You Might Be Too Perfect

Brent (from the Double Your Dating Meeting Women Online program) has a company called Absolute Power Dating and hits on some misunderstood points in this email.

You're a good looking guy, have great hair, hip clothes, flashy car, you're successful in business and you know all the right people; you even have no noticeable, nervous twitching.

Let's say that none of this is over the top and you're not using all these things as crutches. Basically, you think you have your act together.

So why do you still have problems attracting women, holding the attraction and getting them not to flake? Even after they've shown initial interest by approaching you, telling you they're interested and getting together with you for mind-blowing physical activity? I bet you never thought that you might have it TOO together for
them.

Here's what I mean:

You might be too perfect. Women want to nurture and fix you. When they're with you they try to imagine where they would fit into your life and what they would help you with. You've provided them with nothing to fix...you're ALREADY fixed. You might also be doing something relationship oriented that's giving them the 'go signal' to
have those thoughts in the first place. Women rarely do that with me. They know the deal and don't consider any other possibilities.

Here are a couple of other reasons directly from women:

* "You are a good looking guy, its because we're afraid we'll get hurt, its a defense mechanism we have because we have been burned so many times."

* "I really like you and I like being around you, but I am moving so I am trying my best NOT to see you, I am sorry I am just scared."

Believe it!

This is not a lack of attraction but you might be scaring them; they're actually intimidated by you. All this time you actually had higher status.

The good news is that you're much more powerful and attractive than you originally thought. It makes total sense that they would fear you. Remember, the hotter they are, the lower their self-esteem and the average looking men they date cheat on them less (they think). Whereas with you, they assume that every woman feels as THEY do
around you so you must get physical with all of them and they're threatened by this.

Now, I'm not saying that you should do anything different, just be aware of it!

Brent

Warm Read, Cold Reads, and Creating Instant Connections

There's a lot of stuff out there on "cold-reading" people, like using the most-common psychic reads to tell someone things about themselves they didn't think you knew.

And those are great for carny tricks. Yes, you're psychic, and wow, aren't I amazed. Do it again!

It's like making balloon animals.

And you don't want to make balloon animals for the girls you want to fuck, do you? No, you want a real connection, real intimacy, a real trust that leads to really great sex. The realer it is, the hotter it is, so why waste time playing around.

But how do you create a real connection? The trick is not to just figure her out cold and then diagnose... that makes her separate from you, not connected.

The trick is to have yourself figured out first, and then sniff out the things that you see in her that are the same. That connects you. That's the stuff that great love stories are made of. The stories she keeps secret in her heart forever, because it doesn't happen very often.

You see something special in her, because you see it in yourself, and that is why you are meant to be.

Sounds weird, right? Well, let's get into how to do it.

Here's the best way to do it.

Not the easiest, not the trickiest, but best. It takes work, commitment and practice, but once you start doing it, you will see yourself change fundamentally, and see your world open up.

It's not warm reading or cold reading. It's RELATING to someone else by seeing something kind of hidden in them that you kind of hide in yourself. And it comes from listening carefully to all the signals you get, and then taking a crazy chance.

Lance calls it the "Hail Mary."

Here's how you start. At any point in conversation with a woman, just stop, look at her, and say "it's weird, but you really seem to be X, but I have this sense you are actually Y. I'm the same way."

Then you fill in the blanks with whatever sense you get from her that truly reminds you of yourself. It can be anything. Just start listening to your instincts, and stop looking for shortcuts and tricks. The thing with the shortcuts is they won't tell you anything real about her, and she won't know anything about you. However, you can have just ONE strong thing about yourself that you try on everyone.

Some guys use "you like a creative person, but not in a creative job."

Some guys use "you seem like a party person, but really have a quiet side."

I like "everyone thinks you have it all figured out and under control, but really you're still wandering a little bit, and excited about not having the answers yet."

And they all work great, because they all are strong identities for US.

That may be the key. We use this exercise extensively in Art of Rapport, and it produces amazing insights. You really just need to focus in on what you feel most true for yourself, and then pronounce it for her. You're telling her why it was really fate that brought you two together.

If you don't have something deep and a little secret in common, than you can't really believe this was meant to be. It still may be, but it's just for fun. But when you can both see a little into each others' secret worlds, only a passionate relationship makes sense.

And that's what you really want.

- Sean

Clever Little Online Trick

I had the coolest experience on Myspace the other day, had a date with her today. I used this tactic Neil reveals in David Deangelo's Meeting Women Online program. Just thought I would share that with you, and I'll tell you more about it Monday. I've got plans right now.

D

19 Year Old Girl Gives It Up For Shoes

I loved this email from Lance today. Awesome.

-Donovan

"What do I *really* look for in a guy?"

K. is 19. Hot. I mean, walk-down-the-street and cars veer off the road hot. And she enjoys it. She's the kind of young girl that makes men happy just to look at.

She was the perfect girl to get this secret from. What are the hotties really after?

"Yeah, not what you are supposed to look for. I mean, really, what gets your attention?"

She looked down at the floor, then back up at me, and smiled.

"You know what I really look for? A normal guy. A normal guy... with nice shoes."

"That's it?"

"You have any idea how hard that is to find?" she asked. "If I could just find that, I would be the envy of every girl in San Francisco. Yep. That's the top of the mountain right there."

Normal guy with nice shoes. Huh. You'd really think it would be more detailed than that, or maybe like the guy would have to have a chiseled six-pack, or drink a certain light beer, or have 20 minutes of great stories with famous people, or be famous people.

Or fight dragons and breathe fire, or something.

Normal guy. Nice shoes? That's it? Anyone can do that, right?

Well, yes and no.

See, when it comes to attracting women, lots of guys think it's really hard. You know, you've got to get everything just right and basically "trick" her into thinking you're attractive long enough to get what you want.

Well, that's the way little boys think, anyways.

The truth is, as men know, that attracting women is either easy, or next-to-impossible.

If you have the attractive traits that women look for, it's easy. But if you don't, you can work and work and work, but you'll never get the choice with women you want.

See, girls live in a different world than we do. It's nice there... it looks pretty, and smells like flowers and bath salts. But it has a lot to do with fashion.

Women use fashion to establish and maintain the social order. And the more status a woman has, the more critical the correct fashion is.

A hottie needs a guy who looks right. When she looks at you, she immediately thinks of you as a giant Ken doll she can dress up and take places and show off to her friends.


And if you don't look like you can dress the way she wants, the way that fits her life, she can't take a chance on you.

She needs to know that you are the kind of guy who dates girls like her. That's how she knows you will be appropriate to her. She wants someone who matches. Why?

Because then you will understand her.

Girls do not want to waste time explaining to men what's important. No one wants a fixer-upper. They want a house that's already really nice and comfy and clean, and they can
move right in and start showing it off to their friends.

Comprende, Senor?

And there's one other little secret about shoes that NO ONE else knows, but I'll tell you, because, you know, I like you and want you to do well.

She looks to see how clean your shoes are to figure out how clean you are.

Here, there, and everywhere.

Yes, she's thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you pretty much from the start. But she's also thinking "will it be fun and crazy and sexy, or will it be gross and slovenly and uncomfortable?"

Guess which one she's gonna pick if you're wearing beat-up, smelly old sneakers?

So what to do?

If you don't know fashion, start asking. You don't have to be Project Runway-level expert,
but you can't make mistakes.

And every guy makes them. I used to. And it wasn't until I put out my Dress For Success Program and actually taped the process of making over 5 guys that I saw how far I'd come.

I took all my years of experience and put it into this one DVD set so any man could watch and finally understand what his style has been telling women all these years.

If you don't know what your style says now, you need to figure it out.

After all, K. is still out there looking for that normal guy.

And you know the first thing she's looking at, and it's not your big... bank account.

Now, get out there and meet some women!

Your friend,

Lance Mason

Sexual Technique

I've had some requests for what I would suggest is a great tool to increase your sexual skills, and how to help cultivate an orgasmic relationship.

I recommend a product that Thundercat also endorses.

Secret Orgasm Tips

Donovan

Calibration

The problem with most of the community is the idea of being "alpha". I had a friend in New York City that was too alpha. Here are some signs that you are acting too alpha (which is actually NOT alpha at all). I was talking to Style the other day (Neil Strauss) and we realized that one of the biggest downfalls of the community is the tendenacy for guys to have this problem of being TOO alpha.

1. Talking over people during a normal conversation
2. Never compromising in conversation (Your always right)
3. Making statements that really have no real reason to be in the conversation (Eg. overty DHVing which actually hurts your chances more)
4. Too MUCH cocky and funny (Too many statements of cocky and funny turn you into a loser that's supplicating)

All of these problems come from a single source: a lack of calibration. Not toning down the conversation, or revving up the conversation when it needs to be. Being cocky when you needed to be sincere.

Lets work on this guys.
D

30 Days to a Better Life

No one starts pickup totally comfortable talking to strangers. But it's something you have to get used to.

At PickUp 101, we have a number of exercises and regimens we have our clients use to prepare for workshops and follow-up to make sure the changes stick. Here's one anyone can start using right away.

It's a low-risk way to get yourself comfortable and get past the idea that strangers are to be feared FOREVER.

Do this, and you will never have a problem with approach anxiety again.

This workout routine can work for ANYONE who's spending more time thinking than doing. You won't turn into a magic pickup guru overnight like others may promise. But you will get happier and more social and more comfortable with girls than you could have ever imagined in ONE MONTH. That's all. Not years. ONE MONTH.

Ready?

You are not to go to any bars or clubs for the next month. At all. You may go to pubs with your friends, but no "sarging." No bars. Nothing.

What you will do is make changes daily. Here's how.

For the next month, I want you to take a 30-minute walk every day. Pick a neighborhood that's easy to get to from home or work, and go there at about the same time every day. Ideally pick a place you can walk right after work. It can be a street with shops, or a park. But it must be a place where people are about.

When you are on your walk, you nod to yourself and keep repeating under your breath "i'm going to look silly but i'm going to have fun." Just do it.

Now comes the crucial part. When you walk past a woman, ANY woman, smile, look up at her and say "Hello." That's it. Just greet her. She does not have to say anything back. These are the simple steps to get you out of your head.

You have that goal. Now the next thing to look for is a woman, any woman, who is not walking. Do the same thing. Walk up and say "Hello." Wait until she says "Hello" back, then when she does, introduce yourself.

She will then tell you her name, and then you immediately tell her how you take a walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you're quite shy, and are learning how to just enjoy small talk and getting to know people.

Do NOT run any routines or try anything else. Just have a conversation about how you have trouble having conversations. I want you to be totally honest and sincere. And if she joins the conversation, that's great. Keep talking. If she has something to do that prevents her from talking, that's fine as well. Wish her a good day and move on.

To review, here is your homework for the next month.

1) 30-minute walk, rain or shine, EVERY DAY.
2) walk in a place where there are people about
3) When walking, nod your head a little and repeat to yourself "i may look silly but i'm going to have fun talking to people."
4) When walking past people, smile and say "Hello" to one person. It does NOT matter if they say Hello back or even look up.
5) The first woman you see on your walk, stop and greet her with a smile and "Hello." Then introduce yourself politely and ask her name. When she tells you her name, tell her you like to walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you are quite shy, and learning how to be social and enjoy small talk.
6) Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
7) No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
8) Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did. One check for walking for 30 minutes. One check for everyone you greeted with a hello. One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with.
9) When you see you have three checks, celebrate. Go to your favorite pub and watch the game with your buds. Order your favorite food. Give yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.

Give me 30 days of this, and you will have a better life. I give you my word.