The Long Awaited Reunion with "Latin Lover"

Thanks for your kind words and patience during my
silence.  It feels great to be
missed.   Suffice it to say that I’m struggling
to take care of everything, the boys, working on short term projects,
looking for long term work and trying to juggle the parenting demands.   However,
I have been on several dates over the past month, and this is one of them,
about 2 weeks ago.  This date is my
reunion with “Latin Lover”, the man I was smitten with last summer…

It didn’t seem real, even as I looked at his text saying “I
can’t wait to see you tonight”, I could see more reasons that something would
happen to cancel tonight’s date than I could see it really happening.  Or, I could see it happen but me embarrassing
myself, like trying to make a sexy entrance and falling -- creating a Chevy
Chase entrance instead, like I have done before, seriously.

You have to first understand that men like “Latin Lover” don’t
happen to women like me.  He’s incredibly
good looking, charming and sexy.   I’m
confident about myself, but there is still a huge part of me who is the awkward
girl in middle school who relied on her sense of humor to make friends and to
eventually catch the eye of Jr. High boys.

As a little girl, my mom read The Ugly Duckling over and
over to me.  Looking back now, I wonder
if she hoped someday beauty would find me and I’d have a triumphant ending like
the duckling.   I’m in my forties now and
I feel confident and sexy but I know my limitations and I see my flaws (like
all of us). Yet I’m at an age where I don’t give a rat’s rear what other people
think about me, good or bad.   Over the
past year, I’ve worked hard to lose weight and have even started running
again.  My confidence has started to
swell but unfortunately my “assets” have been shrinking.

If anything, now the timing was fantastic for a reunion with
Latin Lover, I feel great and I’m in a good place emotionally.   When the chance came to go to his city for a
meeting, my hand was the first one in the air. 
I gladly volunteered to drive the almost 2 hours to “Latinloverland” and
attend a meeting for our team.   I took a
huge breath, typed a text to him asking him if he was free Thursday night that
I’d be in town and hit “send”. 

 I didn’t really
expect an answer from him right away, since I had to cancel plans with him just
a few months ago, twice.    I was physically sick from the disappointment
of not getting to see him, but there were things going on in my boys’ life that
I had to deal with.

 I put the phone down,
and didn’t look at it for about a half an hour to get some things done and was
prepared for whatever answer came… or didn’t come.   My message light was blinking red and I held
my breath as I opened his text.  I had to
read it twice to make sure it was true and let out a happy squeal when he said he’d
love to see me.

The next couple of days I had daydreams about seeing him
again, wondering what it would be like and trying to not be nervous, trying is
about all I could shoot for.    It had
been a year and a few months since we’d seen each other.   When we met our connection was instant and
I’ve never felt anything even close to it.  
I was instantly attracted to him, genuinely liked him and we were very
physical for a first date.   I NEVER let my
guard down like that and probably made a bit of an ass of myself telling him
so. 

We saw each other a few times last summer and each time was
perfect, from start to finish. Unfortunately, this incredible attraction wasn’t
enough to compete with both of our busy parenting schedules, work schedules and
trying to squeeze moments of life in the remaining cracks.    I
didn’t take it well and said some cranky things to him when we said
goodbye.  Eventually, we started texting
again and I was thrilled just to be able to have any contact with him.

We kept in touch, barely and it was fun reminiscing about
our past sexy moments, easily the sexiest moments of my life.    Fantasies of him were never far from my
mind and I could remember just about every detail of our time together, what he
wore, what I wore, everything. 

I was feeling stressed, could think of 10 things I needed to
check off my “to do” list more than extend this day and see him, but I told
myself that if he could still see me that I deserved this time, these few hours
with him.   I resolved to be in a great
mood and make sure to make sure I was great company for him. 

I dressed for the meeting but also did pre-date preparations
and even enjoyed the extra “beauty chores”. 
I enjoyed shaving my legs envisioning him touching them, and I took
extra care moisturizing every inch of my skin. 
I wore a suit but added some feminine details and even wore thigh highs
and a lacy garter belt as a surprise.

Today as I began the drive to see him, I felt giddy when I
saw the sign showing the distance to his city. 
I was excited to finally be heading to see him and yet it almost still
didn’t seem real.   As I drove to see
him, I grew more excited as the numbers marking the miles counted down and yet
the cynical voice in my head kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and for
him to have to cancel.    

I found my way to my meeting place at the busy shopping
center, ironically the same one that he and I met at last summer.  I had to force myself to stop letting my fantasies
carry me totally away from the humdrum meeting.   Unfortunately, it was boring and it made the
time drag even longer.  After it was over
I still had an hour to kill and dashed into a couple of stores to try to pass
this time, but I couldn’t shake the nervous anticipation.

I jumped when my text chime went off.  My pulse began to race as I took a deep
breath and read his words.   He asked me
where I was and I was so relieved to know he wasn’t cancelling tonight.     He
told me to go the French restaurant and he’d be there in a few.   I texted back oui oui and circled around
happily wasting time looking for it. 

I found a place to park took a few more moments to primp and
made my way to the restaurant.    I ran into the restaurant to adjust my thigh
highs trying to feel normal wearing them, but really felt dorky.   He texted me to please order his drink, and I
was happy to sit and order, claiming the last two chairs at the crowded
bar. 

It was relaxing to have a change of scenery to be away from
my hometown and to see completely unfamiliar faces, it almost felt like being
on vacation.   I tried to convince myself
that tonight was really happening but it still seemed so hard to believe.   Latin Lover and our nights together have
become a recurring fantasy reel in my mind and I wondered if time exaggerated our
connection if maybe the chemistry was just a summer fling.  

My mind slipped back to our first date and what I thought
about as I waited for him.  I wasn’t
nervous that first night, not completely knowing what to expect and yet tonight
I was more nervous because I DID know what to expect.  He is gorgeous, charming and someone who I
felt instantly comfortable being around, yet he’s so good looking that he can
rattle even me.   I remembered the moment
he walked in on our first date, greeted me so warmly with a quick kiss on the
mouth.   I was smitten with him from that
first second and something about him wouldn’t let me go, even after all this
time.

My mind also raced to our kissing sessions and how the
passion carried us away.   The bartender interrupted my impure memories
and I know I had a dirty smirk on my face as I tried to order the cocktails.  Our drinks quickly came and I drank mine in
an attempt to calm my nerves. 

A few minutes later, he came in like a fireball and hugged
me, tightly.   I enjoyed his embrace,
closed my eyes and breathed his cologne in deeply, which made the memories of
him appear even more vivid in my mind.  I
tightened my arms around him as he planted kisses on my neck.  

It finally was real to me, HE was really here, now in the
chair next to me and we were both grinning from ear to ear, the joy on our faces
had to be obvious to anyone.  I tried to
hide the fact that my hands were shaking, but I’m not sure I completely pulled
it off.  We instantly started catching up
and didn’t stop, having so much to tell each other and we covered just about
everything from the daily grind, our kids and even sex.  

He asked me a lot about my writing and was disappointed to
hear that I was having to backburner it to deal with the demands of life.   He
encouraged me to continue doing it and to keep pursuing that dream.  It meant so much to hear him say this but I
explained that it’s just not possible right now, sadly.

As we were talking, the eye contact was intense and we were
constantly touching.   There were a few
times that he just paused and said “I can’t believe you’re really here, I just
can’t believe it.”   Kissing was a
pleasant break between conversations and it felt so great to have his mouth on
mine again.  

We were able to go from breezy topics to deep ones, with
ease.    We shared a lot and the time we
had been apart was irrelevant, we didn’t miss a beat in the intimacy we
had. 

He was just as gorgeous as I remembered although he did seem
tired and stressed.   However, he was
sweet and attentive to me.  He made sure
I had what I needed and was comfortable and took random breaks to kiss my neck,
hand, wrist or touch my leg.    Although we were in the bar of a crowded
restaurant, we were oblivious to anyone around us, except the occasional
interruption from the bartender.   The happiness on our faces was probably more
than obvious and with the kissing, probably borderline obnoxious to those
around us.

Sitting next to him, I felt happier than I have in a very
long time, I thoroughly enjoyed staring into his eyes and savoring his beauty
as we talked. 

He said he’d like to see me more, even talked about us
taking a getaway trip.   It was a
thrilling thought but I didn’t want to think about it too much and get my hopes
up.    The time flew by and the kissing
started to overtake the conversation. 
His hand moved up my smooth leg and he took a momentary break from
kissing me to flash me a naughty smirk when he discovered the lacy garter on my
thigh.   

His hand moved recklessly up the side of my skirt and it
made me feel like the entire bar could see my ass.   I gasped and chided him for a second but
laughed it off quickly.  Gesturing the bartender
for the check was his obvious next move.  We quickly paid and walked the path quickly to
the front door.

I noticed how beautiful the scenery outside the restaurant
was now that it was dark.  There was a
lake, lit beautifully and the sound of the running waters from the fountain
completed the scene for our passionate kissing. 
Everything about kissing him felt so right and I was so estatic to be
with him again.   The night was chilly
and we started walking towards my car, hand in hand.   

I knew we didn’t have much time because I had to be home and
I knew his son was expecting him too.  This time with him was perfect so far and I
couldn’t have written a better night with him, except if we could have been
together all night long.    

We stole a few semi private sexy moments in the parking lot
outside my car.   He kissed the few bits
of bare skin he could get away with and I enjoyed receiving his affections.  His passion and the way he kisses is a totally
different feeling than I’ve ever felt because it’s obvious he thoroughly adores
a woman. When I’m with him, I feel adored, worshiped almost in his presence.  

The night’s chill forced us into my car and it wasn’t long
before the windows were covered in steam.    Any
doubt I had earlier today that our passion was fleeting, was long gone
now.   We reluctantly said our goodbyes and talked
about seeing each other again.    It took
about 3 times for us to be able to finally say goodbye and it was difficult to watch
him finally walk to his car when the night was over.  

The night was perfect and I didn’t want to think about the
future too much.  I enjoyed the long car
ride home replaying this night, feeling peaceful and so happy to have seen him
again, hopeful for the future but just enjoying the moment for what it was.

Thank you for reading! 

Smooches,

The Single Mom

Good First Date Tips

1. Have a support plan. If you thought going to the beach time can change, the site where you thought go may be closed for renovation work, even your tickets for a concert not always let you access it... For all these reasons and many more... it is very useful to have an alternative plan in mind, for the case for your appointment to take an unexpected course.

2. Schedule a short appointment. It begins with a simple quote from 1-2 hours. If things go well, you can always extend longer appointment. However, there nothing worse than a planned day of appointment and five minutes to realise there is no future ahead.

3. Be punctual. There is no greater sign of lack of respect (or interest) which arrive late at your first appointment. Get directions with time, arrives early, and demonstrates your appointment that you care, he or she and the plans that you have done.

4. Dress properly. If you've been to go to something special somewhere... sympathetically talk about the dress code that is going to take your partner. Put you agree (or deploy warn you how are you going). There is nothing more embarrassing if one occurs in formal attire and the other in jeans.

5. Get compliments, but it passes you. A few kind words make everybody feel special, but persistent comments about the appearance of the other person, your body, your personality, etc. are ancient and they may seem desperate...

6. Not passes you in the drink... A few drinks can help reduce the tension of the appointment, but do not think that you're in a party of former colleagues... Drinking too much is probably take out little attractive aspects of your personality and not help you in your chances.

7. Keep a balance between what you talk and listen. Pay attention to the amount of time that raisins speaking versus that raisins listening. If you err in a direction that is to listen to...

8. Do not talk of past amorous experiences. Things like "to my ex loved this or another..." They demonstrate insecurity and lack of tact.

9. Leave for later deep conversations. Our advice is to not talk about on your first date sex, religion, political, disappointments, personal problems... The aim is that the other had it is great. And make you laugh your colleague a lot. Devises a plan to have fun and have fun. The depths of life already come little by little.

The Chilly Days after the Steamy Night with "Man Candy"

As the “morning after” went on, I started to come down from
the emotional high of waking up next to Man Candy and all the happy flashbacks
of the night before started to be replaced with questions.   I started to wonder what did last night
mean, what would happen next and was he starting to have deeper feelings for
me. 

I tried to toss these thoughts out
of my mind and just try to enjoy the rush, but it became harder and harder as
the hours passed.    An image of our steamy night, bathed in salty kisses and intense lovemaking flashed in my memory, but just as quickly, it was replaced by an uneasy feeling of thinking I'd made a mistake.  My body was washed over in pleasure and I enjoyed smelling his cologne linger on my skin, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.

We kept in touch, not much change in our communication
patterns and I consciously tried to not be a “girl” and dig deep into his
feelings or probe him for any change in our closeness.    I
read and reread every text three or four times to try to sniff out a hidden
meaning or some hint of closeness, only to find nothing to hang hope on. 

We met the next Sunday afternoon to watch football.  It was a beautiful day with clear blue skies
and the first day that the breezes started to feel more like fall and at the same
time that summer was slipping away fast.  
The place we met was a local spot that we met up for beers last winter.  Today, we went outside and were seated on an
outdoor patio surrounded by lively football fans, cheering on their team and
downing wings and beers.   



The mood was cheerful and we enjoyed the
sunshine on our faces and being able to see the football game from
outdoors.  We had beers, snacks and enjoyed the game.  During commercials, we chatted about our
usual subject matter, kids, work, sports but nothing of any depth.     After the game, I decided to get home to
get a jump start on the week ahead.  
There were groceries to buy and the boys’ laundry to fold and put away.   I was enjoying my time with Man Candy but
there really didn’t seem to be a reason to stay. 

Our conversation seemed more forced than normal and although
it was comfortable it just didn’t seem like we were cutting through basic small
talk.   We said our goodbyes and I made my way back
through the crowded bar to the entrance.  
As I walked to my car, it began to irritate me that he didn’t walk me
out and kiss me goodbye. 

I had a 20 minute drive home to think about this more and I
became more irritated.  When I came to my
exit, I pulled over at the first parking lot and texted him how he seemed distant
today and I didn’t understand why.   I
put my car in drive and began to roll forward when I received his reply.  He seemed angry and told me I was nuts and that
he was just his normal self.    I fired back that he could have walked me out
and kissed me goodbye and thought it was odd that he didn’t.   

His reply was that he was sorry and it wasn’t
intentional.    I accepted his apology but started to realize
that we were in two completely different places emotionally.   I had to realize that I couldn’t expect him
to have some kind of spiritual connection with me during a football game, but I
didn’t want to feel like a piece of furniture either. 

During the next week, he seemed a little more distant than
normal and I realized he probably wasn’t going to develop deeper feelings for
me.   I knew if I wanted to hang out with
him, watch a game and share some beers, I was in luck.  However, if I wanted to have the closeness
that we used to have, it didn’t seem possible. 

The next few days passed along without incident.  On Friday, we didn’t have any plans for the
weekend and out of frustration I sent him a text that afternoon that I wanted
to talk.   He called me right away and I took a walk to
overlook the river to take his call.  He was
concerned about what I had to say and encouraged me to talk.  

I explained that I didn’t see us moving in a
forward direction and that I was frustrated and disappointed.   He opened up about some issues about his son
and his ex that have been taking his attention the past few days.  There had been some drama and they had been
going back and forth about homework and schedules. 

I took this time to tell him some observations about his ex
that I’ve been keeping to myself for weeks.  
I basically unloaded how I felt she was using him and controlling his
life and I was probably too blunt.  It
bothered me how this was going on and I finally spilled my guts about it.  He was quiet for a few moments which seemed
much longer than they really were.  

He agreed with everything that I said and thanked me for
bringing it all to his attention.   He
saw a new reality that somehow he’d been denying all along and he couldn’t
argue with anything I said.  I apologized
for saying it the way I did, but that I wanted him to be able to make
changes.    This opened up a whole new
conversation and I told him that I was here to help him in any way I could and
that I wished he’d told me what had been happening.     

It felt like we had made some real progress and it felt like
we were almost like a team and he trusted my opinion.   He
asked if he could see me tonight after work and I invited him to come along
with my colleagues after we finished and have some beers with us.  He said he’d text me and that he was looking
forward to the evening. 

I checked my phone several times and his text finalizing our
plans never came.  I went ahead with my
plans and enjoyed chatting with my coworkers after an intense week.    It was a relief that the long week was
finally behind us and the drinks were taking the edge off of the past few
days.    I texted him simply, “WTH?”  and before I could put the phone down, it
rang. 

Of course it was him calling to tell me that he was feeling
depressed and couldn’t force himself to go out like he originally planned.   It was
so loud in the bar and I wasn’t going to continue to have a conversation with
him while I could be having fun with my friends.   He clearly wasn’t putting in the same effort
and I wasn’t going to let it bother me.  
I told him we’d talk later and I continued enjoying time with my
friends.   It affected me and it hurt my feelings,
because I started to hope that we had turned a corner, but deep down, I didn’t
count on it either. 

I spent the next day cleaning, organizing and tossing out
stuff.  I’m not sure why, but during
emotional times like this, I clean out my closet, maybe I just feel like I need
to regain control of something, anything so I took my frustration out for “Man
Candy” out on my innocent walk in closet. 
  

Later that evening, I met a girlfriend for appetizers and a
drink to replay the past few days and get her opinion.  She listened and agreed that there didn’t seem
to be any reason to think he’d change and that I should stop communicating with
him.

That night, when I got home, I was beyond worn down.  I was both drained and physically exhausted.   As I slipped into bed, I texted “Man Candy” a
simple goodbye, telling him that I care about him but it’s time to part
ways.    It wasn’t necessary to talk again and rehash
everything, it was clear where we both stood and that there wasn’t a point of
dragging it out longer.  

He apologized for sending me mixed messages and I was a
little bitchy with my response.   I know
he didn’t mean to hurt me but he still did and that it didn’t make it hurt less.   My anger was pushing my sadness down and I
was still feeling bitchy, not sad.    He said goodbye and that he’ll miss me
too.   I read his words several times but
I couldn’t cry, I just mocked his text repeating his words in a sarcastic
tone.  I knew it was immature, but it was
easier than feeling disappointment and rejection.

I texted my other best friend, a guy who is much younger
than me, but somehow we are incredibly close. 
I knew he’d be working the late shift and that he’d know just what to
say to comfort my battered heart.    He immediately returned my text and was
incredibly sweet, offering to talk if I needed to.    I
thanked him for being so sweet but I didn’t feel like talking.  

I then sent a couple of pathetic, whiny texts about what
happened and how sad I was that it ended up like this.  I was aware of how lame I was and he texted
me back with a perfect response.   He
told me that I’m a beautiful woman inside and out and that “Man Candy” would
someday realize what a great woman he lost.  
Although it was a “textbook” reply, it still touched me profoundly and
my eyes started to fill with tears, finally. 

I thanked him for saying that and sent him a short and sweet
text back.   My tears were flowing and I
could barely see enough to read anymore.  
My eyes closed and I let the tears stream down my face.   Although he texted me a couple more sweet texts, I
didn’t see them until morning because I was already asleep…  dreaming a new dream.



Thank you so much for reading!!!



Smooches,



The Single Mom





Sorry I've been out of action for so long, life has been incredibly busy and stressful.   I'm in the thick of looking for a new job and it's been a lot of time and stress, but very important.    I also did an appearance on Huffington Post Live,  a panel conversation.  I've been asked to do another one and it just hasn't worked out, so hopefully, I'll be able to do one soon.   I've also been doing a regular Friday morning radio show talking about dating and relationships, so that's been fun to do and great to help people with their dating questions.   I've also struck out again on the dating scene, a couple of dates to catch you up on soon... not sure what to make of it all, but I'm putting myself back out there again, so I guess that's a good thing, we will see won't we?   Smooches!!! 

 

A Steamy, Fun Date with Man Candy

 

 

A passionate fantasy reel played in my mind while I was
getting ready for my fifth date with “Man Candy”.  This wasn’t JUST our fifth date, but this is
our second go around of dating.  We’ve
been walking a blurry line of passion and friendship since our casual
reconnection over beers earlier this summer.   
The dates have had a lot of conversation, sharing and long, passionate
makeout sessions on the way back to our cars.

Our emotional connection was always there, since the very
first time we spoke.   We have a lot in
common, see the world in a pretty similar way and we are both laid back about
most things.    We’ve had a comfort level
being together, the conversation has flowed easily but if there does happen to
be silence, it doesn’t seem awkward.

The physical chemistry has been effortless also.   I’m particular about kissing and he kisses
me exactly the way I like.   We both have
a naughty side, again a perfect match.  
I respect a lot about him, probably one of the traits I like the best is
that he doesn’t sleep around.  He’s not a
dude who goes clubbing and takes a different woman home every night.   He’s a one woman kind of a guy, extremely
picky and maybe even guarded but doesn’t go through women like a lot of men I
meet.

With all that being said, I wasn’t ready for my clothes to
end up on his floor at the end of the night, but I was looking forward to
spending more time with him.  It was a
Saturday night and neither one of us had our kids.   I wanted to do something different on our
date and we had tickets to a comedy show.  
The week was a long one and I was looking forward to a fun night out.    

Admittedly, I took a long time getting ready for the
evening.   I chose my new favorite top,
in teal.   It’s a beautiful color and
looks great with summer tanned skin and also draws out my blue eyes… well all
that AND it makes my boobs look huge, so that’s probably the honest reason I
chose it.   I’ve been losing a little
weight and pulling myself back up out of my bitchy, cranky, depression.    So,
it was actually a fun to take a long time getting ready, plucking eyebrows,
exfoliating every follicle and of course the telltale leg shaving.   

As I had one of these fantasy daydreams about the evening,
my logical mind would push out the fleshy imagery right back out of my brain
and put the panties back on.    I didn’t
want to repeat our past mistakes but I haven’t let myself get quite as attached
this time either.    I packed a toothbrush, contact solution and a
red silky chemise, well just in case I needed some overnight essentials…

Our night got off to a great start, lots of passionate
kisses that cued up the fantasy daydream reel in my mind.   My body was following right along where my
mind was going and I could feel myself wanting more.   Our eyes locked on each other’s between
kisses just long enough to build more desire and kiss again even harder.  Our kissing sesh had to stop abruptly as we
rushed off to make the show in time.  It
was raining lightly and it was difficult trying to jog in stiletto, but we made
it. 

We were seated quickly, ordered drinks that quickly came and
thoroughly enjoyed the show.  There was a
lot of material about being single and we made eye contact during the
performances, sharing in on the laughter together.  It was a great release after an exhausting
week and good for both of us. 

The drinks were especially strong and my alcohol tolerance
is especially weak.   I was in a jovial mood and the effects of the
liquor were more obvious when I tried to stand.   After the show it was still reasonably early
and we were having fun.  We decided to
catch the end of the baseball game on tv at the restaurant on the way out. 

It was crowded with lots of beautiful single people,
bachelorette party groups and sports fans watching the game.   The music was upbeat, there were buoyant
conversations and loud cheers about the action on the tv.     We were talking over all the noise and
having a good time.   I ordered a drink
and a water, as I knew I needed to slow down.

My plan to stop drinking was foiled by of all things, a
woman who bought me a drink, well a shot to be more exact.  She struck up a conversation, winked at me
curiously and bought me a shot.  The
drink immediately made me regret accepting it and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to
handle myself.   We decided to make a quick exit and he helped me
make my way through the crowd.

It was a beautiful night outside, the trees were lit
beautifully and the night’s sky was clear overhead.   There was live music and lots of activity in
the courtyard.  He pulled me close and
kissed me hard while we waited for the elevator down to my car.   I wasn’t going to even attempt to drive, and
he insisted to take my keys.   In the
car, we shared a few lingering kisses, enjoying a rare moment of privacy. 

He drove the short drive to his house and I tried my best to
walk in my high heels feeling the full effects of my drinks.  I grabbed my purse, but intentionally left my
“overnight” bag in the car.

The first moments alone in his house were a little
awkward.    It was actually a little
surreal to finally be alone together, after so many hot make out sessions in
dark parking lots.   It was weird finally
being in his house after all this time of knowing him, seeing where he sleeps
and showers every day.  It was a typical
guy’s bedroom, simple and just about the opposite of my canopy draped girly
boudoir.  

I planned on only hanging out for an hour or so and leaving
when I was sober.   He offered for me to
get comfortable and stay as long as I needed to until I felt ready to drive,
including overnight.  I thanked him and
knew I needed to let some time pass before I could drive home.   My
contacts were irritating and I mentioned that I wanted to take them out.  This innocent comment led to him asking me if
brought a case with me.  I answered that
it was in my car, and with that he swooped in like a gentleman and retrieved my
things for me.   

As I brushed my teeth and slipped out of my clothes and into
my silky red chemise, he was in the other room checking Facebook and email.

We both were exhausted and headed straight for bed.  It felt natural, almost ordinary in fact to
crawl into bed, pull the covers down and lay next to him.   He put
his arm around me and our mouths found each other in the darkness, sharing
sweet goodnight kisses.    My hands
caressed his chest and biceps, gently and it was cozy being tucked in under his
arm.     

 

Our kissing switched from sweet and gentle to passionate and
hungry within just a few seconds.   His
hand grabbed my breast tightly as his kiss felt literally like he was inhaling
me.   My arm slid around the small of his
waist, drawing him closer to me and then over his boxer briefs.   He kissed my neck hard and my desire for him
was becoming unbearable. 

He ran his fingers through my hair as he kissed me hard, causing
me to want him now and I told him so.  In
the next moment, his boxer briefs were on the floor and our bodies were joined
together.    It was exactly as I
remembered and the passion was even better this time.   It was incredibly hot and even more so being
this close, sweat from his brow dripped onto me and our kisses tasted salty
from kissing each other’s skin.

After, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.   When I awoke, I realized I had slept so
deeply that it felt almost like I was waking up from a surgery.   I
haven’t slept that deeply in a very long time and it felt good to wake up next
to him.    We shared morning breath
kisses which only lead to another lovemaking session, again perfect in every
way.

We shared some snuggling and casual chit chat but I had to
get my day started.  I got dressed and
tried to smooth my hair down.   He dressed also and we shared a few more
kisses as I pulled on the teal blouse from the night before.    I
drove the long drive home with a smile on my face, replaying the real fantasy
reel of fresh memories in my mind.   

I didn’t want to analyze what I was feeling or
what he might be feeling in this moment right now.   I did enjoy smelling his cologne still on my skin and replaying the night in my mind.  It felt like we were making progress and I was happy about the hot summer night with Man Candy… but would the sweetness last… ? 

Thanks so much for reading!

Smooches,

The Single Mom

 

.    

 

Cocktails, a big confession... and a couple of nibbles of "Man Candy"

 

It was a beautiful evening when I stepped out to meet “Man
Candy” at the restaurant overlooking the river.   This was our fourth date on our second go
around.  Since he’s an ex in “dating
math” that’s practically the matching sweaters stage, or at least completely
respectable to have intimate relations (translation: hot monkey sex…).   

Going into the date before this, I wasn’t exactly sure if it
was a trip to the “friend zone” or to ‘lovers lane”… but after a steamy makeout
session and blood rushing to various naughty bits, I could easily rule out the
friend zone, check.  However, the last
question I wanted to ask myself was “where are we, where is this going?”   I enjoyed this stage of flirting, kissing
and talking – there didn’t have to be any exchanges of promises or bodily
fluids for me to be happy.  In fact, I’m
trying to hold my heart back and to be honest it hasn’t been too hard because
he is too. 

I didn’t have a game plan mapped out for this date or any
specific moves.  In fact, I worked late
and had to rush getting ready for the night.  
It was a hot summer night and I wore a very sexy number that showed a
lot of cleavage and yet was sexy without being slutty.    He smiled when he saw me and greeted me
with a tight hug and a kiss.  

We were seated in the crowded restaurant, ordering drinks
and catching each other up on our days. 
Now that we are in the routine of keeping in touch every day, the
conversation flowed easily.   We talked
about the first time we dated (6 months ago) and how this time was different.  He admitted that there was so much about me
that he didn’t know the first time because he didn’t exactly give me a chance
to share a lot of myself to him.  He went
on to say that the things that he knows about me now make him like me a lot
more. 

He stopped short of thanking me per se for seeing him again,
but that it was a pleasure to get to know all my layers.   I added that the first time we dated that
when we were out, we had our hands all over each other and now we do more
talking.    I explained that one of the
reasons I agreed to see him again and to even consider a romantic reunion was
that he wasn’t the kind of man who had sex for sport.  It meant something to him and he didn’t sleep
around.   He became quiet and took a deep breath before
he confessed that he hasn’t been with anyone since we broke up in
February.  My words came slowly and I
looked down before I spoke them, then meeting his eyes again, telling him that
I hadn’t been with anyone else either.    

Our words seemed to float in the air, our eyes were locked
on each other and everything else seemed to be frozen around us.  It was one of those moments in life that
feels like a slow motion.   The heart
that I had previously been so successful holding onto was now thumping hard in
my chest.   I looked down at his mouth
approaching mine and then again at his eyes before closing my eyes.   I felt his lips and we shared a long, passionate
kiss.  The kiss seemed to make the words
official.  

We paid the check and he walked me to my car.   Finally, we had some privacy and our makeout
sesh became intense, maybe too intense for the parking garage.  We were startled by the sarcastic honk of a
passing car.  The driver obviously didn’t
care about this turning point in our relationship, whatever… lol.   

He was a little embarrassed about the passing car, but I
didn’t care and I kissed him harder, pressing him against my car.  As I kissed him, I was also mentally
processing what he told me and trying to decide if it really made a difference
or if I was exaggerating it because I wanted it to mean something.   My thoughts raced as he pulled me tighter to
him, now kissing my neck.  I could
instantly feel my defenses melt and wished I didn’t have to go home tonight, yet
knowing it was best that I did.   I
yanked him by his belt loops against me and gasped when I did, feeling his obvious
desire.

Leaving him was difficult but I knew I should.   We exchanged short kisses and as we parted,
we were reluctant to let go of each other’s hands.    The drive home was a daydream with romantic scenes
from our past, tonight and what it would be like to sleep next to him again.   Admittedly, I was loosening the tight grip
of my heart and for the moment it didn’t really seem to matter.

Thank you for reading... next date is even hotter... hubba hubba!

 

Other Awesome News!!!

I’ve been doing a regular show on a radio station and it’s
so much fun!  I talk about dating,
relationships and…    You can listen too,
or even call in and talk to me 513.579.1160.   I go on air at about 8:15ish, EST, so listen
to me if you can!  Smooches!!

http://www.realtalk1160.com/

 

Smooches!!

The Single Mom

Another Sexy Date with an eX - Man Candy

Solving for the eX....

This might come as a total shock to most of my regular
readers, but I DON’T sit around pondering String theory or the Pythagorean theorem.  However  I say with equal parts of humility and sarcasm
that I’m pretty sure I’ve uncovered a universal truth, a formula that will no doubt
put me in the same consideration as Einstein,  Socrates and Pythagorean, whoever he was.   To solve for X, it is important to break
down the Y first.  X = eX of course and Y
= WHY?  As in… “why the HELL did you dump
my ass, you douche?”   

I’ve taken a lot of heat for going back out with my ex, “Man
Candy” for a second time.  Probably
because I frequently say that going out with an ex is a bad idea and one shouldn’t
do it, unless you’re a total raving dumbass.   Also, the way we ended was abrupt and
confusing and I get that.   I digress…
but my point here is that my “rule” of not dating an ex, probably should have
some EXceptions, based on maybe the why’s of the breakup.  X-Y = a “maybe” for seeing Man Candy again.

The first time around, we did everything “smart” and “right”
leading up to having sex, didn’t rush into it and thought it was the right
decision, when we finally did the nasty. 
Well, ya that waiting thing didn’t work out so well for me now did
it?   I remember picking up the pieces of
my broken heart after all that, of course I haven’t forgotten.   A lot happened after we broke up and my life
became exponentially more stressful and dating was about the last thing on my
mind, for a long time.

To be totally upfront with you, I feel partially like being
out on a date with him now is my way of easing back into dating…. Whether
that’s right or wrong, I just feel like he’s my training wheels or
something.  I’m still trying to find my
balance and not sure that meeting someone totally new is a good idea right now. 

I’m also struggling with trying to discern if I’m being
objective about my going back to an ex and thinking about it from a lot of
different angles.  I recently got
irritated with a man I was talking to when he went back to his ex, after using
me to get through the emotional heavy lifting of the first few weeks of their
breakup.  She cheated on him with his
best friend and she had thrown a brick through a window of his truck.   Ok, so
that “Y” is because she was bat shit crazy, don’t get back together.  Duh.

So here’s what’s different with my situation with “Man Candy”,
since we broke up he had a dose of reality, not meeting anyone that he remotely
liked and had doubts about why he let me go. 
He also had a monumental life changing event that I’ll tell you more
about in a second… but suffice it to say that he’s rethinking a lot.   I know, I know… I feel your cynicism and I
agree, I have it too.   Yet, I’m being
different and smarter, holding back a lot myself and truly dating him to have
fun.  Crazy thought, huh?  Yeah.  
I’m at a different place than I have been, maybe ever.   I mean don’t get me wrong if things go well,
I’m open to that, just not losing any sleep about it. 

Speaking of sleep, It was a coincidence, but I texted him on
a day last week that one of his close friends was killed in a car accident – I
happened to get his text with this news while I was sound asleep.    I could tell he was upset from the tone and
my sleepy brain woke up to answer his text with concern and I invited him to
call me even though it was very late.   He hasn’t called me for a long time and I was
shocked when a few minutes later he did.  
He went on and on about the car accident, the details and how it made
big news and the driver that killed him was being irresponsible, essentially he
rambled and I listened.  He was angry and
understandably so. 

He talked about his friend’s son left behind and the wife,
memories of them in college and playing ball through the years.   His voice cracked and so did mine as I tried
to find words to console him, keeping my voice down to not wake up my boys down
the hall.   We talked until after 1:00
and when we signed off he seemed genuinely grateful that I was there to talk to
him. 

Over the next few days, we traded texts and I could tell how
hard he was taking it.  He didn’t want to
talk, he was fighting the darkness, hard.   It broke my heart, honestly and yet I knew he
wanted and probably needed space.   The
funeral was almost a week later, and that had to just make it feel like it was an
eternity, ugh.    I let it go and stopped making the first move
to reach out to him.   He knew I cared
but I didn’t want to smother him either, it was a fine line.    I’m also walking this fine line with him to
not put me dead in the friend zone either. 
  

Simultaneously, my emotions were going through a bit of a
rollercoaster.   I’m dealing with some
teenage rebellion issues from my oldest son and also fighting some of my own
dormant grief from my mom’s death.  In a
nutshell, I’ve been emotional lately and going through this alongside Man Candy
reminded me how short life is and how I vowed to make sure I never forgot that,
though I honestly have.

I was inspired by all this emotion to actually have
feelings, and actually do something about having them… haha.   So, I did something that wasn’t a huge risk
but enough of one for me… I wrote on my personal Facebook page (he is one of my
friends on it) something about how life is short and not to take people for
granted.   He’s rarely on Facebook and I didn’t do it
exactly to inception his brain, I just kind of put it out there, so to speak.

The following day, he sent me a text inviting me out for a
drink after work.   I had to juggle some things around, but was
pretty sure I could make it.   Luckily I
had makeup with me at work and something cute, but not slutty to wear.   I primped and was excited to see him, but
again not sure if this was consoling a friend or a date.   Either way, I hunkered down prepared for
either scenario.

We set up a meeting nearby on the river, it was a gorgeous
night.  I was in a great mood singing
along with the radio but planning what to say. 
The song on the radio was some mindless pop song, the chorus was “I want
you back… I want you back, wa wa want you back…”   When I realized what I was singing I
switched the song quickly and made a sarcastic face, convincing myself for a
second (or less) that I didn’t want him back…  

When I arrived, he greeted me warmly, smiled and hugged me
very close and long.   I followed him to a table overlooking the
river.   We ordered drinks and snacks and the
conversation flowed easily.   I started
first, updating him about some pretty big news going on in my life,  and he was really excited for me.  He was supportive and listened intently.    We laughed, talked easily and the drinks
were kicking in.    He started opening up
about his friend,  his voice cracked as
he spoke, and he looked directly at me as he explained what happened.  I listened as he shared memories of his
friend and how this was the hardest loss he’s experienced, mostly because of
the shock.   I shared how my mom died suddenly and how that
was hard and I could somewhat understand his loss.  

We talked for hours, literally about everything.    It felt good talking to him and I know
although he is a communicative man, that he doesn’t have a lot of people he can
freely express himself to like this.   His icy grey eyes were locked on me as I kept
my attention on him and well I’m not gonna lie, I did notice the way his
muscles looked under his shirt.   He
teased me about my leopard print shirt and it was obvious that he was looking
at the way my chest filled out the tightly fitting shirt. 

The waiter came to freshen our drinks and I ran to the
ladies room for a minute, as this was a natural break to step away.   I freshened up my lipgloss and chewed a
breath mint as I walked back to our table. 
 

I teasingly pinched his arm for teasing me about my shirt a
few minutes ago.   He smiled and his arms quickly swept around my
waist as he drew me tightly to him in a long passionate kiss, perhaps
inappropriate kiss.   We were oblivious
to those around us and it felt like his kisses were melting me, our bodies were
against each other tightly and it was probably too intense for the
setting.  We took a short break to
continue the pinching and teasing, but started kissing again in the middle of a
sentence.    Obviously what we had to say wasn’t more
important than kissing.

He paid for the drinks and we left, to see an overlook of
the river and the beautiful night’s sky. 
The stars were shining and several boats were out on the river, and the
city in the background was beautifully lighting up the sky.    We kissed a few times, stronger and harder
than before at  the table, my hands found
his front jeans pockets and pulled his body against mine as his mouth engulfed
mine.   As I kissed him, I bit his lower
lip and he groaned in pleasure and pulled me tighter against him. 

He must have caught himself and realized that we should walk
towards our cars.    When we found my car, he immediately started
kissing me and pushed me forcefully against my car.  He stopped and looked at me, glared at me even
as he ran his hands through my hair, pulling it all to one side as he yanked it
hard and then planted another forceful kiss on my expectant mouth.  His body pressed hard against me as I felt
his passion for me growing. 

The voices of another couple walking by us made him pull
back and stop kissing me.  I shot him a
disapproving glare as I yanked him tightly against me again by his
pockets.     I then kissed him hard,
pulling his chest against mine and biting his lip again.   His
hands swept around my ass, pulling me against him, he made sure I felt the
force of him, grinding slightly against me. 
I moaned slightly, uncontrollably as my memory recalled how he felt
inside me.  My body wanted to continue
with that memory, but my brain was fighting it. 
 As we kissed, I tasted blood and
made a little joke about it between more kisses and nibbles.   

We said our goodnights, and I headed home with a smile on my
face but my brain still intact in my head.   Thank you for reading!

Smooches,

The Single Mom

What we’ve learned from Fifty Shades of Grey

In just a few words:  women
are horny.  Please allow me to expand on
my hypothesis…

I don’t remember the first time this book popped into my
consciousness, but it seemed to be like a typhoon in my conservative, upper
income, suburb.   My neighborhood friends
were all hot and bothered by it, lighting up Facebook, posting statuses that
rivaled the passion of someone sportin a new SUV on the cul de sac.    It reminded me of when my junior high
passed around a copy of The Amityville
Horror and the hysteria that book inspired in my junior high.   Yet this was a different hysteria and I
can’t help but to put my own sarcastic and irreverent spin on the horny
housewife humpfest summer of 2012…

This book opened up a sexual Pandora’s Box that has touched
many a nerve… well and maybe a few specific nerves… wink wink.   I’ve been invited to women’s sex toy parties
inspired by this book and Magic Mike parties.     My married friends were disappointed that
I didn’t join them to see this oiled up six pack and man meat
gyrations on the big screen.  

I admit it sounds kinda good, but having a night out to
indulge in a fantasy isn’t as necessary for me as it is to them, I haven’t been
waking up to the same dude for 20 plus years like they have.   To restate this in my totally mature writing
voice: “nanananabooboo”.

If this Shades of Grey
craziness has taught me anything, it’s that a lot of middle age women have a
sexual craving that isn’t being fulfilled or even expressed.   How sad is that?    It’s easy to talk about going to see a hot, greased
up, sexy dude in a G-string shake his man meat, but it’s far more difficult to
talk about the deeper longing some women apparently have.    

The role I play for my married friends is the guinea pig.    Their curiosity was peaked after reading 50 Shades
and they asked me if the s&m sexual relationship like the one portrayed in
the book was “normal” out there in dating land. 
 A few of them were so aroused by
the dominance in the book that they wanted to experiment with it in their own
bedrooms.    Maybe make it their own in a freaky, married,
missionary style wackiness, but still. 

It hit me in a profound way once I thought about it from a
totally different perspective.   Men are
portrayed as sexual beasts and it’s accepted as a reality in our culture to
some extent an expectation that men are driven by sexual urges – encouraged even.
  Yet, when a woman has the same urges
and God forbid acts upon them, our society is quick to throw a label all over
her.   Think about what words we have to describe a
sexually active man, I can’t think of one. 
Yet compare that to what we call the same woman: slut, whore, loose,
etc…  

We’ve come a long way since being a little hard on the
Beaver last night and cooking dinner wearing a string of pearls, but how do we
go further?   Obviously, talking about it is a huge
step.   Next, how do we remove the stigma
that a sexual woman isn’t something hideous? 
 I’d like to throw a challenge out
there to anyone reading this that you pause and think about it next time you instinctively
label a woman for being sexual.  

Here’s my 2 pennies:  for
me being sexual works better when there are some boundaries, not platinum and
diamond ones, but some.   For starters I
need, respect, attraction, understanding or in a pinch tequila.   It
just works better I’m not going to have to not make eye contact with someone or
I’m worried that I’ll never hear from the dude again.  Wishful thinking?  Yes of course, but I’m going to always go for
what I want.

I encourage you to push out your comfort zone a little, think about
expanding your bedroom routine.   I can
tell you that since being single and being at the smorgasbord, I’ve liked a few
things put on my plate… wink, wink.   

Thank you for reading and have a little fun out there.

Smooches,

The Single Mom