Single & holidays do not always go together. That's why

Learn how to survive and thrive during the the holiday season is an important thing for singles to learn. Since the holidays are marketed to families, single people that are just are often made to feel like outsiders crashing a party. Talk about the holiday blues!

Christian single women and as men fearing yet another holiday season alone, you're probably struggling or thinking:

-Where are you going to spend your holidays in avoid loneliness

-How is unfair that another Christmas is come, and you're still single

-What are you going to say or do to those relatives who they ask you again because you are not married.

We all know that Christmas can be tricky when is dating. On the surface, it seems that the
ideal time to find that special someone, what with the social partners, offices, meeting places and mistletoe hung strategic (keep it clean guys). But Christmas is also a season tarnished by novelty knitted sweaters, socks, ties, strong Dad trinket earrings and shiny badges (and flashing lights by flashing the lights you want!) Along with snow, the winter climate is renowned for the drying of the skin, so be sure not to make the snow on your  dream So far this Christmas!

Festive cheer ... Smile! Remember to keep your spirits as winter approaches.

New year's Eve ranks up there as one of the more just the first three nights of the year if it is only, and not by choice. But don't worry- While it may be a well-kept secret-the truth
It is, most singles are at home alone or stand in with the family. That said, if you are home alone, don't despair, these tips are for you:

-Get your favorite pizza ordered and engage for a Friday night movie on DVD.

-Phone date. Call a friend for some parts of the country.

-Inviting other singles for more than a take-on dinner. The truth is that you probably have more fun with these friends that you would in a big shebang with people you don't know well at all.

But if none of that makes you feel better you have another chance:

-Get online! With the increasing popularity of Online dating, meet a member of the opposite sex has never been so easy. The days when men and women wrestling with the problem of finding a date for the Saturday night I went along. Now all you have to do is to spend a few hours online, maybe still less, and you can find a date immediately.

The biggest advantage of online dating is wide choice. How do you normally find an adequate person until today-via friends or family? Someone note to someone you know. Otherwise, you have to look to date strangers offline, for example, in a club. But this is risky, because nothing is known about each other and very first meeting is directed.

With online dating, you get a very wide choice. Leaving aside a few tricks, you can identify some eligible persons who can be dated by you provided are ready. You get to know their
profession, likes and dislikes and preferences a dating partner. That gives you plenty of
information about them. With further correspondence, you can learn more. And if you
be attentive and vigilant, you should be able to identify the liars among them. But even after that, you get a much bigger choice. Now you're not employee only by friends and family, but you can addressing a lot of people a lot of totally unknown that may be dated by you.

According to a yahoo, Personal Investigation, 40 percent of single women are asking Santa Claus to bring They someone to marry next year, while the 38 percent of single men are just hoping to get a hot date for new year's Eve. More than 1,000 individuals from around the country have offered insights into their wish lists for the holiday party dates, meeting parents, celebrity mistletoe meetings and more.

Willing to go it alone?

While 86 percent of singles are willing to go to a holiday party alone, nearly half (43 percent) admitted that it's sad to be single during the holidays.

Singles in the Midwest are the most likely to stay home if they don't have a date to a holiday party.

Are you feeling down about being single this holiday season and wishing you could just go into suspended animation till January 1st... or make that February 15th? You are not alone, because there are a lot of men online that are waiting to know you better. You will have an absolutely great time and you may find the special one.

The Dating Game... 3 New Eligible Bachelors...

For those of you who email/tweet/Facebook me with advice
about my dating life, I hear one criticism frequently – that I need to stop
dating ex’s and date NEW men.  I
appreciate any feedback and in this case I completely agree and I have been
trying to do that… well except for the recent date with “Latin Lover”.   That date was somewhat one of curioisity and
well not gonna sugarcoat it, down and dirty Miss naughty pants stuff. 

Yet, I know that I need to open up (carefully) to new men
and have been taking baby steps doing that. 
I just haven’t been able to catch you up until now on how that’s been
going and what new ways I’ve gotten my ass kicked by it.   Yay, go me! 
Meh.  

There have been some fun dates, first kisses, good guys,
attraction and mixed signals, maybe even from me.   Admittedly, I’m not great at navigating
through these murky waters of dating and it has probably made all this more
complicated because I’m trying to resolve the feelings that have come to the
surface after seeing Latin Lover again.

I’m trying to keep a frame of mind about Latin Lover that
I’m just going to let whatever is going to happen to be and not get too excited
about it.   Usually this delusion lasts
about 3 seconds and in my mind the next moment we are running across a field of
daisies, toward each other, arms outstretched (which other than not knowing
where a field of daisies is, it  could
totally happen).   

However, I recently went on a dating spree.  All these dates happened within the same
week, which was probably not a good idea in and of itself.   There were some good moments, nice first
kisses and well of course awkward moments too…

Bachelor #1

I started talking to a few men on Twitter, which has been
such a bad decision in the past.  It
isn’t Twitter, it is that my “persona” on Twitter is maybe a little bit of a fantasy.  That isn’t to sound like I think too much of
myself, but 90% of my tweets are from naughty, shiny side of me.    I
think the expectation is that I always cook in my heels and talk dirty 24/7
(almost true, but not exactly, lol).

I did meet a man on Twitter though who was really sincere, a
writer himself and broken.   We started
sending messages back and forth and my role early seemed to be consoling
him.  The first time we talked on the phone
we totally hit it off and talked for 4 hours into the wee hours of the morning.
  It was a powerful, connected
conversation.  It did go near “Dirtytown”
and unfortunately I think that’s where this train wrecked and burned, burning
alive all the passengers inside. (not to be too dramatic, or anything)

I also made a “Rookie Mistake” which I shouldn’t have.  I know better.    I was a dumbass and met him at his
place.   Fortunately, he wasn’t one of “those guys” but
I know he wanted that to happen and he became awkward and uncomfortable.  Maybe it was just normal nerves but
unfortunately it triggered a horrible flashback in my past.   We went on with the date, went to cute little
spot near his apartment and went through the motions.   Unfortunately, there was just no way for me
to pull myself out of this emotional funk. 
We ended the night with good intentions to see each other and a good
night kiss, but I just wanted to hibernate.   As soon
as I got home, I went straight to bed, pulled the covers over my head and cried
thinking of my past hurts and that feeling lingered for a couple of days.

It wasn’t his fault at all, it was probably more mine.  However, I don’t really think the timing was
good for him and I have to chalk it up to a learning experience.

Bachelor #2

He saw me on a dating site and emailed the hell outta
me.   I didn’t have a membership so I
could only send him one email, which I did after about 5 from him, giving him
my personal email address.   He seemed a
little like a pompous jerk and although I couldn’t even read everything he sent
me, it seemed to be driving him bat shit crazy that I wasn’t emailing him.    Once
the email correspondence started, he revealed a side of him that was sweet,
vulnerable and overall not-assholeish.  

We texted and clicked. 
Clearly, he was really falling for my goofiness and dorkiness -- it’s my
tractor beam that sucks them in every time. 
Pity, really.   Just kiddin, but I
was starting to let my guard down with him and share more about myself.  We had some favorite songs in common and it
opened the door for some inside jokes and cute flirting.   We were careful not be too flirty and
it seemed like our first date was going to be one for the books.   Before we even went out, he was setting up
our second date and dropped hints of taking me along to Chicago for a business
trip with him the following week.   I
have to admit, it didn’t suck.

For our first date, he planned an innocent date that would
have been “Leave it to Beaver” approved --  indoor mini golf near my house.  When he got there he made sure to be obvious
by texting me to look out for his BMW in the parking lot, which this was one of
several overt references he made to his financial success.   *Gag*    

Anyhoo, the date was fun. 
He seemed nervous to meet me and in an attempt to impress me tried to show
off his mini golf swag.   Whenever he
could, he stood near me and I could tell he was attracted to me, which was nice
to know early.   He was dark and handsome, but not as confident
as I would have liked. However, I was beginning to like him in person.

After golfing, we headed outside on the cold night and had
our first kiss.   He was a little
nervous, grabbed my head and kissed me hard. 
The kiss led to several more and they were passionate.   After
a few minute kissing sesh, he leaned up against his BMW to lay the ol’ sales
pitch on me for me to come to his house to continue the evening.  It was about as subtle as the moment on “The
Bachelor” when there is an envelope inviting the other to the fantasy suite for
the evening and both people know what’s about to go down.

I couldn’t be out late because it was a work/school night
for one.  Second, I was not about to go
to his house on a first date.  He
insisted that he wasn’t going to push intimacy and that nothing would happen
that wasn’t a good idea.   I didn’t want
the date to end, so I offered that instead we have a drink at a nearby pub and
continue the night.    He wouldn’t have
it and tried his best to persuade me.  
Neither one of us budged so we parted for the night with a lot of kisses
and date number two planned for the next night.  

The next day just so happened to be election day and not a
good financial day for Bachelor #2, as he is a Financial Planner.   He texted me to cancel the date and was a
total a-hole about how he lost a lot of money in the market that day and lashed
out at me.   I was done.  

He didn’t try to apologize or even backpedal.  I think his ego was so bruised from me
“rejecting” his offer to come to his place that he just couldn’t get over it,
I’m not sure.  However, I was sure that
he wasn’t the one for me.

Next time:  Bachelor
#3… two dates, attraction but maybe some mixed messages… 

 

Thanks for reading!

Smooches,

 

The Single Mom

 

The Long Awaited Reunion with "Latin Lover"

Thanks for your kind words and patience during my
silence.  It feels great to be
missed.   Suffice it to say that I’m struggling
to take care of everything, the boys, working on short term projects,
looking for long term work and trying to juggle the parenting demands.   However,
I have been on several dates over the past month, and this is one of them,
about 2 weeks ago.  This date is my
reunion with “Latin Lover”, the man I was smitten with last summer…

It didn’t seem real, even as I looked at his text saying “I
can’t wait to see you tonight”, I could see more reasons that something would
happen to cancel tonight’s date than I could see it really happening.  Or, I could see it happen but me embarrassing
myself, like trying to make a sexy entrance and falling -- creating a Chevy
Chase entrance instead, like I have done before, seriously.

You have to first understand that men like “Latin Lover” don’t
happen to women like me.  He’s incredibly
good looking, charming and sexy.   I’m
confident about myself, but there is still a huge part of me who is the awkward
girl in middle school who relied on her sense of humor to make friends and to
eventually catch the eye of Jr. High boys.

As a little girl, my mom read The Ugly Duckling over and
over to me.  Looking back now, I wonder
if she hoped someday beauty would find me and I’d have a triumphant ending like
the duckling.   I’m in my forties now and
I feel confident and sexy but I know my limitations and I see my flaws (like
all of us). Yet I’m at an age where I don’t give a rat’s rear what other people
think about me, good or bad.   Over the
past year, I’ve worked hard to lose weight and have even started running
again.  My confidence has started to
swell but unfortunately my “assets” have been shrinking.

If anything, now the timing was fantastic for a reunion with
Latin Lover, I feel great and I’m in a good place emotionally.   When the chance came to go to his city for a
meeting, my hand was the first one in the air. 
I gladly volunteered to drive the almost 2 hours to “Latinloverland” and
attend a meeting for our team.   I took a
huge breath, typed a text to him asking him if he was free Thursday night that
I’d be in town and hit “send”. 

 I didn’t really
expect an answer from him right away, since I had to cancel plans with him just
a few months ago, twice.    I was physically sick from the disappointment
of not getting to see him, but there were things going on in my boys’ life that
I had to deal with.

 I put the phone down,
and didn’t look at it for about a half an hour to get some things done and was
prepared for whatever answer came… or didn’t come.   My message light was blinking red and I held
my breath as I opened his text.  I had to
read it twice to make sure it was true and let out a happy squeal when he said he’d
love to see me.

The next couple of days I had daydreams about seeing him
again, wondering what it would be like and trying to not be nervous, trying is
about all I could shoot for.    It had
been a year and a few months since we’d seen each other.   When we met our connection was instant and
I’ve never felt anything even close to it.  
I was instantly attracted to him, genuinely liked him and we were very
physical for a first date.   I NEVER let my
guard down like that and probably made a bit of an ass of myself telling him
so. 

We saw each other a few times last summer and each time was
perfect, from start to finish. Unfortunately, this incredible attraction wasn’t
enough to compete with both of our busy parenting schedules, work schedules and
trying to squeeze moments of life in the remaining cracks.    I
didn’t take it well and said some cranky things to him when we said
goodbye.  Eventually, we started texting
again and I was thrilled just to be able to have any contact with him.

We kept in touch, barely and it was fun reminiscing about
our past sexy moments, easily the sexiest moments of my life.    Fantasies of him were never far from my
mind and I could remember just about every detail of our time together, what he
wore, what I wore, everything. 

I was feeling stressed, could think of 10 things I needed to
check off my “to do” list more than extend this day and see him, but I told
myself that if he could still see me that I deserved this time, these few hours
with him.   I resolved to be in a great
mood and make sure to make sure I was great company for him. 

I dressed for the meeting but also did pre-date preparations
and even enjoyed the extra “beauty chores”. 
I enjoyed shaving my legs envisioning him touching them, and I took
extra care moisturizing every inch of my skin. 
I wore a suit but added some feminine details and even wore thigh highs
and a lacy garter belt as a surprise.

Today as I began the drive to see him, I felt giddy when I
saw the sign showing the distance to his city. 
I was excited to finally be heading to see him and yet it almost still
didn’t seem real.   As I drove to see
him, I grew more excited as the numbers marking the miles counted down and yet
the cynical voice in my head kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and for
him to have to cancel.    

I found my way to my meeting place at the busy shopping
center, ironically the same one that he and I met at last summer.  I had to force myself to stop letting my fantasies
carry me totally away from the humdrum meeting.   Unfortunately, it was boring and it made the
time drag even longer.  After it was over
I still had an hour to kill and dashed into a couple of stores to try to pass
this time, but I couldn’t shake the nervous anticipation.

I jumped when my text chime went off.  My pulse began to race as I took a deep
breath and read his words.   He asked me
where I was and I was so relieved to know he wasn’t cancelling tonight.     He
told me to go the French restaurant and he’d be there in a few.   I texted back oui oui and circled around
happily wasting time looking for it. 

I found a place to park took a few more moments to primp and
made my way to the restaurant.    I ran into the restaurant to adjust my thigh
highs trying to feel normal wearing them, but really felt dorky.   He texted me to please order his drink, and I
was happy to sit and order, claiming the last two chairs at the crowded
bar. 

It was relaxing to have a change of scenery to be away from
my hometown and to see completely unfamiliar faces, it almost felt like being
on vacation.   I tried to convince myself
that tonight was really happening but it still seemed so hard to believe.   Latin Lover and our nights together have
become a recurring fantasy reel in my mind and I wondered if time exaggerated our
connection if maybe the chemistry was just a summer fling.  

My mind slipped back to our first date and what I thought
about as I waited for him.  I wasn’t
nervous that first night, not completely knowing what to expect and yet tonight
I was more nervous because I DID know what to expect.  He is gorgeous, charming and someone who I
felt instantly comfortable being around, yet he’s so good looking that he can
rattle even me.   I remembered the moment
he walked in on our first date, greeted me so warmly with a quick kiss on the
mouth.   I was smitten with him from that
first second and something about him wouldn’t let me go, even after all this
time.

My mind also raced to our kissing sessions and how the
passion carried us away.   The bartender interrupted my impure memories
and I know I had a dirty smirk on my face as I tried to order the cocktails.  Our drinks quickly came and I drank mine in
an attempt to calm my nerves. 

A few minutes later, he came in like a fireball and hugged
me, tightly.   I enjoyed his embrace,
closed my eyes and breathed his cologne in deeply, which made the memories of
him appear even more vivid in my mind.  I
tightened my arms around him as he planted kisses on my neck.  

It finally was real to me, HE was really here, now in the
chair next to me and we were both grinning from ear to ear, the joy on our faces
had to be obvious to anyone.  I tried to
hide the fact that my hands were shaking, but I’m not sure I completely pulled
it off.  We instantly started catching up
and didn’t stop, having so much to tell each other and we covered just about
everything from the daily grind, our kids and even sex.  

He asked me a lot about my writing and was disappointed to
hear that I was having to backburner it to deal with the demands of life.   He
encouraged me to continue doing it and to keep pursuing that dream.  It meant so much to hear him say this but I
explained that it’s just not possible right now, sadly.

As we were talking, the eye contact was intense and we were
constantly touching.   There were a few
times that he just paused and said “I can’t believe you’re really here, I just
can’t believe it.”   Kissing was a
pleasant break between conversations and it felt so great to have his mouth on
mine again.  

We were able to go from breezy topics to deep ones, with
ease.    We shared a lot and the time we
had been apart was irrelevant, we didn’t miss a beat in the intimacy we
had. 

He was just as gorgeous as I remembered although he did seem
tired and stressed.   However, he was
sweet and attentive to me.  He made sure
I had what I needed and was comfortable and took random breaks to kiss my neck,
hand, wrist or touch my leg.    Although we were in the bar of a crowded
restaurant, we were oblivious to anyone around us, except the occasional
interruption from the bartender.   The happiness on our faces was probably more
than obvious and with the kissing, probably borderline obnoxious to those
around us.

Sitting next to him, I felt happier than I have in a very
long time, I thoroughly enjoyed staring into his eyes and savoring his beauty
as we talked. 

He said he’d like to see me more, even talked about us
taking a getaway trip.   It was a
thrilling thought but I didn’t want to think about it too much and get my hopes
up.    The time flew by and the kissing
started to overtake the conversation. 
His hand moved up my smooth leg and he took a momentary break from
kissing me to flash me a naughty smirk when he discovered the lacy garter on my
thigh.   

His hand moved recklessly up the side of my skirt and it
made me feel like the entire bar could see my ass.   I gasped and chided him for a second but
laughed it off quickly.  Gesturing the bartender
for the check was his obvious next move.  We quickly paid and walked the path quickly to
the front door.

I noticed how beautiful the scenery outside the restaurant
was now that it was dark.  There was a
lake, lit beautifully and the sound of the running waters from the fountain
completed the scene for our passionate kissing. 
Everything about kissing him felt so right and I was so estatic to be
with him again.   The night was chilly
and we started walking towards my car, hand in hand.   

I knew we didn’t have much time because I had to be home and
I knew his son was expecting him too.  This time with him was perfect so far and I
couldn’t have written a better night with him, except if we could have been
together all night long.    

We stole a few semi private sexy moments in the parking lot
outside my car.   He kissed the few bits
of bare skin he could get away with and I enjoyed receiving his affections.  His passion and the way he kisses is a totally
different feeling than I’ve ever felt because it’s obvious he thoroughly adores
a woman. When I’m with him, I feel adored, worshiped almost in his presence.  

The night’s chill forced us into my car and it wasn’t long
before the windows were covered in steam.    Any
doubt I had earlier today that our passion was fleeting, was long gone
now.   We reluctantly said our goodbyes and talked
about seeing each other again.    It took
about 3 times for us to be able to finally say goodbye and it was difficult to watch
him finally walk to his car when the night was over.  

The night was perfect and I didn’t want to think about the
future too much.  I enjoyed the long car
ride home replaying this night, feeling peaceful and so happy to have seen him
again, hopeful for the future but just enjoying the moment for what it was.

Thank you for reading! 

Smooches,

The Single Mom

Good First Date Tips

1. Have a support plan. If you thought going to the beach time can change, the site where you thought go may be closed for renovation work, even your tickets for a concert not always let you access it... For all these reasons and many more... it is very useful to have an alternative plan in mind, for the case for your appointment to take an unexpected course.

2. Schedule a short appointment. It begins with a simple quote from 1-2 hours. If things go well, you can always extend longer appointment. However, there nothing worse than a planned day of appointment and five minutes to realise there is no future ahead.

3. Be punctual. There is no greater sign of lack of respect (or interest) which arrive late at your first appointment. Get directions with time, arrives early, and demonstrates your appointment that you care, he or she and the plans that you have done.

4. Dress properly. If you've been to go to something special somewhere... sympathetically talk about the dress code that is going to take your partner. Put you agree (or deploy warn you how are you going). There is nothing more embarrassing if one occurs in formal attire and the other in jeans.

5. Get compliments, but it passes you. A few kind words make everybody feel special, but persistent comments about the appearance of the other person, your body, your personality, etc. are ancient and they may seem desperate...

6. Not passes you in the drink... A few drinks can help reduce the tension of the appointment, but do not think that you're in a party of former colleagues... Drinking too much is probably take out little attractive aspects of your personality and not help you in your chances.

7. Keep a balance between what you talk and listen. Pay attention to the amount of time that raisins speaking versus that raisins listening. If you err in a direction that is to listen to...

8. Do not talk of past amorous experiences. Things like "to my ex loved this or another..." They demonstrate insecurity and lack of tact.

9. Leave for later deep conversations. Our advice is to not talk about on your first date sex, religion, political, disappointments, personal problems... The aim is that the other had it is great. And make you laugh your colleague a lot. Devises a plan to have fun and have fun. The depths of life already come little by little.

The Chilly Days after the Steamy Night with "Man Candy"

As the “morning after” went on, I started to come down from
the emotional high of waking up next to Man Candy and all the happy flashbacks
of the night before started to be replaced with questions.   I started to wonder what did last night
mean, what would happen next and was he starting to have deeper feelings for
me. 

I tried to toss these thoughts out
of my mind and just try to enjoy the rush, but it became harder and harder as
the hours passed.    An image of our steamy night, bathed in salty kisses and intense lovemaking flashed in my memory, but just as quickly, it was replaced by an uneasy feeling of thinking I'd made a mistake.  My body was washed over in pleasure and I enjoyed smelling his cologne linger on my skin, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.

We kept in touch, not much change in our communication
patterns and I consciously tried to not be a “girl” and dig deep into his
feelings or probe him for any change in our closeness.    I
read and reread every text three or four times to try to sniff out a hidden
meaning or some hint of closeness, only to find nothing to hang hope on. 

We met the next Sunday afternoon to watch football.  It was a beautiful day with clear blue skies
and the first day that the breezes started to feel more like fall and at the same
time that summer was slipping away fast.  
The place we met was a local spot that we met up for beers last winter.  Today, we went outside and were seated on an
outdoor patio surrounded by lively football fans, cheering on their team and
downing wings and beers.   



The mood was cheerful and we enjoyed the
sunshine on our faces and being able to see the football game from
outdoors.  We had beers, snacks and enjoyed the game.  During commercials, we chatted about our
usual subject matter, kids, work, sports but nothing of any depth.     After the game, I decided to get home to
get a jump start on the week ahead.  
There were groceries to buy and the boys’ laundry to fold and put away.   I was enjoying my time with Man Candy but
there really didn’t seem to be a reason to stay. 

Our conversation seemed more forced than normal and although
it was comfortable it just didn’t seem like we were cutting through basic small
talk.   We said our goodbyes and I made my way back
through the crowded bar to the entrance.  
As I walked to my car, it began to irritate me that he didn’t walk me
out and kiss me goodbye. 

I had a 20 minute drive home to think about this more and I
became more irritated.  When I came to my
exit, I pulled over at the first parking lot and texted him how he seemed distant
today and I didn’t understand why.   I
put my car in drive and began to roll forward when I received his reply.  He seemed angry and told me I was nuts and that
he was just his normal self.    I fired back that he could have walked me out
and kissed me goodbye and thought it was odd that he didn’t.   

His reply was that he was sorry and it wasn’t
intentional.    I accepted his apology but started to realize
that we were in two completely different places emotionally.   I had to realize that I couldn’t expect him
to have some kind of spiritual connection with me during a football game, but I
didn’t want to feel like a piece of furniture either. 

During the next week, he seemed a little more distant than
normal and I realized he probably wasn’t going to develop deeper feelings for
me.   I knew if I wanted to hang out with
him, watch a game and share some beers, I was in luck.  However, if I wanted to have the closeness
that we used to have, it didn’t seem possible. 

The next few days passed along without incident.  On Friday, we didn’t have any plans for the
weekend and out of frustration I sent him a text that afternoon that I wanted
to talk.   He called me right away and I took a walk to
overlook the river to take his call.  He was
concerned about what I had to say and encouraged me to talk.  

I explained that I didn’t see us moving in a
forward direction and that I was frustrated and disappointed.   He opened up about some issues about his son
and his ex that have been taking his attention the past few days.  There had been some drama and they had been
going back and forth about homework and schedules. 

I took this time to tell him some observations about his ex
that I’ve been keeping to myself for weeks.  
I basically unloaded how I felt she was using him and controlling his
life and I was probably too blunt.  It
bothered me how this was going on and I finally spilled my guts about it.  He was quiet for a few moments which seemed
much longer than they really were.  

He agreed with everything that I said and thanked me for
bringing it all to his attention.   He
saw a new reality that somehow he’d been denying all along and he couldn’t
argue with anything I said.  I apologized
for saying it the way I did, but that I wanted him to be able to make
changes.    This opened up a whole new
conversation and I told him that I was here to help him in any way I could and
that I wished he’d told me what had been happening.     

It felt like we had made some real progress and it felt like
we were almost like a team and he trusted my opinion.   He
asked if he could see me tonight after work and I invited him to come along
with my colleagues after we finished and have some beers with us.  He said he’d text me and that he was looking
forward to the evening. 

I checked my phone several times and his text finalizing our
plans never came.  I went ahead with my
plans and enjoyed chatting with my coworkers after an intense week.    It was a relief that the long week was
finally behind us and the drinks were taking the edge off of the past few
days.    I texted him simply, “WTH?”  and before I could put the phone down, it
rang. 

Of course it was him calling to tell me that he was feeling
depressed and couldn’t force himself to go out like he originally planned.   It was
so loud in the bar and I wasn’t going to continue to have a conversation with
him while I could be having fun with my friends.   He clearly wasn’t putting in the same effort
and I wasn’t going to let it bother me.  
I told him we’d talk later and I continued enjoying time with my
friends.   It affected me and it hurt my feelings,
because I started to hope that we had turned a corner, but deep down, I didn’t
count on it either. 

I spent the next day cleaning, organizing and tossing out
stuff.  I’m not sure why, but during
emotional times like this, I clean out my closet, maybe I just feel like I need
to regain control of something, anything so I took my frustration out for “Man
Candy” out on my innocent walk in closet. 
  

Later that evening, I met a girlfriend for appetizers and a
drink to replay the past few days and get her opinion.  She listened and agreed that there didn’t seem
to be any reason to think he’d change and that I should stop communicating with
him.

That night, when I got home, I was beyond worn down.  I was both drained and physically exhausted.   As I slipped into bed, I texted “Man Candy” a
simple goodbye, telling him that I care about him but it’s time to part
ways.    It wasn’t necessary to talk again and rehash
everything, it was clear where we both stood and that there wasn’t a point of
dragging it out longer.  

He apologized for sending me mixed messages and I was a
little bitchy with my response.   I know
he didn’t mean to hurt me but he still did and that it didn’t make it hurt less.   My anger was pushing my sadness down and I
was still feeling bitchy, not sad.    He said goodbye and that he’ll miss me
too.   I read his words several times but
I couldn’t cry, I just mocked his text repeating his words in a sarcastic
tone.  I knew it was immature, but it was
easier than feeling disappointment and rejection.

I texted my other best friend, a guy who is much younger
than me, but somehow we are incredibly close. 
I knew he’d be working the late shift and that he’d know just what to
say to comfort my battered heart.    He immediately returned my text and was
incredibly sweet, offering to talk if I needed to.    I
thanked him for being so sweet but I didn’t feel like talking.  

I then sent a couple of pathetic, whiny texts about what
happened and how sad I was that it ended up like this.  I was aware of how lame I was and he texted
me back with a perfect response.   He
told me that I’m a beautiful woman inside and out and that “Man Candy” would
someday realize what a great woman he lost.  
Although it was a “textbook” reply, it still touched me profoundly and
my eyes started to fill with tears, finally. 

I thanked him for saying that and sent him a short and sweet
text back.   My tears were flowing and I
could barely see enough to read anymore.  
My eyes closed and I let the tears stream down my face.   Although he texted me a couple more sweet texts, I
didn’t see them until morning because I was already asleep…  dreaming a new dream.



Thank you so much for reading!!!



Smooches,



The Single Mom





Sorry I've been out of action for so long, life has been incredibly busy and stressful.   I'm in the thick of looking for a new job and it's been a lot of time and stress, but very important.    I also did an appearance on Huffington Post Live,  a panel conversation.  I've been asked to do another one and it just hasn't worked out, so hopefully, I'll be able to do one soon.   I've also been doing a regular Friday morning radio show talking about dating and relationships, so that's been fun to do and great to help people with their dating questions.   I've also struck out again on the dating scene, a couple of dates to catch you up on soon... not sure what to make of it all, but I'm putting myself back out there again, so I guess that's a good thing, we will see won't we?   Smooches!!! 

 

A Steamy, Fun Date with Man Candy

 

 

A passionate fantasy reel played in my mind while I was
getting ready for my fifth date with “Man Candy”.  This wasn’t JUST our fifth date, but this is
our second go around of dating.  We’ve
been walking a blurry line of passion and friendship since our casual
reconnection over beers earlier this summer.   
The dates have had a lot of conversation, sharing and long, passionate
makeout sessions on the way back to our cars.

Our emotional connection was always there, since the very
first time we spoke.   We have a lot in
common, see the world in a pretty similar way and we are both laid back about
most things.    We’ve had a comfort level
being together, the conversation has flowed easily but if there does happen to
be silence, it doesn’t seem awkward.

The physical chemistry has been effortless also.   I’m particular about kissing and he kisses
me exactly the way I like.   We both have
a naughty side, again a perfect match.  
I respect a lot about him, probably one of the traits I like the best is
that he doesn’t sleep around.  He’s not a
dude who goes clubbing and takes a different woman home every night.   He’s a one woman kind of a guy, extremely
picky and maybe even guarded but doesn’t go through women like a lot of men I
meet.

With all that being said, I wasn’t ready for my clothes to
end up on his floor at the end of the night, but I was looking forward to
spending more time with him.  It was a
Saturday night and neither one of us had our kids.   I wanted to do something different on our
date and we had tickets to a comedy show.  
The week was a long one and I was looking forward to a fun night out.    

Admittedly, I took a long time getting ready for the
evening.   I chose my new favorite top,
in teal.   It’s a beautiful color and
looks great with summer tanned skin and also draws out my blue eyes… well all
that AND it makes my boobs look huge, so that’s probably the honest reason I
chose it.   I’ve been losing a little
weight and pulling myself back up out of my bitchy, cranky, depression.    So,
it was actually a fun to take a long time getting ready, plucking eyebrows,
exfoliating every follicle and of course the telltale leg shaving.   

As I had one of these fantasy daydreams about the evening,
my logical mind would push out the fleshy imagery right back out of my brain
and put the panties back on.    I didn’t
want to repeat our past mistakes but I haven’t let myself get quite as attached
this time either.    I packed a toothbrush, contact solution and a
red silky chemise, well just in case I needed some overnight essentials…

Our night got off to a great start, lots of passionate
kisses that cued up the fantasy daydream reel in my mind.   My body was following right along where my
mind was going and I could feel myself wanting more.   Our eyes locked on each other’s between
kisses just long enough to build more desire and kiss again even harder.  Our kissing sesh had to stop abruptly as we
rushed off to make the show in time.  It
was raining lightly and it was difficult trying to jog in stiletto, but we made
it. 

We were seated quickly, ordered drinks that quickly came and
thoroughly enjoyed the show.  There was a
lot of material about being single and we made eye contact during the
performances, sharing in on the laughter together.  It was a great release after an exhausting
week and good for both of us. 

The drinks were especially strong and my alcohol tolerance
is especially weak.   I was in a jovial mood and the effects of the
liquor were more obvious when I tried to stand.   After the show it was still reasonably early
and we were having fun.  We decided to
catch the end of the baseball game on tv at the restaurant on the way out. 

It was crowded with lots of beautiful single people,
bachelorette party groups and sports fans watching the game.   The music was upbeat, there were buoyant
conversations and loud cheers about the action on the tv.     We were talking over all the noise and
having a good time.   I ordered a drink
and a water, as I knew I needed to slow down.

My plan to stop drinking was foiled by of all things, a
woman who bought me a drink, well a shot to be more exact.  She struck up a conversation, winked at me
curiously and bought me a shot.  The
drink immediately made me regret accepting it and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to
handle myself.   We decided to make a quick exit and he helped me
make my way through the crowd.

It was a beautiful night outside, the trees were lit
beautifully and the night’s sky was clear overhead.   There was live music and lots of activity in
the courtyard.  He pulled me close and
kissed me hard while we waited for the elevator down to my car.   I wasn’t going to even attempt to drive, and
he insisted to take my keys.   In the
car, we shared a few lingering kisses, enjoying a rare moment of privacy. 

He drove the short drive to his house and I tried my best to
walk in my high heels feeling the full effects of my drinks.  I grabbed my purse, but intentionally left my
“overnight” bag in the car.

The first moments alone in his house were a little
awkward.    It was actually a little
surreal to finally be alone together, after so many hot make out sessions in
dark parking lots.   It was weird finally
being in his house after all this time of knowing him, seeing where he sleeps
and showers every day.  It was a typical
guy’s bedroom, simple and just about the opposite of my canopy draped girly
boudoir.  

I planned on only hanging out for an hour or so and leaving
when I was sober.   He offered for me to
get comfortable and stay as long as I needed to until I felt ready to drive,
including overnight.  I thanked him and
knew I needed to let some time pass before I could drive home.   My
contacts were irritating and I mentioned that I wanted to take them out.  This innocent comment led to him asking me if
brought a case with me.  I answered that
it was in my car, and with that he swooped in like a gentleman and retrieved my
things for me.   

As I brushed my teeth and slipped out of my clothes and into
my silky red chemise, he was in the other room checking Facebook and email.

We both were exhausted and headed straight for bed.  It felt natural, almost ordinary in fact to
crawl into bed, pull the covers down and lay next to him.   He put
his arm around me and our mouths found each other in the darkness, sharing
sweet goodnight kisses.    My hands
caressed his chest and biceps, gently and it was cozy being tucked in under his
arm.     

 

Our kissing switched from sweet and gentle to passionate and
hungry within just a few seconds.   His
hand grabbed my breast tightly as his kiss felt literally like he was inhaling
me.   My arm slid around the small of his
waist, drawing him closer to me and then over his boxer briefs.   He kissed my neck hard and my desire for him
was becoming unbearable. 

He ran his fingers through my hair as he kissed me hard, causing
me to want him now and I told him so.  In
the next moment, his boxer briefs were on the floor and our bodies were joined
together.    It was exactly as I
remembered and the passion was even better this time.   It was incredibly hot and even more so being
this close, sweat from his brow dripped onto me and our kisses tasted salty
from kissing each other’s skin.

After, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.   When I awoke, I realized I had slept so
deeply that it felt almost like I was waking up from a surgery.   I
haven’t slept that deeply in a very long time and it felt good to wake up next
to him.    We shared morning breath
kisses which only lead to another lovemaking session, again perfect in every
way.

We shared some snuggling and casual chit chat but I had to
get my day started.  I got dressed and
tried to smooth my hair down.   He dressed also and we shared a few more
kisses as I pulled on the teal blouse from the night before.    I
drove the long drive home with a smile on my face, replaying the real fantasy
reel of fresh memories in my mind.   

I didn’t want to analyze what I was feeling or
what he might be feeling in this moment right now.   I did enjoy smelling his cologne still on my skin and replaying the night in my mind.  It felt like we were making progress and I was happy about the hot summer night with Man Candy… but would the sweetness last… ? 

Thanks so much for reading!

Smooches,

The Single Mom

 

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