The Dating Game: Bachelor #3

 

Was my crappy luck in the dating game over or was it about
to change?   My date with Bachelor #1 was
awkward, Bachelor #2 was a good date but I didn’t go home with him and as a
result there wasn’t a date number 2.  So,
was the third man going to be the charm? 

My first date with Bachelor #3 was a casual lunch get
together that didn’t really even feel like a date.  We met on Twitter, chatted back and forth and
made a last minute lunch “date”.    I’d
just come from a job interview, was in a suit and was still decompressing from
the pressure of being grilled.  Heck, how
much more pressure should I put on myself than to have a first date right after
an interview?  Sheesh that’s a big ol’
stress sandwich.  

I enjoyed our lunch conversation and it was effortless.  We instantly seemed comfortable with each
other, asked “get to know you” questions peppered with a lot of random humor.   This date wasn’t long after the full court
press that Bachelor #2 put on me and so having a funny conversation with a man
was a welcomed surprise.   After lunch,
we hugged and talked about getting together and I looked forward to that.  I had a great time, we connected and it was
so low key, exactly what I needed.

As the next couple of days went by, we kept in touch but he wasn’t
making typical aggresive male moves.  He
casually asked me on a date for the next weekend.   We set a date for a movie and met at the
theatre on Saturday night.  I was very
relaxed to see him, getting ready was stress free, although I fixed my makeup
and hair for a date, I didn’t think much about what to wear. 

We met up, exchanged quick hugs and bought our tickets.   We also bought the monster trough of
popcorn, large enough to feed a small third world country.   Seating was limited, but we made our way
inside the comfy theatre and settled in for the show.   We hadn’t broken any kind of physical date
contact barriers yet and I could sense he was contemplating making the typical
arm around the shoulder move or some other similar gesture.   So, we exchanged casual chit chat through
the previews while I imagined he was planning a move.

It felt comfortable being with him, maybe too comfortable if
that’s possible.  After the other recent
dates and having to feel like I was defending myself it was nice to not have to
worry.  We exchanged quiet chit chat
during the previews and I playfully snuck bites of his popcorn.  

I felt relaxed and being with him was incredibly easy.   Once the movie started, I made a joke about
how he could do the pretend yawn move so that he could put his arm around
me.   Maybe it was me being a control
freak or maybe I wanted to rescue him from wondering if was going to be
ok.   He seemed happy to have the “green light” and
he moved the arm rest between us so that I could snuggle closer. 

It struck me as a little odd having this intimate kind of
physical contact with someone before having our first kiss, but it also felt
comfortable, like slipping on a favorite sweater.   We saw an action movie and enjoyed reacting
to the plot twists with each other.    My
feet were tucked under me, comfortably and his arm rested casually around my
waist, touching the bare skin between the waist of my jeans and my blouse.  It was a sensual feeling and certainly wasn’t
out of bounds for us being on just a second date.  

Once the movie ended, we made plans to have dinner at the
Irish Pub a block away, a place I’ve spent many evenings and was the setting of
many fun and romantic memories for me.   He arrived first and claimed a table in the
cozy library room.    We ordered dinner and drinks and immediately started
talking.  For some reason, tonight’s
conversation was much more serious.  

He
talked about his divorce and some serious health challenges he endured.  I listened intently and shared a little about
some things I’ve been through as well.  
However, I wasn’t expecting the evening to have such a serious tone,
unlike our first date.   I tried to
inject some humor and I wasn’t sure I hit the mark of the levity I tried for
because it felt like I might have offended him with my joking. 

I enjoy real conversations and I surely don’t want to
participate in superficial ones, but I wasn’t prepared for tonight to be so
heavy.  I wondered if he felt like he
wanted to disclose these details in the name of honesty, as a confession
requirement for a relationship, or if it was just something he felt like he
needed to talk about.   Either way, I
appreciated that he felt like he could trust me with such personal information
but I wondered if he still had some healing to do from his divorce, I wasn’t
sure.    It was such a serious conversation
that it wasn’t conducive to my typical flirty moves and charm, so I was
beginning to question if there was an attraction, it was difficult to decode.

We both had light dinners, finished the conversation on a
positive note, and we decided to call it a night.  He put his arm around me as he walked me to
my car in the crisp fall air.   It felt
more relaxed and I was wondering if he’d kiss me as we walked along the
sidewalk.   I pointed out my car and we
stopped in front of it to exchange goodbyes. 
He towered over me by more than a foot and our long hug soon became a
longer kiss, and then several more.   We
kissed long and passionately under the stars. 
  

His arms reached tightly around my waist as he pulled me close
to him as his kisses became intense.   I
felt his hands graze over my ass as he cupped me tightly against him as we
kissed.    I enjoyed kissing him and I felt wanted, as
my attraction for him was starting to increase.   His passion intensified as he grabbed my
head while his kisses became hot like fire in my mouth.  As we kissed, his fingers moved up through my
hair, grabbing the roots.  It was a sexy
moment and I became aware I was making an audible moaning sound, but I wasn’t
going to stop. 

A lot of thoughts were racing through my head as we kissed
and it felt good to know that we had physical chemistry since I generally liked
him as a person.   I was lost in the
feeling of being swept away by his kisses and as we stopped, I tried to talk
coherently, but it took me a few seconds to rattle myself back into the moment.

We ended the night with warm fuzzies, happy thoughts and
promises to see each other again soon.  Yet, after the date, we kept in touch but my
life took a swift turn down the 'ol toilet.   

My ex became a real ass to our youngest son and hasn’t
participated in his life since.  It’s
made me have to juggle everything and has reduced my social life down to the
bare bones, sadly.    Out of fairness, I
did give Bachelor #3 some basic details of the happenings of my life and I
understand if he decided to let things settle for awhile.   I’m
disappointed that we didn’t get to see more of each other but for the short
term, my main focus has to be on my son and getting him through this.   

It’s been a difficult emotional landscape for my son,
affected his grades tremendously and I’m also trying to balance it with my work
and my own challenges.   Honestly, it’s
been a challenge to be everything, pick him up from school when he’s sick, get
my work done, wearing all these hats has been a source of major stress.

I tried to make the holidays as celebratory as I could, but
I could sense my son was feeling an undercurrent of rejection and pain.   Somehow, I know we will get through this and
be better for it.  I know I will, I have
to and I hope that this new year has lots more kisses and warm fuzzies in store
for me.   I am still talking to Latin
Lover, but his life is stressful at the moment too.   So, I'm trying to just keep my focus on what is important today, and that's my son.

This is a season in my life that parenting has to come first
and it’s only temporary, so I’m going to pass through it and know that it’s all
falling into place the way it needs to.   I’ve come so far this year and I have so many
exciting things ahead, I know I’m close and I can see good things coming.   Thank you for being patient, I'd love to be able to write more but haven't had time off until this break.

I thank you so much for reading, for sending me good
thoughts and I hope your holiday season is wonderful!

Smooches,

The Single Mom

 

The Right Questions to Ask On a Date

The immense popularity of the Internet has made the concept of online dating a fairly common phenomenon in today's world. More and more people are looking to find partners online. Finding love online seems to grow with each passing day. Social networking sites, websites and dedicated chat online dating services are bringing like-minded more in the virtual world. However, online dating is not as simple as meeting someone in person. The virtual world poses different threats and all are a little worried. Then, it becomes extremely important to ask the right questions during meeting sessions online.

Ok. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. Now what? How do you begin to separate those who have real potential and those that have no potential at all? You need to find something about who this strange woman really is and not only those who want to believe it. It would be nice if women wore labels like "Gold Digger" or "Daddy's girl" .... but not so it's up to you to find these things and you can't just make direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady, if you decide to do so.

After you are past the initial small talk, I ask you: "what are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?" Listen carefully to your answers. Going to tell you a lot about herself and her opinions on men in General.

You should then ask: "What do you really think about online dating?" Now she will tell you if you have had bad experiences or encounters online and will help you avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important ..... "What caused the break in your relationship last?" If you put all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If you get all the same fault, you should probably do the same. If you say that the breakup was mutual consent or that the relationship wasn't right for neither, you have heard the answer. Move forward, but always with caution.

Make the right questions will give understanding and make you more confident when you meet the Lady for the first time.

Holiday Dating Tips

Even if you're not in honeymoon, sometimes you just want to go away with your loved one for a week fantastical or two in a luxury tourist resort. Whether you're getting away from children and pets just curious, there's no doubt that you want to improve your romance to this holiday special. Here are five of my favorite tips to help you get the maximum potential out of your love story luxury vacation special. Although not going on a luxury vacation, these tips can help you find a bit of romance in addition to your normal life as well.

Single & holidays do not always go together. That's why

Learn how to survive and thrive during the the holiday season is an important thing for singles to learn. Since the holidays are marketed to families, single people that are just are often made to feel like outsiders crashing a party. Talk about the holiday blues!

Christian single women and as men fearing yet another holiday season alone, you're probably struggling or thinking:

-Where are you going to spend your holidays in avoid loneliness

-How is unfair that another Christmas is come, and you're still single

-What are you going to say or do to those relatives who they ask you again because you are not married.

We all know that Christmas can be tricky when is dating. On the surface, it seems that the
ideal time to find that special someone, what with the social partners, offices, meeting places and mistletoe hung strategic (keep it clean guys). But Christmas is also a season tarnished by novelty knitted sweaters, socks, ties, strong Dad trinket earrings and shiny badges (and flashing lights by flashing the lights you want!) Along with snow, the winter climate is renowned for the drying of the skin, so be sure not to make the snow on your  dream So far this Christmas!

Festive cheer ... Smile! Remember to keep your spirits as winter approaches.

New year's Eve ranks up there as one of the more just the first three nights of the year if it is only, and not by choice. But don't worry- While it may be a well-kept secret-the truth
It is, most singles are at home alone or stand in with the family. That said, if you are home alone, don't despair, these tips are for you:

-Get your favorite pizza ordered and engage for a Friday night movie on DVD.

-Phone date. Call a friend for some parts of the country.

-Inviting other singles for more than a take-on dinner. The truth is that you probably have more fun with these friends that you would in a big shebang with people you don't know well at all.

But if none of that makes you feel better you have another chance:

-Get online! With the increasing popularity of Online dating, meet a member of the opposite sex has never been so easy. The days when men and women wrestling with the problem of finding a date for the Saturday night I went along. Now all you have to do is to spend a few hours online, maybe still less, and you can find a date immediately.

The biggest advantage of online dating is wide choice. How do you normally find an adequate person until today-via friends or family? Someone note to someone you know. Otherwise, you have to look to date strangers offline, for example, in a club. But this is risky, because nothing is known about each other and very first meeting is directed.

With online dating, you get a very wide choice. Leaving aside a few tricks, you can identify some eligible persons who can be dated by you provided are ready. You get to know their
profession, likes and dislikes and preferences a dating partner. That gives you plenty of
information about them. With further correspondence, you can learn more. And if you
be attentive and vigilant, you should be able to identify the liars among them. But even after that, you get a much bigger choice. Now you're not employee only by friends and family, but you can addressing a lot of people a lot of totally unknown that may be dated by you.

According to a yahoo, Personal Investigation, 40 percent of single women are asking Santa Claus to bring They someone to marry next year, while the 38 percent of single men are just hoping to get a hot date for new year's Eve. More than 1,000 individuals from around the country have offered insights into their wish lists for the holiday party dates, meeting parents, celebrity mistletoe meetings and more.

Willing to go it alone?

While 86 percent of singles are willing to go to a holiday party alone, nearly half (43 percent) admitted that it's sad to be single during the holidays.

Singles in the Midwest are the most likely to stay home if they don't have a date to a holiday party.

Are you feeling down about being single this holiday season and wishing you could just go into suspended animation till January 1st... or make that February 15th? You are not alone, because there are a lot of men online that are waiting to know you better. You will have an absolutely great time and you may find the special one.

The Dating Game... 3 New Eligible Bachelors...

For those of you who email/tweet/Facebook me with advice
about my dating life, I hear one criticism frequently – that I need to stop
dating ex’s and date NEW men.  I
appreciate any feedback and in this case I completely agree and I have been
trying to do that… well except for the recent date with “Latin Lover”.   That date was somewhat one of curioisity and
well not gonna sugarcoat it, down and dirty Miss naughty pants stuff. 

Yet, I know that I need to open up (carefully) to new men
and have been taking baby steps doing that. 
I just haven’t been able to catch you up until now on how that’s been
going and what new ways I’ve gotten my ass kicked by it.   Yay, go me! 
Meh.  

There have been some fun dates, first kisses, good guys,
attraction and mixed signals, maybe even from me.   Admittedly, I’m not great at navigating
through these murky waters of dating and it has probably made all this more
complicated because I’m trying to resolve the feelings that have come to the
surface after seeing Latin Lover again.

I’m trying to keep a frame of mind about Latin Lover that
I’m just going to let whatever is going to happen to be and not get too excited
about it.   Usually this delusion lasts
about 3 seconds and in my mind the next moment we are running across a field of
daisies, toward each other, arms outstretched (which other than not knowing
where a field of daisies is, it  could
totally happen).   

However, I recently went on a dating spree.  All these dates happened within the same
week, which was probably not a good idea in and of itself.   There were some good moments, nice first
kisses and well of course awkward moments too…

Bachelor #1

I started talking to a few men on Twitter, which has been
such a bad decision in the past.  It
isn’t Twitter, it is that my “persona” on Twitter is maybe a little bit of a fantasy.  That isn’t to sound like I think too much of
myself, but 90% of my tweets are from naughty, shiny side of me.    I
think the expectation is that I always cook in my heels and talk dirty 24/7
(almost true, but not exactly, lol).

I did meet a man on Twitter though who was really sincere, a
writer himself and broken.   We started
sending messages back and forth and my role early seemed to be consoling
him.  The first time we talked on the phone
we totally hit it off and talked for 4 hours into the wee hours of the morning.
  It was a powerful, connected
conversation.  It did go near “Dirtytown”
and unfortunately I think that’s where this train wrecked and burned, burning
alive all the passengers inside. (not to be too dramatic, or anything)

I also made a “Rookie Mistake” which I shouldn’t have.  I know better.    I was a dumbass and met him at his
place.   Fortunately, he wasn’t one of “those guys” but
I know he wanted that to happen and he became awkward and uncomfortable.  Maybe it was just normal nerves but
unfortunately it triggered a horrible flashback in my past.   We went on with the date, went to cute little
spot near his apartment and went through the motions.   Unfortunately, there was just no way for me
to pull myself out of this emotional funk. 
We ended the night with good intentions to see each other and a good
night kiss, but I just wanted to hibernate.   As soon
as I got home, I went straight to bed, pulled the covers over my head and cried
thinking of my past hurts and that feeling lingered for a couple of days.

It wasn’t his fault at all, it was probably more mine.  However, I don’t really think the timing was
good for him and I have to chalk it up to a learning experience.

Bachelor #2

He saw me on a dating site and emailed the hell outta
me.   I didn’t have a membership so I
could only send him one email, which I did after about 5 from him, giving him
my personal email address.   He seemed a
little like a pompous jerk and although I couldn’t even read everything he sent
me, it seemed to be driving him bat shit crazy that I wasn’t emailing him.    Once
the email correspondence started, he revealed a side of him that was sweet,
vulnerable and overall not-assholeish.  

We texted and clicked. 
Clearly, he was really falling for my goofiness and dorkiness -- it’s my
tractor beam that sucks them in every time. 
Pity, really.   Just kiddin, but I
was starting to let my guard down with him and share more about myself.  We had some favorite songs in common and it
opened the door for some inside jokes and cute flirting.   We were careful not be too flirty and
it seemed like our first date was going to be one for the books.   Before we even went out, he was setting up
our second date and dropped hints of taking me along to Chicago for a business
trip with him the following week.   I
have to admit, it didn’t suck.

For our first date, he planned an innocent date that would
have been “Leave it to Beaver” approved --  indoor mini golf near my house.  When he got there he made sure to be obvious
by texting me to look out for his BMW in the parking lot, which this was one of
several overt references he made to his financial success.   *Gag*    

Anyhoo, the date was fun. 
He seemed nervous to meet me and in an attempt to impress me tried to show
off his mini golf swag.   Whenever he
could, he stood near me and I could tell he was attracted to me, which was nice
to know early.   He was dark and handsome, but not as confident
as I would have liked. However, I was beginning to like him in person.

After golfing, we headed outside on the cold night and had
our first kiss.   He was a little
nervous, grabbed my head and kissed me hard. 
The kiss led to several more and they were passionate.   After
a few minute kissing sesh, he leaned up against his BMW to lay the ol’ sales
pitch on me for me to come to his house to continue the evening.  It was about as subtle as the moment on “The
Bachelor” when there is an envelope inviting the other to the fantasy suite for
the evening and both people know what’s about to go down.

I couldn’t be out late because it was a work/school night
for one.  Second, I was not about to go
to his house on a first date.  He
insisted that he wasn’t going to push intimacy and that nothing would happen
that wasn’t a good idea.   I didn’t want
the date to end, so I offered that instead we have a drink at a nearby pub and
continue the night.    He wouldn’t have
it and tried his best to persuade me.  
Neither one of us budged so we parted for the night with a lot of kisses
and date number two planned for the next night.  

The next day just so happened to be election day and not a
good financial day for Bachelor #2, as he is a Financial Planner.   He texted me to cancel the date and was a
total a-hole about how he lost a lot of money in the market that day and lashed
out at me.   I was done.  

He didn’t try to apologize or even backpedal.  I think his ego was so bruised from me
“rejecting” his offer to come to his place that he just couldn’t get over it,
I’m not sure.  However, I was sure that
he wasn’t the one for me.

Next time:  Bachelor
#3… two dates, attraction but maybe some mixed messages… 

 

Thanks for reading!

Smooches,

 

The Single Mom