First Date Tips and Reentering the Dating World

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/19/dating-after-divorce_n_3118481.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Last week, the Huffington Post asked me to participate on
the panel of Huff Post Live to talk about Dating after Divorce, First Dates and
Dealbreakers.  I was immediately excited
and a it’s subject I know well.  Last week, I went on
two fantastic first dates, so I’ve  recently experienced first date jitters and felt like I could make a contribution.

I’d say over the last 7 years I’ve been on anywhere from
about 75 to 100 first dates.  Yikes, that
sounds like a lot, but over 7 years, that’s an average of 10 a year on the low
side.   My first dates have ranged from
being taken to Hooters to watch cage fighting to overnight camping, so I’ve had a wide
range of experiences.

To give you some reference, I was married for 13 miserable years, had
two kids and when it was time to date again, I was chomping at the bit.  I couldn’t wait for romantic first kisses in
the rain and to run across a field of daisies to greet the man of my dreams,
arms stretched out wide and his likewise.  
That whole dream sequence didn’t play out so well for me in the real
world.  What I ended up with in reality
was more like the plot of a horrible Lifetime movie.  I met men who had major substance and violence
issues and a big 'ol helping of dysfunction.  

After a revolving door of douchebags, I ended up on my
shrink’s comfy sofa for a good old fashioned trip to the wood shed.  She ever so gently pointed out to me that I
kept choosing the same bad boy over and over again, the color of the Harley may
be different as well as the placement of tattoos, but I had to change and expand my dating pool.  She
advised me to do two things at that moment. 
 

The first was to write a list of traits that I wished to find in a long
term partner and dealbreakers.   The
purpose of this list was to be a reference to keep me on track when I met
a man - if he didn’t meet most of the qualities I wanted, I had to move on to
the next one.    

The second piece of advice was to go out on as many dates as
possible.   Since I had a particular
“type”, she suggested I go outside of that comfort zone to meet men of different
ages, careers, or ethnicities.  
Basically, she challenged me to have a lot of casual first dates in the
hopes of expanding the type of man I would be attracted to. 

After a few glasses of wine and some laughs with a married
girlfriend, I had a Match.com profile.   My girlfriend enjoyed spending time with me, vicariously feeling like she was a
character in “Sex and the City” but then would happily go home to the arms of her loving
husband.    She left and before long I
was answering emails, instant messaging and making dates. 

That summer, I had shared parenting and for
the week I didn’t have my kids, I sometimes had 7 dates in a week.    They ranged from horrific to not God-awful,
but eventually I did meet someone pretty terrific, who wasn’t the stereotype
bad boy.

Fast forward to the present and I have learned a lot the
hard way and I still fall for the wrong guy.  
My life is so much more complicated now, having my kids 24/7, rarely
having time to date.  During these years, I've taken time to grow and explore myself.  Time I wish I would have taken before I started dating in the beginning.  It was productive to do an honest self-inventory and look hard at things I needed to change.     

Recently, I've
forced myself to dip my toe into the dating pool again with a breezy new attitude.   I approach dating now more like a trip to Golden Corral, I take a spoonful of yummies on my plate and see what I like.  If I want more, I can go back for a second helping.   It's more important for me now than ever to keep things in perspective since I have more time constraints now.

 Here are some of my general tips
to get you out there on your first dates. 

1.     
Talk to and date several people, trying to NOT
focus on just one person.   This helps
keep it light and having many people to talk to prevents you from thrusting you
into a Rocky Road tailspin if you don’t get a text from a specific person.

2.     
If you find someone online you think you like,
meet them relatively soon, within about a week or so.  I’ve made this mistake, talking to someone
constantly and becoming very attached only for it to blow up in my face.  Bottom line is you have to meet the person to
know if you have physical attraction, so do this before you fall for the person
you think they are, not really the person they truly are.

3.     
If you’re a woman, my advice for how to dress
for a first date is to dress like a GOOD movie trailer.  You know, the movie trailer that doesn’t show
all the best scenes of the movie in the 60 second commercial.   Dress in a way that gives some idea of
“coming attractions” but not showing everything you have.  In essence, it’s ok to be sexy but not
slutty.

4.     
Plan a short date, not longer than a couple of
hours or so.  This way you have a built
in “out” if you don’t hit it off.  If you
do like the person, it’s also going to build intrigue for the next time.   Of course, if you really like each other and
want to continue, go with it.

5.     
Do an activity on a first date if possible, not
a dinner.   An activity helps you bond
more readily than trying to make small talk across a dinner table for 2
hours.    Go to a sporting event, play
mini golf or a wine tasting.  If you must
do a dinner date, choose something that has some built in excitement like a
hibachi restaurant or a fondue restaurant where you are actually doing
something.

6.     
In your conversation, be positive.  Talk about fun activities and positive
subjects.   Don’t bring up your ex and if
it comes up, share a casual sentence or two.  
Listen carefully about what your date has to say about their ex,
however.  It will give you a lot of clues
about if they are over that relationship and how they talk about that person
will give you a lot of insight.

7.     
Be honest as much as possible, but don’t feel
like you need to bring your tax return.

8.     
Of course meet at a neutral location and always
be cautious about your safety.

So, whether you’re going on your first date after your
divorce or your 50^th, I hope these ideas help you get your dating
mojo back.  Oh, and one of my first dates
a couple of weeks ago has potential to be something lasting.  Who knows?

Thank you for reading and please share with me your thoughts!  

Smooches,

The Single Mom

 \

For Love or Money? The Rules of Dating are Changing

I don’t know about you, but you’re much more likely to find
me riding my shiny rainbow unicorn headed off to whoop it up on Cupcake Island
than you are to find me balancing a checkbook or worse still, in some stupid
financial planning class (yawn).  The
thought of that practically dulls my glittery eye shadow.  I like living in my own world and the people here
really love me too. 

“Reality” and “finances” and other words of that type are
not allowed in my day to day vocabulary. 
I’m much more concerned with, “Is the lipgloss shiny enough?” “Are the
heels high enough?” and I buy jeans based on which one makes my booty look
better, am I worried about the price? Nah, notsomuch. 

So, imagine the pure shock and horror I felt when I first
heard that “Credit Score Dating” is a thing. 
Yes, there are new dating sites devoted to match potential dates up by
high credit scores.  If you didn’t just
throw up in your mouth a little, you need to process that concept.  I’ll wait… 

Gulp… what did you say??? Credit... Score….. Dating?  I about dropped my credit cards there for a
second…   I understand “Credit Score” and “Dating”, well
of course I know about dating! Boom, chicka, wa wa… Do I know about dating?   Yes I do thank you very much! *Cheesy wink
and air gun*

However, putting these two ideas together makes just about
as much sense to me as me putting a stick figure family on the back window of
my sassy, sexy, sports car.   

I’m middle aged, divorced and just now beginning to embrace
the flaws of said middle aged body along with the emotional shit sandwich that
life serves all of us from time to time.  
It’s tough enough for me at forty *cough, cough* to put myself “out
there” and wonder “Is he going to like me?”  “Is my rack big enough?” “Do my Spanx lines
show through my clothes?” …you know the normal checklist we all go through in
our head before we meet someone new.    Now,
I have to add one more item to the list to be self-conscious about?  You’re kidding me… right?  

When I first heard about this, I nearly marched myself straight
to the cat adoption shelter and cleaned them out, along with taking Ben &
Jerry home for a future of ice cream and kitties.   Credit
score dating was sure to be the end to my legendary career of dating, a fantasy
highlight video played in my mind of the great dates, crying ex-boyfriends
giving teary speeches and finally culminating with the ceremony where I retired
my high heels and lipgloss, waving goodbye to onlookers. 

Then I realized that I had a friend who could help me.  He’s a guy who works in the financial world
and yammers on all the time about balancing your checkbook and only buying
things you can afford and making a household budget, and a lot of useless, boring knowledge that I never paid much attention to.  

It then also dawned on me that if I didn’t make some serious
changes in my finances, that I’d no longer be able to party it up on Cupcake
Island and I wouldn’t have a unicorn, shiny or otherwise to get me there,
shitsticks!   Screw you, “Reality” – you
Sir, suck! 

I quickly hopped off my unicorn and gave my friend Britt a
call.  He sent me a lot of information
and even a video about how divorce can affect your credit score and some common
myths about relationships and credit.  He
teaches a financial planning class and also gave me some great information and
makes it easy, and almost fun.  Almost.   He made a difficult subject easier and I’m
going to share his suggestions with you about credit and divorce.  You can also email him directly at

bscearce@gmail.com for more
information or help. 

Credit
considerations when facing a Divorce

Divorce is an emotional separation that can greatly impact
your financial situation. Many people are financially fit until faced with the
economic consequences of marital separation. There are some steps you can take
to minimize money problems during what is already a stressful time.

1. 
Beware of using money or charge cards as a
marital weapon - if accounts are jointly held, you may end up paying the killer
bill.

2.  Stop charging unless you have the personal
income to pay it off in a timely fashion. Do not use credit cards to supplement
missing income.

3.   Save for moving expenses and legal fees. They
may be hefty and you should save and not charge or take new loans - unless, you
have a secure job and can pay them back as promised.

4.  Pay utilities on time - especially if they are
in your name. If you have to move and resume service, you may be asked to pay
security deposits if you have not been a good paying customer in the past. The
same goes for rent and mortgage payments. Many landlords request credit bureau
reports, and if the payment history is poor, they may refuse to rent to you.

 5.  Do not take out any new joint loans with your
spouse. If your spouse doesn't pay, you will have to pay the entire loan.

 6.   Write the credit card companies and send a
certified letter requesting a new credit card in your name only. According to
the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, they must grant you a credit card equal to
the current card's credit limit.

7.   Protect your divorce judgment. If the divorce
papers stipulate your spouse is responsible for the debts, unless you take
legal action to remove your name from the original contract, the creditor may
still pursue you in court.

8.  Base all new bills and living arrangements on
what you can reasonably afford on your own. Don't depend on child support or
alimony when making future income considerations.

9.  Read and understand any financial documents
BEFORE you sign. Make sure your attorney or financial advisor explains all the
consequences of a decision, including any penalties for early withdrawals and
income tax complications.

Here is a great video about Marriage/Divorce & Credit:

http://www.fox19.com/category/240225/video-landing-page?clipId=8559164&flvUri=&partnerclipid=&topVideoCatNo=95951&c=&autoStart=true&activePane=info&LaunchPageAdTag=homepage&clipFormat=flv

So, before you go invest in an expensive new pushup bra with
all the “special effects”, and sexy Lebotins, go balance your checkbook first
and, then go knock ‘em dead on your next date!

Thanks for reading and go have some great dates!



Has your credit score come up in conversation on a date?  How do you feel about "Credit Score Dating"?   Please connect with me in the comments below, I'd love to hear what you think!

Smooches!

The Single Mom

So, what has The Single Mom been up to?  My world has been hectic with the boys, work and a lot of self improvement.  I've been working hard and things are looking up for me!   I've also been out on several excellent dates with a couple of men I really like, but just taking it as it comes.  They are both freshly out on "the market" again from new divorces, so I'm being more cautious than normal but having a lot of fun getting to know them.  Big smooches! 

Single Men Dating Online

It has become very hard now a days to find a partner in old-school mode because of the headaches the calendar of daily life. Once she has finished with the everyday work are surrounded by new works. This kind of situation a normal person is facing. Expect all of one day to finish something else in our lives or, sometimes, we get a lot of rest. Don't have the time to find your a special duty to your plans. At the same time, you are too eager to meet your dream partner soon. What they probably do in this position?, Men dating sites online are the best option for you. You can begin your search for your partner sitting right in front of a computer. You don't need to travel a distance to meet a friend. It's so simple that you can simply pull a Chair and carry on with it.

No matter what your age, height, weight and physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and look forward to your company ... If the short-term oa reports are what you want. If you've found suddenly "on-the-market" after a report it is loose or are too busy with work to spend a lot of time looking for a woman to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the scene goes back to you.

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started. The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs. There are great sites that offer many extras such as live video chat and even match up with the ladies with profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests such as religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. you must choose one or two that will suit your needs. I don't recommend the free sites. The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you are not satisfied and the investment is small. A whole month costs less than a dinner and movie date.

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a photo recently but flattering yourself. Now you're all set. Start contacting women whose profile looks interesting to you and respond to any woman who has contacts ... and to do it right away ... but not on public holidays or on weekends. You don't want to appear so desperate. Don't give up after a month and that you will never find the right woman for you. New people join online dating services a day and at least half of them are many Lord, you want to meet you.

Happy Valentine's Day... Feelin' the Love!

 

Hello, friends I’ve missed you so much!  I enjoy hearing from all of you and the
friendships I’ve found from sharing this part of my life with you.   I hope love or at least some extremely hot
lust has found you and life is treating you well! 

I’ve been busy with the mom thing and work.  There has been so much going on with having a
very sick boy and trying to juggle all of the normal responsibilities I have.   Without going into too much detail, my
youngest son has needed a lot of attention and my focus has been shoring up our
lives.   What little time I’ve had I have
been working out and trying to get my head together, when that didn’t work I
just drank myself stupid… hey whatever works, right?

Things ended sadly with “Latin Lover” as he and his ex-wife
reconciled to raise their child together.  
It hurt me tremendously and sucked the air out of my life
temporarily.  If you follow me on
Twitter, I had a painful tweeting meltdown right on my Twitter stream that would make me
bawl if I read today, but I’m putting him behind me.  I’ve deleted his number after all this time
and finally closed that chapter of my life, and blog… haha… sob.... 

Fortunately, just recently I’ve been able to start to have a
little bit of “me time” and even have a couple of good dates.   I’m really trying to pace myself and make
good decisions because my life is really complicated right now, so it’s just
been fun to be just be "out there" and flirting again.  I’m going to enjoy the moment and not overthink
it for now, I promise. 

I’ve heard from so many ex-boyfriends in the past week, it’s
crazy.   It is an annual Valentine’s Day
tradition much like the Swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano, so I’m more
immune to it than I’d normally be.  Some
I’ve ignored and others I’ve at least texted, blech!

One of my past long distance loves reached out to me and I
can’t bring myself to talk to him, despite his angry and sexy texts reminiscing
about our past.  It’s sad but I just can’t
open myself up to him once more.  My
heart finally gets calloused to certain people and while that’s a good thing, I
never know if I’m being too protective. 
Someday, when I’m the crazy cat lady, I’ll wonder why I was such a
crusty bitch in 2013, but for today I’m not ready to let the same person hurt
me multiple times.

So, while my Valentine’s Day “love” story doesn’t include a
meaty dude and me walking off into the sunset, it does include two boys who
call me mom and my love for myself. 
Those are more important loves for my long term happiness and don’t you
even try to talk me out of my delusions, dammit!

Thank you so much for reading!

Smooches,

 

The Single Mom

 

 

Dating and Fear of Rejection

Life Coach Advice

Single again? While we travel through life, we often end up single. There are many reasons. Could be the result of meeting the wrong person, death, deceit, falsehood, divorce, location, goals, and more. Losing a US report impacts in many ways. It can be very painful, or it can be very refreshing, or in any medium. No matter what the cause or the degree of pain, there is a truth that we all share: we don't want to end up alone. We want to find companionship.

In order to enter into a new relationship, we must be willing to meet and hang out with people. It is our own fear, however, that is often in the middle.

We are afraid to get rejected.
We are afraid to have a bad time.
We are afraid of getting hurt.
We are afraid of having to refuse someone else.

All these fears are valid still easily exceed. If someone refuses, it just means that that person feels that it is not right for them. Believe me, there's someone else that I'd be with you. You must accept the rejection. It is only through trying to arrive to the correct person.

Many dates and relationships do not work. You can look back and think of it as a bad time. It's good to have a bad time. Only through bad dates arrive at good dates. It is through our bad relationships that we have the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and what we want, to approach then relations with more knowledge to succeed.

Nobody wants to get hurt, but if you don't have the courage to fall in love and get hurt, we cannot be in love. Getting hurt is part of the process. Let's get through it and the pain goes away. The best part is that there is a new love waiting for you.

You may also be afraid to refuse someone. The truth is that no one is forced to be with someone who isn't right for them. Rejection is part of the process of dating and relationships.

Change how you watch and see it as a favor. When you deny someone who are releasing or she going to find someone who really appreciate that person. Look at it this way even when someone refuses. After all, you don't really want to be with someone who you don't want to? It is better to be free to find someone who really wants to be with you.

Can you predict the future? I can't. In fact, most of us don't think we can. Yet we continue to believe in self-limiting thoughts about the future. We believe so strongly in these thoughts that allow them to prevent us from moving forward and realize opportunities.

Rather than anticipate the pain, can I predict to you that if you embrace the process of dating instead of watching life go by, you have good times and bad. I can also predict that these good times and bad will take you to even better times.

Embrace the journey and release your fear.

The Dating Game: Bachelor #3

 

Was my crappy luck in the dating game over or was it about
to change?   My date with Bachelor #1 was
awkward, Bachelor #2 was a good date but I didn’t go home with him and as a
result there wasn’t a date number 2.  So,
was the third man going to be the charm? 

My first date with Bachelor #3 was a casual lunch get
together that didn’t really even feel like a date.  We met on Twitter, chatted back and forth and
made a last minute lunch “date”.    I’d
just come from a job interview, was in a suit and was still decompressing from
the pressure of being grilled.  Heck, how
much more pressure should I put on myself than to have a first date right after
an interview?  Sheesh that’s a big ol’
stress sandwich.  

I enjoyed our lunch conversation and it was effortless.  We instantly seemed comfortable with each
other, asked “get to know you” questions peppered with a lot of random humor.   This date wasn’t long after the full court
press that Bachelor #2 put on me and so having a funny conversation with a man
was a welcomed surprise.   After lunch,
we hugged and talked about getting together and I looked forward to that.  I had a great time, we connected and it was
so low key, exactly what I needed.

As the next couple of days went by, we kept in touch but he wasn’t
making typical aggresive male moves.  He
casually asked me on a date for the next weekend.   We set a date for a movie and met at the
theatre on Saturday night.  I was very
relaxed to see him, getting ready was stress free, although I fixed my makeup
and hair for a date, I didn’t think much about what to wear. 

We met up, exchanged quick hugs and bought our tickets.   We also bought the monster trough of
popcorn, large enough to feed a small third world country.   Seating was limited, but we made our way
inside the comfy theatre and settled in for the show.   We hadn’t broken any kind of physical date
contact barriers yet and I could sense he was contemplating making the typical
arm around the shoulder move or some other similar gesture.   So, we exchanged casual chit chat through
the previews while I imagined he was planning a move.

It felt comfortable being with him, maybe too comfortable if
that’s possible.  After the other recent
dates and having to feel like I was defending myself it was nice to not have to
worry.  We exchanged quiet chit chat
during the previews and I playfully snuck bites of his popcorn.  

I felt relaxed and being with him was incredibly easy.   Once the movie started, I made a joke about
how he could do the pretend yawn move so that he could put his arm around
me.   Maybe it was me being a control
freak or maybe I wanted to rescue him from wondering if was going to be
ok.   He seemed happy to have the “green light” and
he moved the arm rest between us so that I could snuggle closer. 

It struck me as a little odd having this intimate kind of
physical contact with someone before having our first kiss, but it also felt
comfortable, like slipping on a favorite sweater.   We saw an action movie and enjoyed reacting
to the plot twists with each other.    My
feet were tucked under me, comfortably and his arm rested casually around my
waist, touching the bare skin between the waist of my jeans and my blouse.  It was a sensual feeling and certainly wasn’t
out of bounds for us being on just a second date.  

Once the movie ended, we made plans to have dinner at the
Irish Pub a block away, a place I’ve spent many evenings and was the setting of
many fun and romantic memories for me.   He arrived first and claimed a table in the
cozy library room.    We ordered dinner and drinks and immediately started
talking.  For some reason, tonight’s
conversation was much more serious.  

He
talked about his divorce and some serious health challenges he endured.  I listened intently and shared a little about
some things I’ve been through as well.  
However, I wasn’t expecting the evening to have such a serious tone,
unlike our first date.   I tried to
inject some humor and I wasn’t sure I hit the mark of the levity I tried for
because it felt like I might have offended him with my joking. 

I enjoy real conversations and I surely don’t want to
participate in superficial ones, but I wasn’t prepared for tonight to be so
heavy.  I wondered if he felt like he
wanted to disclose these details in the name of honesty, as a confession
requirement for a relationship, or if it was just something he felt like he
needed to talk about.   Either way, I
appreciated that he felt like he could trust me with such personal information
but I wondered if he still had some healing to do from his divorce, I wasn’t
sure.    It was such a serious conversation
that it wasn’t conducive to my typical flirty moves and charm, so I was
beginning to question if there was an attraction, it was difficult to decode.

We both had light dinners, finished the conversation on a
positive note, and we decided to call it a night.  He put his arm around me as he walked me to
my car in the crisp fall air.   It felt
more relaxed and I was wondering if he’d kiss me as we walked along the
sidewalk.   I pointed out my car and we
stopped in front of it to exchange goodbyes. 
He towered over me by more than a foot and our long hug soon became a
longer kiss, and then several more.   We
kissed long and passionately under the stars. 
  

His arms reached tightly around my waist as he pulled me close
to him as his kisses became intense.   I
felt his hands graze over my ass as he cupped me tightly against him as we
kissed.    I enjoyed kissing him and I felt wanted, as
my attraction for him was starting to increase.   His passion intensified as he grabbed my
head while his kisses became hot like fire in my mouth.  As we kissed, his fingers moved up through my
hair, grabbing the roots.  It was a sexy
moment and I became aware I was making an audible moaning sound, but I wasn’t
going to stop. 

A lot of thoughts were racing through my head as we kissed
and it felt good to know that we had physical chemistry since I generally liked
him as a person.   I was lost in the
feeling of being swept away by his kisses and as we stopped, I tried to talk
coherently, but it took me a few seconds to rattle myself back into the moment.

We ended the night with warm fuzzies, happy thoughts and
promises to see each other again soon.  Yet, after the date, we kept in touch but my
life took a swift turn down the 'ol toilet.   

My ex became a real ass to our youngest son and hasn’t
participated in his life since.  It’s
made me have to juggle everything and has reduced my social life down to the
bare bones, sadly.    Out of fairness, I
did give Bachelor #3 some basic details of the happenings of my life and I
understand if he decided to let things settle for awhile.   I’m
disappointed that we didn’t get to see more of each other but for the short
term, my main focus has to be on my son and getting him through this.   

It’s been a difficult emotional landscape for my son,
affected his grades tremendously and I’m also trying to balance it with my work
and my own challenges.   Honestly, it’s
been a challenge to be everything, pick him up from school when he’s sick, get
my work done, wearing all these hats has been a source of major stress.

I tried to make the holidays as celebratory as I could, but
I could sense my son was feeling an undercurrent of rejection and pain.   Somehow, I know we will get through this and
be better for it.  I know I will, I have
to and I hope that this new year has lots more kisses and warm fuzzies in store
for me.   I am still talking to Latin
Lover, but his life is stressful at the moment too.   So, I'm trying to just keep my focus on what is important today, and that's my son.

This is a season in my life that parenting has to come first
and it’s only temporary, so I’m going to pass through it and know that it’s all
falling into place the way it needs to.   I’ve come so far this year and I have so many
exciting things ahead, I know I’m close and I can see good things coming.   Thank you for being patient, I'd love to be able to write more but haven't had time off until this break.

I thank you so much for reading, for sending me good
thoughts and I hope your holiday season is wonderful!

Smooches,

The Single Mom

 

The Right Questions to Ask On a Date

The immense popularity of the Internet has made the concept of online dating a fairly common phenomenon in today's world. More and more people are looking to find partners online. Finding love online seems to grow with each passing day. Social networking sites, websites and dedicated chat online dating services are bringing like-minded more in the virtual world. However, online dating is not as simple as meeting someone in person. The virtual world poses different threats and all are a little worried. Then, it becomes extremely important to ask the right questions during meeting sessions online.

Ok. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. Now what? How do you begin to separate those who have real potential and those that have no potential at all? You need to find something about who this strange woman really is and not only those who want to believe it. It would be nice if women wore labels like "Gold Digger" or "Daddy's girl" .... but not so it's up to you to find these things and you can't just make direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady, if you decide to do so.

After you are past the initial small talk, I ask you: "what are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?" Listen carefully to your answers. Going to tell you a lot about herself and her opinions on men in General.

You should then ask: "What do you really think about online dating?" Now she will tell you if you have had bad experiences or encounters online and will help you avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important ..... "What caused the break in your relationship last?" If you put all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If you get all the same fault, you should probably do the same. If you say that the breakup was mutual consent or that the relationship wasn't right for neither, you have heard the answer. Move forward, but always with caution.

Make the right questions will give understanding and make you more confident when you meet the Lady for the first time.