The Dating Game: Bachelor #3

 

Was my crappy luck in the dating game over or was it about
to change?   My date with Bachelor #1 was
awkward, Bachelor #2 was a good date but I didn’t go home with him and as a
result there wasn’t a date number 2.  So,
was the third man going to be the charm? 

My first date with Bachelor #3 was a casual lunch get
together that didn’t really even feel like a date.  We met on Twitter, chatted back and forth and
made a last minute lunch “date”.    I’d
just come from a job interview, was in a suit and was still decompressing from
the pressure of being grilled.  Heck, how
much more pressure should I put on myself than to have a first date right after
an interview?  Sheesh that’s a big ol’
stress sandwich.  

I enjoyed our lunch conversation and it was effortless.  We instantly seemed comfortable with each
other, asked “get to know you” questions peppered with a lot of random humor.   This date wasn’t long after the full court
press that Bachelor #2 put on me and so having a funny conversation with a man
was a welcomed surprise.   After lunch,
we hugged and talked about getting together and I looked forward to that.  I had a great time, we connected and it was
so low key, exactly what I needed.

As the next couple of days went by, we kept in touch but he wasn’t
making typical aggresive male moves.  He
casually asked me on a date for the next weekend.   We set a date for a movie and met at the
theatre on Saturday night.  I was very
relaxed to see him, getting ready was stress free, although I fixed my makeup
and hair for a date, I didn’t think much about what to wear. 

We met up, exchanged quick hugs and bought our tickets.   We also bought the monster trough of
popcorn, large enough to feed a small third world country.   Seating was limited, but we made our way
inside the comfy theatre and settled in for the show.   We hadn’t broken any kind of physical date
contact barriers yet and I could sense he was contemplating making the typical
arm around the shoulder move or some other similar gesture.   So, we exchanged casual chit chat through
the previews while I imagined he was planning a move.

It felt comfortable being with him, maybe too comfortable if
that’s possible.  After the other recent
dates and having to feel like I was defending myself it was nice to not have to
worry.  We exchanged quiet chit chat
during the previews and I playfully snuck bites of his popcorn.  

I felt relaxed and being with him was incredibly easy.   Once the movie started, I made a joke about
how he could do the pretend yawn move so that he could put his arm around
me.   Maybe it was me being a control
freak or maybe I wanted to rescue him from wondering if was going to be
ok.   He seemed happy to have the “green light” and
he moved the arm rest between us so that I could snuggle closer. 

It struck me as a little odd having this intimate kind of
physical contact with someone before having our first kiss, but it also felt
comfortable, like slipping on a favorite sweater.   We saw an action movie and enjoyed reacting
to the plot twists with each other.    My
feet were tucked under me, comfortably and his arm rested casually around my
waist, touching the bare skin between the waist of my jeans and my blouse.  It was a sensual feeling and certainly wasn’t
out of bounds for us being on just a second date.  

Once the movie ended, we made plans to have dinner at the
Irish Pub a block away, a place I’ve spent many evenings and was the setting of
many fun and romantic memories for me.   He arrived first and claimed a table in the
cozy library room.    We ordered dinner and drinks and immediately started
talking.  For some reason, tonight’s
conversation was much more serious.  

He
talked about his divorce and some serious health challenges he endured.  I listened intently and shared a little about
some things I’ve been through as well.  
However, I wasn’t expecting the evening to have such a serious tone,
unlike our first date.   I tried to
inject some humor and I wasn’t sure I hit the mark of the levity I tried for
because it felt like I might have offended him with my joking. 

I enjoy real conversations and I surely don’t want to
participate in superficial ones, but I wasn’t prepared for tonight to be so
heavy.  I wondered if he felt like he
wanted to disclose these details in the name of honesty, as a confession
requirement for a relationship, or if it was just something he felt like he
needed to talk about.   Either way, I
appreciated that he felt like he could trust me with such personal information
but I wondered if he still had some healing to do from his divorce, I wasn’t
sure.    It was such a serious conversation
that it wasn’t conducive to my typical flirty moves and charm, so I was
beginning to question if there was an attraction, it was difficult to decode.

We both had light dinners, finished the conversation on a
positive note, and we decided to call it a night.  He put his arm around me as he walked me to
my car in the crisp fall air.   It felt
more relaxed and I was wondering if he’d kiss me as we walked along the
sidewalk.   I pointed out my car and we
stopped in front of it to exchange goodbyes. 
He towered over me by more than a foot and our long hug soon became a
longer kiss, and then several more.   We
kissed long and passionately under the stars. 
  

His arms reached tightly around my waist as he pulled me close
to him as his kisses became intense.   I
felt his hands graze over my ass as he cupped me tightly against him as we
kissed.    I enjoyed kissing him and I felt wanted, as
my attraction for him was starting to increase.   His passion intensified as he grabbed my
head while his kisses became hot like fire in my mouth.  As we kissed, his fingers moved up through my
hair, grabbing the roots.  It was a sexy
moment and I became aware I was making an audible moaning sound, but I wasn’t
going to stop. 

A lot of thoughts were racing through my head as we kissed
and it felt good to know that we had physical chemistry since I generally liked
him as a person.   I was lost in the
feeling of being swept away by his kisses and as we stopped, I tried to talk
coherently, but it took me a few seconds to rattle myself back into the moment.

We ended the night with warm fuzzies, happy thoughts and
promises to see each other again soon.  Yet, after the date, we kept in touch but my
life took a swift turn down the 'ol toilet.   

My ex became a real ass to our youngest son and hasn’t
participated in his life since.  It’s
made me have to juggle everything and has reduced my social life down to the
bare bones, sadly.    Out of fairness, I
did give Bachelor #3 some basic details of the happenings of my life and I
understand if he decided to let things settle for awhile.   I’m
disappointed that we didn’t get to see more of each other but for the short
term, my main focus has to be on my son and getting him through this.   

It’s been a difficult emotional landscape for my son,
affected his grades tremendously and I’m also trying to balance it with my work
and my own challenges.   Honestly, it’s
been a challenge to be everything, pick him up from school when he’s sick, get
my work done, wearing all these hats has been a source of major stress.

I tried to make the holidays as celebratory as I could, but
I could sense my son was feeling an undercurrent of rejection and pain.   Somehow, I know we will get through this and
be better for it.  I know I will, I have
to and I hope that this new year has lots more kisses and warm fuzzies in store
for me.   I am still talking to Latin
Lover, but his life is stressful at the moment too.   So, I'm trying to just keep my focus on what is important today, and that's my son.

This is a season in my life that parenting has to come first
and it’s only temporary, so I’m going to pass through it and know that it’s all
falling into place the way it needs to.   I’ve come so far this year and I have so many
exciting things ahead, I know I’m close and I can see good things coming.   Thank you for being patient, I'd love to be able to write more but haven't had time off until this break.

I thank you so much for reading, for sending me good
thoughts and I hope your holiday season is wonderful!

Smooches,

The Single Mom